Review 2022

 Twenty-Twenty two had like the preceeding years its challenges of which one, considerable industrial action by a variety people was to cause issues such as delayed playthings, anxiety inducing logistical nightmares as train services were curtailed even if planned, difficulty in weekend travel as no train drivers were rostered so servces were cancelled at short notice and so on.

Like a lot of people I had this Covid that doesn't test positive too and indeed are suffering from it as I type being unwell for days  at a time which does lead me to say, please wear your masks if you're in busy crowded spaces as it seems to spread just like the others.

On the otherhand I did have a great time with friends at a halloween party, making things, running around in competitions hunting for things and a great fireworks party which is really part of the stuff I loved as a boy.

I did get out about here enjoying the fresh air and countryside dressed in short short trousers with temperatures down to four degrees in my dufflecoat and bobble hat which was very much how school winters always felt to me.

Our forum stayed busy with fresh people arriving and conversations aound all sorts of boyhood related topics and interests which was why it was set up - to be free by one basic rule - to discuss the whole including things as boys that  can't happen on more "adult" orientated sites.

Monday was a great day over at my parents for Christmas, clad in grey with blue stripped school uniform, sat crossed legged on the floor playing as my younger brother and spouse arrive, just looking like a schoolboy.

Openess like that to our families and the wider community is something we all can struggle with, for some having to agree to some restrictions but for just being the boy you are it's so worth it.

A pause in the conversation for Christmas

 

Things with the weather are at least improving in some ways, trading extreme cold the likes of which I don't recall ever experiencing for more rain and strong winds here which is kind of progress I guess.

Some of the postal backlog is being got through even if bits remain unaccounted for which as well given the things you may of been expecting at christmas.

Talking of which we will be pausing here as there'sa lot of activity with card and present swapping, things to be sorted and a bit of tidying up lest we have visitors drop in.

With that I'll wish everyone a Happy Christmas and all the best for 2023.

Holding hands

It may seem old but one of the most comforting things for me is holding hands. I like how you feel directly connected to me, how you're gonna care for me with all that freely given love.

It makes me feel loved and critically alive.

I suspect the England squad and their manager could well be needing that after Saturday's crashing out of the World Cup at the hands of France aided by a referee who seemed to ignore blatant fouls and was by common consent really out of his depth for such a important competition.

I felt in the main they performed well, perhaps a bit more engagement in the first half might of helped but you have to remember France is the Worlds current best side with Mbappé an exceptional player and in some respects we were unfortunate to face them in the quarter finals first

Reflective post

Here we go, making a bit of a milestone post on this blog which in some ways is the "oddball" blog of the stable that's been around since mid 2017 when things were very much different  than they are now never mind how things were just two years ago for all of us.

We might as well start somewhere and say this blog is for people who do identify as boys at least mainly as distinct from men even if, like many of us you have to do a bit of "adulting" in the workplace, compromising within adult relationships to make things work.

If you look at that, see yourself in him and see you as very much him now, you certainly belong here even if you might wear a skirt or dress the odd time because for all that you see yourself as that boy.

This blog talks though various things - its why Boys Talk is in the title - whither it's to do with play, how we may present, various issues in life and a bit to do with interests from boyhood.

It's the conversations we'd have walking back from school, in the locker room, making our way to scouts  or the local library, boy to boy.

Sometimes it's light hearted in nature, sometimes it's about finding your boyish spot in a adult world, sometimes it gets serious cos sadly somethings are in a form less likely to go than places like Tumblr or on Tapatalk or allowing a bit more frank expression than they do.

We should pause just after next weeks edition cos I need to to play my part in making family Crimbo with my family - yes doing what they tell me! - as that boy and things get busy her in the week and a bit before the day.

Here's to the next batch of issues!

Words best not said

We appear to be going through a period at one site where people seem to be more interested in pursuing agendas  than just saying what there own experiences are.

I've seen this at a particular music based site before where certain members who see themselves as followers of its owner talking in a ultra uber "Our Host said" way as if they were some music engineering diety, whose approach cannot be questioned.

One has a personal site devoted to this individual with lots of photos of them and in over 15 years I have seen him always without exception pile on any other audio mastering engineers work and labels they work for as if no one ever could do a good job and this other person never made a mistake at all.

Personally I'm not into Cults of Personality having bought a good number of records and cds over the years including those issues targeted at people with hifi system looking for the best available copy of an album.

Good people can and do make mistakes and even if they don't another person may of improved upon previous attempts so the most sensible approach is to just listen to them and set out why you favour one rather than the other.

