Mum approved return to LB?

Oh what a week of Drama we've had thankfully off forum but sadly closer to home where hometruths were spelt out but anyway and connected at one level to it is really more this post.

Everybody's childhood is different than each others and no doubt boyhood in the 1990's or 2000's was different than that of my own generation sandwiched between the late 1960's and 1970's which at times seems a foreign land today where red call boxes roamed the land as did boys on choppers and you'd all dash to back to see your favourite tv shows as there was no  video recorder never mind iPlayer back then.

See it or miss it, back then

Saturday mornings were Cartoon time not that we didn't have them in the weekdays such as those the BBC sandwiched between our programs and The News  for groan ups.

Cartoons might feature between two ot three hour shows depend on where you lived Tiswas for those of us in the Midlands from day one or SwapShop on BBC1 and between such programs too.

It didn't matter if they were a few years old, we enjoyed the Banana Splits, Josie and the Pussycats, Wacky Races and loads of Hanna-Barbara shows like the Flintstones.

Now it isn't so talked about but some Mothers really loved that stage in your life when you were their Little Boy keeping all sorts of reminders of those days, the things you made, badges you gained, even your  last surviving clothes before everyone said "You're a Big Boy now!" and she mentally took a tissue to her eye.

Just imagine if you will that situation as a fourteen or fifteen year old in a tearfully sentimental story how she loved those years she retrived those last grey school shorts and said "Let's see if they still fit" (subtext "Are you reall that much of a Big Boy?")

Most would be embarassed but I'd of had tears of joy for being allowed to be him at least when mum loved it.

In her last years she got to loved a short trouser dressed Little Boy me and on the anniversary of her death this all comes back.

Getting back and staying around

 

This last week was challenging for the sub zero temperatures overnight to the temperatures at zero during the day as we went about in my three inch inside leg grey short trousers, thick socks and textbook duffle coat looking and one might add feeling more like that boy who walked to the garage for his sweets and the mile to school down dark countrylanes.

I'm at one with this life.

This said sometimes I do feel some struggle with it as blogs get started, all guns blazing and then it either runs out of steam or gets taken down.

I did notice this morning (tuesday) a tumblr I had been following that looked back to boyhood past times had been deactivated as although I tend to post far less uniform related stuff on mine - it seems to cause issues - I did enjoy his posts and few others that were not unform related go marked as "potentially mature" which as a category I find confusing.

To me it is as the direction of the text, images or both ARE and obviously Tumblr has always been a sensitive soul when it comes to that or it isn't (although you may not like it in your stream.

Wither he was pushed or gave up I don't know but it is sad when sites go especially when their Ai tasteful images are clever free from some of the more troubling takes on this whole thing that some put out.

Just enjoy the new-old boyhood in the spirit you lived it.

Sense of place

Bit of a cool start to the week here, working through some troubling family issues I'd sooner keep off the internet in any form and in some respects we return to the notion of "Sense of place" which to be fair has been a pretty big feeling over the decades.

Structurally the usual thing was great grand parents, grandparents, older siblings and then you before getting to more recent additions that might of included a child of your own or that of cousins say 

We generally pay more respects to thoughts, feelings and advice of older people not least for having been around they've learned from mistakes and tend to have a good handle on how things work.

You might well of learned things even as a child drom them by they skills like fixing your bike to how to conduct your life and generally keep out of trouble.

Within my family however whatever the chronological age might be  I am  a "boy" within it which isn't that I may be asked and do contribute to family discussions such as that I referred to earlier on nontheless ultimately I yield to them.

They are the grown ups.

It comes into play where for instance I may make drinks for members who turn up  while they may be engaged in conversation and I may sit on the floor, offering up any seat I might ordinarily had been in.

The fact I am dressed as a  smart casual boy in their presents just adds to whole dynamics, a mature boy who can be trusted rather than sat by the table as an adult.

That is my sense of place within the family and wider community and I have to say it works better for me than pretending to be fully grown up.

