Time out

This week I'm away and all being well I should be back sometime today or possibly tomorrow just depending on how things work out.

Part of it about having a dedicated period of time to let my little side out in the presence of others so you can play with others interacting as much as you may wish to do a few things on your own.

The other part of it is that it is the anniversary of Mum's death so apart from the ups and downs of the last twelve months inevitably ones mind is taken back to those last couple of months and specifically the week this time last year.

I really feel I need not just to be doing something more benefitual to my own mental health than being sat brooding over it in ones chair but really to create a better new experience around the day that honoured what she would of wanted for me.

To continue in making a new life for myself and to continue being her little boy even in death.

Lending a hand

 

There is much going on but one thing here has been been an attempt to establish a War Memorial as the original for the district is a few miles away and since the  British Legion branch that held events has merged into a completely different area those things haven't happened here.

The idea is we would hold our own and that locals can pay their own respect to the dead which has support from the local scouts.

Part of getting this off the ground is both fundraising and also getting people to write in support of the idea to the local authority so to that end I have been spending time delivering leaflets on foot to people.

Having been asked if I'd be interested I just did my duty and got the task done to the best of my ability despite things like building works making access difficult and letterboxes with insect laden flowers just above your them to dodge the wasps with.

I rose to the challenge.

Finding our tribe

Your 'tribes' can often be described as your people, the group of individuals you connect with. It can be a collection of friends from the past or you may find these groups of people at work or whilst doing hobbies. They are people who you resonate and connect with straight away and didn't expect to.

There are some steps we can take to find our tribe.

Do some self-reflection. The first step to knowing what kind of relationships you want to build is to learn about yourself. ...

Try new things. ...

Attend meetups. ...

Ditch judgement. ...

Know when to commit. ...

Call out to your tribe. ...

Be the first to reach out. ...

Love yourself.

Okay but you may well be asking how do I know when I have as many of us call recall devoting heaps of effort into fitting in with one clique or other at school and that wasn't so satisfying.

The things I feel you would notice when you've found your own tribe are:

They encourage you to be yourself. Good friends don't want you to be just like them; they want you to be just like you. ...

They encourage you to be honest. ...

They give you space to make mistakes. ...

Through thick and thin. ...

Your friends encourage you to grow.

Those were the things typically we got wrong back then or we may of failed to provide for our friends as they grew to be themselves.

My tribes certain included Boys as they were are socially the gender group I resonate with the group only us could have life experiences in common with.

Going forward from where we are

After a series of posts that strayed more around sexuality than I'd normally go for on this blog I'd sooner get back to the mainstay of why and what this blog is really about which is about boyhood and the sense of being masculine you have. 

This is the second year of The Boy after realizing how unhappy and unsatisfactory being pushed toward a conception of me that had no place for owning a specific gender identity by people who questioned the idea and tried to deny me from holding on to one.

This blog is in part therefore documents and in itself is a part of that program of gender and sex recovery I am working through by looking back at my past life around Childhood, identifying those markers that were a part of how I saw me and reapplying them with an understanding of what I learned about myself as a gender.

This program is a work in progress but one in which progress is being made both in terms of feeling comfortable again psychologically with being regarded as male and addressed as one together with feeling comfortable with my body, owning and liking it.

Seeing it is the New Year it is not just time to reaffirm the journey I am on but also set some aims for it.

 Always present in a way that makes it clear cut what my gender and sex is even if in the odd context I may need to wear longs. At all other times I will wear shorts to show I am a boy.

Never hold from saying I am a male where the information is needed or a formal requirement such as on forms.

Politely correct any attempt to de-gender me by not using the correct pronouns or using titles such as ____person rather than _____man. As a male I have the right to be addressed as one.

If anyone misgenders me I will correct them every time to ensure  am referred to correctly as I have the right to be called by my gender.

If I am in a group where for any purpose we split along gender lines I will politely decline any offers to be with females and automatically go with males because I am one.

Things will move on his year