Others promote very old copies of cds that just do not play well with modern cd players as they lack the ability to reliably tell if some older discs where the high notes were boosted and a signal to switch a circuit in the play to correct it that helped some very early players.

If they get that wrong they sound "tinny" and you can't manually switch it over so a really good modern copy without that makes sense for people in that situation.

Similar some older records were made to louder because some like a more "in your face" presentation where the actual recording may have a more subtle dynamic sound and that is what a new copy is trying to give people.

That can when matched with improved detail make for a much more enjoyable copy to sit and listen to rather than perhaps bopping along on the dance floor.

Ultimately it's really about what you feel makes for a great listening session with your favourite recordings and why these other people and labels have given you a new version.

Sometimes a new "flavour" of an old favourite really does it for you.

Roadmaps?

It's kind of funny how it is you find the inspiration you need  when and where you may least expect it such as this drawing by TheLatestKate on Tumblr.

Tumblr is a funny place in that all manner of things can be found on there, sometimes original texts or as in this instance art amongst a vast forest of straight reblogging of everyone elses so sometimes you see the same thing several times over not helped by encourage people to reblog things that may not even be their own just because someone got there first.

But actually, to get back the post itself,  when I first started this blog and got on a few sites sites way back when, truly I had no real idea of where everything would lead, never mind the series of connections and roundabouts I'd go through tryin' to figure it what was I was and what it was I wanted and needed.

Today I have more of an idea where I am at and how that can fit in with others because you don't have to become in effect someone else to fit into any group or especially take part in an activity because everyone is different, unique, hey even by the next guys standard "wierd".

I may like to wear my uniform under a dufflecoat and enjoy jumping in puddles just like I did way back then but I don't have to do what you might like  and that's okay.

We all have the right to be us having things in common and things different than everyone else.

Self control and getting better

Sometimes it can seem as if the easiest of things proves to be the hardest to actually achieve and this last week or so recovering is rather like that because it involves judgments about how long to rest things and when to start some graded exercise to build strength back up again as this was a bit more serious than I had anticipated.

I also had to recall I had faced similar challenges earlier in my life and managed it so was the problem more an over emphasis on permanency of injuries and fear of moving on from this incident?

The best inspiration for me is at my own level.

If boys can get up, work on improving matters and still be physically and socially active then really there is no reason I ought not to try and that is where we are at having taking time to walk about a mile and half pausing as necessary on Monday which is an improvement.

This, I feel contains quite a lot the truth for me personally and maybe a good number of you too. 

For all my real life problems and disabilities, I do have enough control over my thoughts and actions to exercise appropriate choices but I don’t and that put simply is why discipline makes sense. 

It’s to move me toward doing what I’m capable of and ultimately have self discipline kicking in straight off.

Middle bedrooms

A big chunk of the other blog is more around the life of a Middle while this looks at the other aspects of being a middle with a littleside but given the connectedness a post around it is justified.

The bedroom of a Middle I feel should be as close to that of a Tween or younger teen as possible not necessarily tradition in it's furnishings but true to original intent of being his place of rest and sleep, away from the buzz of daytime.

It should be very much an expression of his boyish innocence with cute simple bedding with matching curtains and lightshades with just what he needs to get his sleep in and nothing more being free from techo attractions calling him as he lies in bed.

There will be shelving for his plushies, teddies and figures that are not in his bed or positioned on his chair as well as his books with a small rack for current comics that he reads by himself with a small angle light.

One thing there will not be is a place for his mobilephone or netbook to be resting because there would be a house rule they are to left well away in the front room.

You may restrict other technology such as audio or tv stuff  preferring him to share with others and view with you to help keep a close shared bond alive rather than have retreat to a inner world avoiding conversation.

There will be a wardrobe with enough space to hang his clothes including her uniform properly on hangers with space for shoes and slippers and draws for his underwear in addition to the cute pj's you'll put her in like the Middle with little side he is.

The overall feel will be light and airy with lots of space to play in and walk along with ease across the whole room.

You will have rules about keep it tidy being prepared to work with him on keeping them.

Halloween thoughts

'Tis only one thing that I feel is appropriate for this blog around this time of year and that be celebrating halloween as that wobberly on foot but no scardedycat  boy with friends. 

Dressing up for the evening, covering everywhere with giant spiders, webs, bats and life sized ghosts to spook less brave hearts that might of tagged along with us hidden in dark corners.