The great sock debate

I guess we all carry a bit of the past around in us from earliest days at school, to perhaps going to secondary school, our first real job and so on but perhaps that's a barrier to understanding that today maybe things are different and even perhaps what was normal for even then wasn't necessarily the case for others.

For those of us of a certain age our first school told parents what if any the uniform policy was, some had more a dress code you were expected to keep within in, others a rigid uniform that had to bought and worn OR else!

By high school we saw the prospectus and what it had to say around that and maybe compared notes with mates who perhaps attended a different one to us.

Surprisingly school appeared to have a lot to say about socks, that they should be branded, the length and if they had to have a turn over top.

The bigger thing was colour and most specified grey or for high schools with long trousers, black was common.

On the otherhand girls tended to told they had to be white which somehow got translated into white socks are "girly" and by extension had no business being on any boy and some that still carries on in the world of the adult little boy/schoolboy .

What tends to be forgotten is often sports socks for boys were white as in this example having worn many a pair myself, often for things like Maypole Dancing you had white pumps and socks and even some football socks were.

White socks and wearing them doesn't make you a girl even if many of your peers may not and within the ASB/ALB field really isn't an issue, just being in little headspace is what matters.

The 1979 rebellion

Somehow after this weekend I feel about talking about one of the more important years in all of this life after playing games and that and really it was around the time I started getting back to being me.

The year had began as Rat Trap started it's climb down the charts, the pounding Y.M.C.A. was right at the top and I had on paper at least advanced two years on from formally being a teenager and music was a massive interest of mine to the point that record was a Birthday Present earlier in 1979.

The thing around that teenage period was that peoples idea of what you "really" were started to change, they tended to see you as less of that boy, being more serious, engaged with your O level studies at school, the many nudges around girls and careers to the point you felt you were pushed down one route.

But in lots of other ways things were similar like you read comics rather than life style or current affairs magazines, the very same ones you had when you were seen as that boy and you watched children's tv mostly.

As it was I was still being spanked (not that I minded, wordy lectures just confused the hell out of me so a sore bottom worked better at getting the point over) very much a child so it was a bit confusing really.

"It'll never happen" - I just love that Toots playing with her dolls or Teacher selling off his canes (as some of us ahem "know" ours didn't sell them off....) but there's a frame missing from that  and it should feature Dennis with a caption saying "He'll never get over ten" which would of been very apt for me.

Beyond the world of dressing you like a mini Dad and pushing you into men's spots really I just hated that whole thing because simply nine times out of ten I didn't feel teenaged at all - hardly having a teenaged life as such - just pushed into tight clammy denim jeans when not at school and as punk was in its ascendency 1979 was the year this battle came to its head so by the Summer hols I demanded (gosh!) shorts in public going around outdoor markets as the previous year I did still have a couple of pairs from two year before that fitted and I had had a growth spurt since then.

While I didn't gain what really wanted - tailored short trousers aka "School Shorts" - I did win having bought for me short sports shorts and an understanding that unless we were going anywhere that needed formal attire, I was to be dressed in shorts.

I looked like that one and half or two inch seems even!

That to me when the slow start towards extended boyhood just respecting the existance of legal age and any conseqences and I started then to look into getting new formal short trousers as the formal school days edged out.

Of velvet and its allure

Bit of a damp coolish day as I type this and I'm think a bit of older classic ways of dressing  such as cord shorts which were preffered in some Prep schools for being more hard wearing but also fitted in with Play, something you might change into after lessons or upon coming home and guzzling some pop.

That was more like the kind of thing and a year a half back I had commisioned although mine were more 5 inch inside leg which was a bit longe than what was normal when I was around twelve.

Practical and hard wearing.

For some reason Velvet and even colours associated with velvet tend to have a image problem in the UK being looked on as either namby-pamby, old-fashioned or shades of "Little Lord Fauntleroy but it need not be.

For instance you could have olive or gold velvet short trousers which with draw string and generous pockets does lend itself as much for play except of the roughest kind as just casual attire.

Browns do work too and this more traditional dress cut styled pair might well work  as would dark blue and what is wrong with shorter inside legs so long as they're decent .

