Going back to roots

Going back to my roots a bit across the weekend I was very much in my element playing with some young boys with family.

For one thing I did not look grown up, just a traditional grey school shirt, blue and off white tie, six inch inside leg grey school shorts and grey turn over top socks where everyone else was an adult including people younger than me (by age).

In some way it was a more modern form of Best for family occassions where I was the boy with his parents present.

Arriving, the boys were already playing in partitioned corner of  the diner with a thomas and percy train set which was of the sort that has no controller but just a battery in each engine with a switch that having put it on the track  and coupled anything to it, it just runs.

Between them they had the trains chasing each other as as I played and did a older boy supervision thing with them on the floor being quite content to play and leave the grown ups to their own talk.

It may of been someone elses birthday, but I was just happy to engaged playing with boys rather than struggling which isn't helped by my autism at doing the grown up thing so actually it did me a lot of good just to jump in and play with them.

It was the best family social interaction I'd had in years.

Careful!

The pouty look personified for  boy who may of had a bad day or is just fed up of being messed about by the grown ups which I can easily understand as you're sat waiting to let in with your case.
I rather suspect if he was anything like myself he's going to end up with at least the threat of a spanking for it if he doesn't stop on a count of three seconds as it isn't looking good.

Masculine mental health

Because I and this blog is unshakably pro male supporting those things that we excel in doesn't mean to say everything in the world of boys is always right and critically because you are experiencing them does not make you any less a male for all that.

There are problems around body self image that effect some boys, worrying increasingly so that lead into issues around anorexia and self harming that may be connected to impossibly unrealistic images of men shown in advertising and 'gym club culture'.

We don't all get a 'perfect' six pack.

Something like one man in nine is abused in intimate relationships by women, many boys are intimidated and bullied by men who are trying to live their own lives through their sons  in sports, careers and religious observance and some women in positions of power routinely put down boys and men in front of their peers.

Abuse need not be physical, indeed abuse by girls and women on males can take the form of mental or psychological cruelty.

As boys and men we can be sexually abused by either men in homosexual relationships or by women and girls so a man or boy can and sadly is raped.

As men and boys we need to support each other dealing with these challenges, listen, reflect and advise where we can.

A boy or man who comes out to his mates about his challenges isn't soft or making a fuss about nothing, he is talking about the pain he feels.

A guy who has the Balls to come out with it has got more guts than any who just passes it off as if it never happened  and is very much a Real Man for it because by doing so he's enabling himself to receive the support he needs to work on how he's effected  and take control of its outcome.

He is a real man, a bloke and we will stand by him.

Being me

Within the world of me there's a place for things to play with from the traditional action centred toy to dolls.

Dolls! I hear you cry. Whaddymean Chris???

There is nothing wrong with me or any boy with dolls of itself at all because dolls are a representation of people in wax, cloth or plastic that we can use for imaginary play exploring situations, feelings or even looks.

Dolls don't have to be just for girls it's simply there have few dolls made specifically for boys that you can dress up or get accessories for so you can engage in boyish play with them excluding military dolls "action figures" in marketing speak such as G.I Joe or Action Man which I enjoyed playing with a lot with all the bits and bobs that went with it including new uniforms to dress them in.

A kind of a doll that isn't girlish or heavens above sissy would be a boy with a variety of different outfits such as school uniform, scout uniform, page boy, soccer strip or mountaineering with things like imitation desks, soccer pitches, cars and so on.

Something you could play exploring the roles of boys with, making adventures that are centred on the lives of 'real boys' in a masculine way.

One day we'll have boys toys that include this.