Carving a pumpkin, getting covered in gunge, trying not to saw bits of you off, it might not of been a tradition of your past but is one you can embrace as that modern eternal boy.

After all didn't you just love stuff like this anyway?

A finale that you definately remember, replete with sparklers you had fun with, the bonfire and fireworks that roared and boomed in glistening colours was your joy around Guy Fawkes Night be at cubs, the corporation display or with your siblings and cousins at home.

You felt alive as that little boy in his short trousers watching the catherine wheels spin and amazing stars dancing all around you and today you still do.

I love being a little boy.

Spooky edition

 As I'm feeling a bit yukky from my Covid booster, thoughts turn to this weekend as the season of spooky fun comes before us as much as how we did things in the past was a bit different not just for us being more focused on things connected more with All Hallows but for being more private.

In 1974 few of us would of expected to see such huge displays outside each others houses that needed ladders to be put up safely nor would we of had the vast array of them available to buy ready made.

Back then most things would of been hand made from scraps or other repurposed items and events were more about games we'd play, taking turns.

Still in an uncertain and at least over here somewhat chaotic adult world, boy and girls are puching that to one side and having fun and that is the main thing.

Structure: the challenge

 Another week after the last ten days of grown up turbulance and general crazyness as I spin a copy of the HITS 3 compilation with hits from Summer and mid Autumn of 1985 with a few relective bits.

I'm a lively subject hopping sort who could introduce a talk about one thing and divert a couple of times as that interests me more or go to do one thing, start two others and finally do the fourth.

I've always been this way probably with having the combination of autism and adhd, concentration isn't one of my strong points, getting bored and antsy quickly so people mithering about structure are likely to be ignored or reacted against strongly.

Yet it is the case that sometimes at least you need a modicum of it just to see you cover all your needs in the course of a week, such as buying domestic things, responding to communications and seeing people such as doctors.

Running a forum isn't easy for some of us, and with that from time to time we can have struggles with things being posted anywhere or new threads started where they really is little need and just a different entry on a common topic would be better served within an existing thread than another.

That's apart from people who get themselves banned which is rare and try to reinvent themselves with new back stories but their past just seeps out like a leaking jug and the cycle continues.

18 plus and....

Prompted a bit from conversations elsewhere, there are a number things I do feel like talking about this week.

Firstly the tendency in age regression communities to have Do Not Interact (if) limits based on age such as "Do not interact if over 21" or in some instances 18 even which given everybody is being more like a child seems very birth age discriminatory given such groups are strictly safe for work if not "child safe" as your inner child has its vulnerbilities.

The other is the presumption every over 18 is not vulnerable and may be a threat to under 18's when a number of us have in real life diagnosed conditions that do mean we can be taken advantage of when it comes to financial, sexual or other forms of abuse.

It isn't even unknown for some adults to be taken advantage of by what in Law are Minors and yet all too often they are believe from the get go and we struggle to get it into "Plod's" head there frankly is little difference between ourselves and them.

In reality we're only over eighteen on the basis of birth date  and everything else is off.

Audiophile vs Analogphiles

 After last weeks more introspective blog entry I am looking at a different topic this week as the rumbles of a great unmasking in July continue to make themselves heard.

The casual music fan who visits a record stores cannot help but notice the resergence of the vinyl record, specifically the twelve inch "long player" in recent years from when it was almost phased out with perhaps a few bins in a dark corner where a very limited promotional copy of a couple of thousand world wide might reside to where a sizable amount of the store has been devoted to it complete with seperate artist and genres per rack.

For some that's where it ends.

You see a record by your favourite artist, you look the cover over before taking it to the sales desk, hand over your credit card and there it is in a bag to play when you get home.

That's if you haven't ordered it online from Diverse Vinyl, HMV or Amazon in which instance it arrives to your door.

For some there are other things especially when it comes to re-issues of older, "classic" titles such as what source did they use cut the record from, was it the actual assembled stereo mixes mixed down from multitrack session tapes, a copy of them a generation or so removed, a digital copy of that and how does anyone know what they are getting is from a good sounding source?

One thing complicates it some record labels such as Sony seldom if ever now allow the actual tape to leave their own vaults either making a tape copy or sending a digital file to use the team mastering cutting the new version of the record.

This at at the core of dispute in the audio community where generally most people saw themselves as more "Audiophiles" - people who like to hear a recording sound the best it can and spend time setting their own systems to enable that in their homes.

For them the only thing that matters is when comparing them is which sounds the best.

Increasingly a subset of them appear to formed a view that when a recording was made on analogue tape only a tape should be used to cut it even if may be a copy and if it might benefit from some work that can only happen in the digital demain.