Teemed with suitable socks which I know white historically had an image issue but does go well why shouldn't the modern adult little boy not wear something like this if that is him?

Uniform - getting it without breaking the bank

 It's June and hardly flaming here as it keeps going dullish and then sunny with temperatures around 14 to 17 but damp feeling having been up gettting the oatcakes this morning (Staffordshire, NEVER Derbyshire!).

Something people do talk about is uniform and I don't feel rehashing posts about whole looks and all that but more around the business of getting yours and any more play clothes as you may not either have any or being delicate, perhaps don't fit into the remaining bits you might have or can easily pick up.

The first place you might find is Albert Prendergast Ltd but while I'd never day anything against their service and overall quality unlike some other interests that seem to sell to those who must have stuff from places that cater to them, his stuff tends to be expensive compared even to things from similar suppliers.

You can often find stuff like turn over top socks with and without banding on ebay sometimes new sometimes "vintage" and depending on your shoe size some mainstream shops with school uniforms sections may have them in plain grey or black.

Short trousers if you're over a 36/38 inch waist can be harder to find especially lined although some "Sturdy" or Plus sized pair sold by general school sellers can be found on the likes of Ebay in unlined form.

That's the one area I feel you're more restricted over as often actual boys shirts, M&S y fronts, vests can be found eslewhere.

When it comes to scoutwear within limits such as obviously with new stuff current "branding" will  apply, you can buy from official suppliers but be mindful to order small quantities as if you're buying for an actual child and leave feedback relating to a child not you and certainly not  nothing that might suggest anything else!

I have a more mix and match approach being a traditional grey shorts and matching socks version of the current look.

A.P Ltd do have some replica whole uniforms made for pre 1967 and 70's 80's before the last major changes if you are the sort that need a total period look.

We are talking around the idea of allowing private sales on the forum as some do buy bulk consignments and would be happy to split, others may have some vintage items they don't need and depending what your doing something more vintage may be what you're looking for.

It is early days yet but it is likely to have most correspondence doing via the messaging on site with "Would like to buy" "Pending" "Sold" adding to any sales thread so everyones clear on the status and obviously it is between private individuals and as such Moderators aren't getting into policing sales.

Easter themed fun

 Easter again I hear you ask?

Well that was last weekend with all the bloomin' chaos of hastily rearranged train journeys, meet ups and all that and even would the drivers turn out on Sunday to drive the services offered.

Fortunately I did get away, a day later and was about get straight off the train, across the station concourse to the taxi rank in minutes ready for socializing playing games, thankfully not croquet or cricket but I did knock all the cans over!

An easter egg hunt was held which was fun as the eggs were literally everywhere, in the undergrowth, in trees and even sheds but least I found some.

The were easter related quizes and yarns being delivered until everyone fell sleep, talking of which I nearly fell of the chair being that tired head first but at least I didn't quite manage that!!!

We had planned on going for short hike along a disused railay line but conditions were too soft underfoot even for the most able never mind wibbly-wobberly me  so we walk to the venue for lunch which was excellent before making my way back in time for tea.

Comic fun

After last week's spun off to the past entry we go to the past in the present this week was after a few rough days I'm slowly actching up and reading a few comics in just the same way I'd of done in the 1970's.

Back then it was all Sparky, Beezer, Warlord and Dandy but the world of comics has changed however you might feel about it and at least Monster Fun maintains a connection to those days while strongly connecting with today's children do like old school comics when given the opportunity and all new but varied cartoon strips in the weekly Phoenix.

Comics can lift your mood and even open your mind to new ideas and concepts apart from being something you can share with others talking about the stories and just what you like about them.

Playing that Now Yearbook '90 cd reminded me of the magazine I used to love back the called Big! which was a cross between a tv features and pop fortnightly magazine that had interviews and pull out posters.

One was of Paula Abdul and the Wild Pair featured in the part animated video for Opposites Attract.

This week I'm sorting out things for next week I, touch wood, I wouldn't be around for a few days so have fun!