They even feel there is no benefit at all in making a record from a digital recording.

No form of preserving through copying produces an exact perfect copy this may be tape or it may be high resolution digital which if even regarded as perfect enough can only store what the playback from the tape produced.

I regard the position of these analog-philes really extreme as really what does matter is which system for each recording delivers the best possible results.

Facing reality

However I may look at it, the events of 2006/7 were very much where much of this whole realization of who I was and where things had began to unravel at a rate of knots came from.

From my early teens (so-called) I had felt pushed in to appearing to be mature not so much in behaviour which was and is still is very much less than but more by taking an interest in adult things that gave people the impression I had that sophistication that when matched by a more preppy look, allowed me to mask the real me.

In a lot of ways I was role playing, actually, pretending to be this urbane font of philosophical and political knowledge to the point of studying subjects around it because it seemed to gave me a place the grown up world could accept to the point I joined their organizations and adapted of sorts to their structures.

In time that would lead me to being directly involved in current affairs, even taking a central role within one organization so while other aspects of my life were not going so well on the face of it this seemed okay.

What started off as a great idea turned very much into a monster very quickly because in all of this, the masking lead me to ignore who I was and the very thing that I was discourage from accepting, that I lacked the one necessary thing to do it: An adult sense of self.

Chunks of what ended up as a severe nervous breakdown were rooted in areas such as being given roles to perform by people while wanting them to be filled and to be seen as an authority of fulfilling them  but without their own involvement. 

Critical meetings were missed due to too many other events and having no proper cover, not only had they not been attended and from that having lost our say, when I did attend I was left to defend why when we said someone was, nobody did.

The bigger thing in all this was for all that outward sophistication, I lacked the abilities of a adult to cope emotionally in this environment, not having the resilience, I struggled to read agendas with notes and follow meetings and could not relate to the others as adults simply because I wasn't one. 

I might as well as been a 13 year old in debating society, looking for the adults to oversee it.

It didn't take long before I was on leave because my nerves had gone, I struggled to get through a day even at work without crying and if I did attend a meeting I just froze over like an ice block.

That's when it really hit home about being me.

I AM A CHILD WHO'S AGE IS JUST OLDER BY THE CALENDAR, THAT'S ALL.

This was the point here I had to slowly put away that masked version and learn to live again as the child I am rediscovering play, dressing and acting more like my real younger self, finding out more about others who do similar things.

Going forward

 Funny week in a lot of ways as we come out of Mourning and thoughts turn to happier things.

B-B-Q's and camp fires are amongst mine, from helping out as much as you can to toasting your marshmallows over a camp fire in person as you sing songs together.

Of course there can be that battle with our galliant competitors, the Wasp and the neighbouring dog who has plans for your sausages but to me that always was a great magical moment from childhood and a pick me up of that sort is something I certainly use.

A reflection on events around Her Majesty Elizabeth IInd death

 It goes without saying there is only one thing on my mind right now.

This is a series of reflections I wrote elsewhere, tidied up a bit, that I wish to share more openly.

The day had began as one would normally of expected but getting up and putting on the television it became apparent all was not well with Her Majesty with troubling reports that seemed to go beyond her sadly not unfamilar walking difficulties.

The first I realized the potential gravity of her announced missing of a Zoom Privy Council meeting due to being unwell was when I saw on the news, her grandchildren had paid a visit as, if you've ever been in such a situation this only tends to happen if you may not survive any treatments, being seen as slowly dying.

Some people get wrapped up in all that constitutional stuff and as Head of State she has some important roles in the same way in the Anglican Church she does as its head but at heart of all of this is a remarkable woman who is the head of a family.

A family we grew up with in our lives, cutting out pictures, following their lives that you may of met.

They were the Nations family and as the constitutional things pan out with our new King, Charles III on the Proclaimed on Saturday with a Coronation due at some point it is time to give thanks for what she did, the causes and organizations like scouting she supported so well.

In taking his Oath and the Vows, I feel King Charles III has undertaken to follow along the same lines as his mother although naturally he will add his own touches to it and so the cycle continues.

The importance of Bonds

 

Sometimes I mention it, othertimes not but to me being in the most challenging settings as a team with a specific goal brings out an important topic which is the extent to which we show empathy with and support each other.

A sense of empathy that causes us to reach to each other as one, the espirt de corps,out of that love, that deep sense that we care for all of us that we'd share all we had as one is something that I feel is a hallmark of a more masculine sense of caring.

It is in so many ways the feeling of brotherly love to forgo your comfort, offer you time to another that you find in things such as the emergency services, armed services, in my parents generation down the pit apart from in bodies such as Scouting.

People are not just aquantances but almost family to us and as that unit we have this bond to do all we can for each other out of love.

Post 300ish

 

It is the last week of the Hols, as everyone goes back Monday for Autumn Term so the last minute dashing about for school uniform and stationery rumbles on.

I mean can you ever have enough spare pens and pencils?

It also is just over the Three Hundreth edition of Chris's Boy Talk which started in 2017 which with my maths makes it five years old where we talk about anything and everything broadly connected to boyhood, personal and general.

Like the other blogs, part of the reason it exist at all stems from issues on Tumblr where posting anything that goes against their values and that of some communities is likely to see your account zapped so having somewhere I can just set them out does help not that sometimes you have to be a bit mindful even with Blogger.

I've talked about the issues of uniform, contemporary issues like having to fight for the right to wear short trousers (although they'll let you wear skirts!!!), quality and also about how as adult little boys we like to wear uniform and some of the issues you might encounter with the odd person or two.

I have written at times quite passonately about what I see as our right to be our masculine selves as we see it where sometimes the needs of boys are ignored in a largely outdated battle between the interests of females and males.

No one would argue to discriminate when it comes to employment, opportunities and so girls and women is right but that doesn't mean males need to be more female even if being a bit less competitive and spending more time on raising families not least the next generation of boys is needed.

Females need males, boys and men who are trust worthy, who do what they say and say what they do who will stand up for their rights while being the males they are with their own support mechanisms and yes even spaces for them alone, just as women have. They need a stake in society too.

They also need to let men get on on with their role in raising boys where they have the advantage of having had the life and know their strengths and the pitfalls that boys experience that no woman can ever have any more than Father knows about being a girl. 

Women are the best by actual experience at that so are best entrusted to look after daughters.

It is why it tends to work better for their to be youth organizations that deal with each sex lead more by leaders who are adults of their own sex even if we co-operate and share facilities plus events.

Because this  blog is written by a Little I have written about and around topics connected with the wider Littles Community whatever you may personally do within that life and with no criticism of those who may do things that others don't.

The great uniform debate 2022 style

 

Another summer as no doubt parents are considering all those back to school signs we see on the high street and there is much talk about the cost of school uniform.

One BBC Radio Presenter even suggested we should scrap uniform altogther because of its expense.

My main issue with scrapping uniform is that in the absence thereof, the well off children will come in casual highly branded attire which pretty much rubs it in the faces of those less well off their dire home situations where they may struggle to afford thirty to forty pound sweatshirts or hoodies, the latest trainers and so on.

Some school uniform is expensive and I would question if everything near enough has to be branded and why blazers with sow on badges wouldn't be more affordable but the idea uniform disadvantages the least well off is one I struggle with.

Clearly some families are struggling and proper funding for a uniform grant across the whole of England would help the least well off who currently have to make do with refurbished uniform or hand me downs.

In the meantime a descrete word to the Head of Year explaining your situation may make sense as uniform often isn't the only area some children struggle with, school dinners and trips often are so a word may lead to some advice or agreed relaxation until you are able to fit within uniform rules.

Sorting out terms

It's been a very hot week with temperatures upto 34.4 degrees C making doing anything rather a chore.

Terms can be hard to understand at times and people have sometimes asked about what ALB means and where it all fits in.

This is my easy to understand version.

ALB is the abbreviation for Adult Little Boy. You could say it's more or less the same thing as adult schoolboy but not as centred on Uniform  and school rituals of various sorts.

Think of things this way first time around: He's a boy obviously and has a social life at home, around his friends and various things he is involved in like sports or cubs.

That's one side of his life.

Because he is a boy and is now say over four years, he is now old enough to attend school where apart from learning things (hopefully) he also has a life in school activities and play in the playground.

The fact he goes to school makes him a school boy but he's also a boy maybe a little boy too.

Taking this forward the adult little boy is an (legal) adult who feels he has much of that little boy in him engaging in similar interests.

An adult schoolboy is that same adult little boy who has an interest in his (past) school life.

He wears school uniform, may do some studying similar to what he did and some may attend  recreated school type sessions where he is a pupil and person is playing a teacher/headmaster.

We alternate between the two sides because that makes us the whole person.

Hol thoughts

Warm start day here as I adapt to being a schooboy on holiday.