Annual review 2023

Twenty-Twenty three had like the preceeding years its challenges of which one dominated the year although the background went back to the last month of the previous year when Mum and I became very ill with covid and while I recovered of sorts, she didn't, and that lead to complications with her pre-existing conditions such as COPD which after one return from hospital within the space of a few weeks was to lead to a return and sadly death.

The formalities took time, that didn't aid the grieving process with home being the control centre for making most of arrangements so it was difficult to mentally escape and it times it seemed to crush everything.

At an Easter littles event which I did make a point of getting away to attend for instance, I was very withdrawn and in a daze although by the Summer I did feel better, focusing on other things.

Into that like last year considerable industrial action by a variety people was to cause issues such as delayed playthings, anxiety inducing logistical nightmares as train services were curtailed even if planned, difficulty in weekend travel as no train drivers were rostered so servces were cancelled at short notice and so on.

Like a number of people I had Covid on a few occassions but being helped by being high risk medically and run down  although I did take up the autumn offer of a booster vaccination being out on the day in question in temperatures of around 1.5 degrees c in short trousers which proved a conversation point to various folk I encountered.

On the otherhand I did have a great time with friends at a halloween party, making things, running around in competitions hunting for things and a great fireworks party which is really part of the stuff I loved as a boy.

Despite the odds and a bit of internal politics I did get away in the Summer for a few days in the Lake District where I was able to shake off the sadness of the previous months and enjoy making things and outdoor games in the summer.

I did get out about here enjoying the fresh air and countryside dressed in short short trousers with temperatures down to two degrees in my dufflecoat and bobble hat which was very much how school winters always felt to me.

I wore my blue corduroy short trousers comissioned around October last year but delayed until early this year that I had hoped to wear with Mom as the battle of the Longs did feature that material and seeing me in the sort of shorts I'd sooner of had in the late 70's when I had to fight to wear any might of shown really my idea was one we could both agree on.

Smart hard wearing shorts.

Our forum not only stayed busy but had fresh people arriving and conversations aound all sorts of boyhood related topics and interests which was why it was set up - to be free by one basic rule - to discuss the whole including things as boys that  can't happen on more "adult" orientated sites.

We even talked and explored A.I. as it applied to recreating past scenes as images.

I was very moved by the remarks left in the Christmas Greetings thread this year that expressed just what members got from it and how much it is valued.

Monday wasn't easy for Dad and I, nor in their own ways my brothers and Mom's surviving sisters as Christmas Day always had rituals that she was front and centre of which we had to fill and others that of neccessity had to go but we had a christmas with neighbours visiting.

My neighbours see me openly dressed little all the time, something that especially took hold during lockdown where we were forced to spend time in the immediate area with most working from home seeing each other in the street and those barriers just fell in.

Openess like that to our families and the wider community is something we all can struggle with, for some having to agree to some restrictions but for just being the boy you are it's so worth it.

Weather and going back in time

 There is apparently due to be a distinct probablity of snow later on this week following weather systems coming from continental Europe and as it was across this weekend gone it was colder and Monday we had rainfall.

You might wonder just what that got to do with boyhood life but for me Winters left evocative memories of rain falling on your legs, having to dry yourself and being wrapped up in your gloves, hat and dufflecoat.

Time was back then it would be the same attire you faced the snow in, walking with your wellies on to the corner store on errands or at least getting your sweets and comics and then there was playing in the snow with sledged or snowballs.

Somehow you remain that boy with your more or less 70's length short trousers on prehardened still doing more or less the same today as I walked in the shop yesterday looking and feeling like a kid that came in from the rain, damp.

Post 400

Well Chris's Boy Talk has made its 400th post this week so you might say "and how did it come about?"

Boy Talk was revived from pen notes and odd bits of text file when things at Tumblr started getting messy with perfectly legitimate posts and blogs going which often had commentary around topics either put in as they were mini blog type entries or added to reblogs.

The first and essential start part was the author - me - fundermentally remains a little boy at heart whatever the chronological age and this isn't just a matter of having a child like sense of wonder and innocence.

l don't see me except in the most narrowest of senses as an adult so much as a eternal child and this goes into things such as how I present being nearly always in short trousers and knee length socks and continuing in the same hobbies and interests as that boy.