 At the start of the month it was announced Bernard Cribbins died who was major part of our childhood.

Born in Oldham, Lancashire he got into acting at the age of fourteen, then like many was called up during WW2 in the parachute regiment before resuming.

Purposely I'm ignoring the  the grown up acting he did such as the Carry On films and leap to one of several comedy records he recorded for EMI produced by the legend that was Sir George Martin whose UK Label Parlophone had dance band music and comedy such as The Goons before an infectious Liverpool foursome called Beatles kickstarted the British Invasion.

Over here this was one of the staples of the children's requests show Junior Choice for many years together with Right Said Fred that I loved listening to at weekends as a boy.

Doctor Who is a BBC TV series that is a global sensation with a long history that was popular with children and he took part twice in it.

With the Daleks in 1964

With David Tennant in more recent times.

The Wombles were environmentally friendly superstars in the 1970's and returned in more recent years and he provided the all the voices for the 1973/5 series by Elisabeth Berrisford.

They were filmed by Filmfair in stop motion by Ivor Wood and Barry Leith who gave us many more favourite cartoons such as Ivor The Engine that we saw on the BBC back then.

In Britain, he was a staple of that much missed BBC show Jackanory where across several days leading actors and actresses read stories with vocalization to children.

Here he is as one of the actors tackling J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit in 1976.

Measurement

Things are different than where they were at the start of this whole adventure several years back when things were more in a loop, exploring getting so far and stepping back and when I rather assumed it was all about the clothes.

Well, the clothes were definately in there but since then I can see it's connected more to things such as roles, how I see me in my own mind and how certain medical conditions and boyhood incidents leave me.

That washing line may as well be mine with shorter than most modern boys short trousers, long socks , white or grey shirts and white y fronts all very much on display to the world sending a clear signal a traditional school boy lives here whatever age officially may be recorded and often is seen about in public as one.

It's really more about accepting and being your authentic self on a daily basis, not feeling you have to put on an act for the benefit of others that just makes you feel quite sad as if they cannot accept the real you.

I just feel so much better now.

Lending a hand

 

There is much going on but one thing here has been been an attempt to establish a War Memorial as the original for the district is a few miles away and since the  British Legion branch that held events has merged into a completely different area those things haven't happened here.

The idea is we would hold our own and that locals can pay their own respect to the dead which has support from the local scouts.

Part of getting this off the ground is both fundraising and also getting people to write in support of the idea to the local authority so to that end I have been spending time delivering leaflets on foot to people.

Having been asked if I'd be interested I just did my duty and got the task done to the best of my ability despite things like building works making access difficult and letterboxes with insect laden flowers just above your them to dodge the wasps with.

I rose to the challenge.

An authoritive voice

This week we are going to talk about something that's in one sense a bit removed from what this blog usually talks about but elements do connect with it.

You may of noticed I do like music and that does extend to buying vinyl records, some older used copies and others new either new albums or high quality re-issues from companies that specialize in that.

For the last ten days or so there has been a burning controversy on a music forum and on you tube channels devoted to audio issues concerning one labels product which is quite expensive at around $125 which rather than growing a number of new stampers requires laquers to be individually cut and can only used a few times rather than what has been used for decades

The argument runs by missing out this step you get lower noise and and more precise sound as pressing records has a lot of parallels with using moulds to stamp out plastic items.

This issue blew up because a planned release at years end  for the 40th anniversary of Michael Jackson's Thriller album had a stated 40,000 copies which could not be done especially when they claim to cut each laquer directly from the master.

Again traditionally in the days when any title could sell ten to twenty thousand copies per week an intermediate tape copy was used for that and the quality was such you'd struggle to hear any difference.

Doing this or using a digital copy to generate one is what is being alleged and it is also true to say a number of major labels such as Sony regularly refuse to let out the actual master tapes supplying only 1:1 tape copies or high resolution digital files.

The shocking thing all this is firstly the failure to respond at all to being asked exactly what they do use just tossing out a statement to say the endeavour to produce the very best records they can as if customers who spend a lot of money on these things do not matter.

The other is the lack of transparency in all the material they do put out hinting at mastertapes even though some titles were recorded digitally just saying they were sourced from them not addressing the question of how they cut these.

Getting back to top of this peice it's less about the product, many of which do sound great but just the seeming inability to show intrigrity and come clean.

That's all lots of audio fans are asking for.

Finding our tribe

Your 'tribes' can often be described as your people, the group of individuals you connect with. It can be a collection of friends from the past or you may find these groups of people at work or whilst doing hobbies. They are people who you resonate and connect with straight away and didn't expect to.

There are some steps we can take to find our tribe.

Do some self-reflection. The first step to knowing what kind of relationships you want to build is to learn about yourself. ...

Try new things. ...

Attend meetups. ...

Ditch judgement. ...

Know when to commit. ...

Call out to your tribe. ...

Be the first to reach out. ...

Love yourself.

Okay but you may well be asking how do I know when I have as many of us call recall devoting heaps of effort into fitting in with one clique or other at school and that wasn't so satisfying.

The things I feel you would notice when you've found your own tribe are:

They encourage you to be yourself. Good friends don't want you to be just like them; they want you to be just like you. ...

They encourage you to be honest. ...

They give you space to make mistakes. ...

Through thick and thin. ...

Your friends encourage you to grow.

Those were the things typically we got wrong back then or we may of failed to provide for our friends as they grew to be themselves.

My tribes certain included Boys as they were are socially the gender group I resonate with the group only us could have life experiences in common with.

At peace with the world

Just about two weeks to go before Summer Hols when school is out at least in this district, this time of year always has those still in the past pulls with me when we'd consolidate this form years work - and back then it was work or else! - while you'd be looking forward to your next stages learning more  about things as we move along.

Then you might be moving to either a different part of school or even a new school depending on your age.

The thing with me was all my classmates were getting older when it came to their interests and general development as boys leaving me behind because while the odd interest and some academic abilities may of grown, on the whole I hadn't.

I was the "youngest" in the class and as they got older the gap just got bigger and bigger.

Learning to accept you are not except in purely legal terms a functioning adult has taken time, to work on unmasking the real you as just trying to pretend  to be an adult male took so much from me and feel comfortable about being called "young man" by men who however imperfectly do at least sense you don't relate as adult to adult as frankly at no point have I ever seen myself as one has been one of big achievements in the last few years.

I'm just a young boy whose been around the sun more than most while being substancially the same.

Lessons for today

 There is something very magical in watching this gif from the Christopher Robin film a few years back where he talks with Winnie the Pooh his bear in its emotional honesty sharing his innermost thoughts, trusting him totally.

It takes me back to around his age in so many ways where we did let it all out in an age where stoicism was more the approved thing in boys which in insolation I feel did is no real good at all as we never really processed our emotions and considered them as part of how we responded to situations whither or not it was about us and our families or that of our mates.

It's also the feeling of trust and empathy for one another whatever might be happening, that we do look after each other through the good and bad things that happen in that time.

Talks

There are a number of things I do feel like talking about although it wasn't the best start to the week when it comes to being well.

The first is usually on things like blogs and social media sites you have spaces for profiles that give a space for some background information about yourself and to mention anything that people really need to pay attention to.

One is with me I find chatting literally painful because my hands were damaged in the early nineteen nineties and I struggle with writing, eating and getting dressed so generally I don't tend to do extended informal one on one chat.

The other is more about limits as I find some topics very painful emotional such as emotional, physical and sexual abuse to the point they are triggering and also don't care much for "forced feminization" and associated topics because the start point is a dismissive atttitude to being a male that sets out to redicule by making them like like a parody of a girl with little say in anything.

One topic sometimes people do get me wrong on allied to this is that I have something against boys and men who for whatever reason like sometimes to wear a skirt or a dress who don't see themselves as girls/women.

I may not necessarily get it but if you do and I know some who like dressing more like a school girl in a rather traditional uniform then I'm fine with it.

The bottom line is I respect your right to be you as much as I have to be respected as a fairly traditional adult little boy who wears boys uniform because we're still boys whatever we are wearing.

Going back to roots

Going back to my roots a bit across the weekend I was very much in my element playing with some young boys with family.

For one thing I did not look grown up, just a traditional grey school shirt, blue and off white tie, six inch inside leg grey school shorts and grey turn over top socks where everyone else was an adult including people younger than me (by age).

In some way it was a more modern form of Best for family occassions where I was the boy with his parents present.

Arriving, the boys were already playing in partitioned corner of  the diner with a thomas and percy train set which was of the sort that has no controller but just a battery in each engine with a switch that having put it on the track  and coupled anything to it, it just runs.

Between them they had the trains chasing each other as as I played and did a older boy supervision thing with them on the floor being quite content to play and leave the grown ups to their own talk.

It may of been someone elses birthday, but I was just happy to engaged playing with boys rather than struggling which isn't helped by my autism at doing the grown up thing so actually it did me a lot of good just to jump in and play with them.

It was the best family social interaction I'd had in years.

Noddy and I

Today I'm going to write something a bit different to what I normally do on this blog as generally I don't write much about books, especially book series I never had that much to do with but in a way actually it ties in rather well.

Enid Blyton it has to be said wrote a good number of the books that featured in my childhood not least the period around ten to sixteen years before people started pushing more 'adults' reading at me even if this series and its central character wasn't one I read much never mind collected.

Noddy is a very interesting character, living in a world known as Toyland, being made from wood and styled as an perfect naughty little boy often getting in trouble with PC Plod having an Uncle Big-Ears who was a parent figure.

The significance of this rests really on what adult wisdom cannot get and children do which is in reality although Noddy is actually (in law) an adult, is able to own and drive a motor car in many other ways he is not, he is very much a young boy having that kind of an outlook, not really responsible, lacking the awareness of what he'd be expect to know. He may be portrayed as a child but isn't.

In some respects then, to me he's a poster child of a person exhibiting a developmental order is like adult (legally) but child (developmentally).

He's got a inflated view of his abilities which may be more from having to 'pass' for an adult but as when challenged by Big Ears his father like figure points out, really he's not and if he'd been educated he'd see that but he hasn't and amongst other things, cannot count beyond twenty.

It's that which the subject of this book, the only one I bought with my own money, which is when it is he goes to school with the young children which you can in Toyland.

He has no idea of what what Miss Rap, his teacher means when she asks him if he knows his tables. Equally when asked to write on the chalkboard one thing he likes to eat he writes his own name because that's all he knows to write which annoys Miss Rap and all the other children laugh at him.

When you have a developmental disability, life especially in school can be like this as you're not functioning at the same level as the others, you have a defensiveness that can soon spill over to defiance, you tend to be very impulsive not concentrating and you don't always help yourself.

Noddy going to school ends with Noddy having learned some lessons, however painful about life having learned some social skills and taking part in a school concert.

I see a connection here in  me having to go back to learning what I struggled with both academically, where the story does extol the virtues of hard work, putting ones mind to things and also when it comes to how you relate and behave where Noddy is sent to the corner and when his friend Gilbert Golly after misbehaving is ordered to bring Miss Rap the slipper hanging on the wall.

Put simply I had to realize what I did  not know, having a sense of humility to seek out what I needed rather than allowing the trappings (for Noddy his car, for me, certain roles) to blind me to my true needs and address the attitudes I had that made my life worse than it needed to be.

Noddy needed his corner time, Gilbert needed that reminder even when it has put on hold until the very next time he was going to get a spanking.

I needed someone who was going to be strict with me so I worked to my full potential, being prepared to practise a lot  and given the difficulty I have in dealing with more complex ways of trying to change my behaviour, as that adult but child I needed spanking in the same way.

The bigger part of this life really isn't boot camp frankly, it's really more about having the environment that better suits your needs right down to being able to play on the floor with your teddies and toy cars even to the point you may now have a collection you just play with rather than just keeping behind glass or on shelves.

You just accept yourself as you are, a physically bigger little boy.

Boyhood audio

Things from the past this week.

As soon as I was able to get past the AM and stereo Record home made stereo with a main unit with turntable, radio amp and speaker in on main unit and right speaker I'd had since the age of nine to the world of separates I did normally involving either second hand or handed down components.

By about the age of fourteen I'd actually had a set up rather like this, a Goldring-Lenco turntable  with an Audio Technica arm fitted, a "home brew" phono preamp which went into my Rodgers Cadet II tubed (UK: Valved) matching control unit and power amplifier.

I had a small Realistic (the Radio Shack/Tandy own brand) FM Stereo and AM radio tuner which was suprisingly good for the modest cost to listen to Radio Three, Two in high quality stereo and One for Pop programs in mono

The amplifier had a relative small foot print unlike most even allowing for its power and output transformers and a Din socket at the front for connection to a tape unit such as originally my ITT Studio 73 portable stereo cassette recorder used at boarding school and later the Narional Panasonic RS600 US home deck.

By the mid 1980's that was supplemented by a Toshiba cd player as many important classical recordings became cd and tape only.

Sadly while ungergoing repair work the amplifer went in a freak shed fire on February 28th 1998.

For me that early hifi seperates part restored from second hand units was really more about having the means of exploring and appreciating music from the pops of the day to getting past the major classical works building up collections, the bulk of which remain with my current system from discovering Elvis Costello and Ian Dury to Mozart String Quartets.