Things are not collected in the adult way, preserved and with centred around maintaining value but used, played with for pleasure.

Losing that adult sense gained for me the peace of just being able to be myself on my own terms.

Thus I wrote and still write about those things that matter to this little boy including play, dress up and also getting by in world that presumes you become an fully formed adult when you haven't (and for me cannot).

It was always about those feelings that we'd talk about on the walk to school, cubs, during recess or when we stayed with each other rather than just a listing of things I'd had or bought

Halloween and Guy Fawkes Night for me have the fascination and excitement from the earliest of years making things, being with friends, having fun.

It's a kind of conversation as much as a record of what's go on across the week which makes it different than any of the other blogs

Everything makes sense

Hello there!

In a week that included the sixty-fifth anniversary of Blue Peter, more of which can be found on Friday's blog things just seemed to be going more back in time.

I'd openly admit to feeling very much to feeling like playing with a teddy bear with imaginary adventures just flowing in real time as much as needing to hug him whenever anything left me scared or uncomfortable and things as mentioned last week do right now.

It's also been quite a bit cooler this last few days which means I've needed to put a jumper or sweatshirt on even in the house as cool air makes and appearence never mind when it comes to going out and the dufflecoat came of its spot on the coat rack.

Just imagine it, you are in your grey short trousers and knee socks with your dufflecoat on, gloves in pocket outside in temperatures of only three degrees playing.

You're still very much that little boy and that's so right for you.

Pictures and reflections

As I type this I'm not feeling too great really best described as a gluey inflated head that feels that pressurized it's about to burst and "funny" tasting mouth.

I've a fair idea of what sort of thing this is so it's going to be topping up the anti oxidants, vitamins and isolate for a period until it's gone.

There are a number of things to talk about this week, one of which is really around photograph usage at our forum which sometimes brings issues either of someone being more into one detail in the picture - let's say school uniform - that they ignore context which might be corporal punishment which as many of our behinds know was very much alive and well in our day is something that not just being banned in schools today often is seen as child unfriendly by hosts (and potentially abuse).

The other is more the deligent sort of person who wishes to know "where the land lies", issues around copyright, control of images where schools and others may say "only for our site and nowhere else" and so on.

We've put up pinned thread to cover that which should help.

When it comes to my blogs generally I keep with respecting an organizations wishes and provided the content isn't  problematic then I use things that are public domain although that doesn't guarantee you may hear someone may say "but that's our picture, take it down" or mean an image may of been obtained through harrassment and for some things text may be included for context when it comes to looking at parts of past school life and an illustration may help.

That usually works here.

The other is as the days get shorter and you start to notice autumn is creeping in with its soft sunlight and colourful displays being about, your mind goes back to when you climbed trees and collected your Horse Chestnuts for soaking in vinagar for playing Conkers with your mates.

You look at that reflection, it may be a shadow on the grass or especially a reflection in window you are passing and you wonder "Who's that boy?" then you realize actually it is you.

In your shortened grey short trousers and given the rain the last few days your red waterproof coat the past is the present at least mentally even if it is 2023 rather than 1973 with mind and presentation as one.

To go from eleven inside legs that on me were just on the upper third of the knee standing tall to three, decent and an absolute deadringer for exposing as much as was back in the seventies has been a journey over the years.

We've found the right length of short trousers for this adult little boy.

Will the journey resume?

 All being well I should be out at the Barber's on Tuesday as my hair badly needs tidying up as I missed a normal slot with being unwell with Covid a while back.

Sometimes you see things that just put over thoughts with admirably simplicity and there's two that go together.

You can deny it until you're red in the face. you might due to works or other pressure have to be mindful about how much of it you let out but for so many of us this is true.

Sometimes having realized that boy within is there, the tension is such he needs his space but in order to create that you need to accept you are no longer willing to stay with the status quo and make a first step along the path to being the whole you.

I hit that point over a decade ago working though what the younger me really wanted to be doing, was he prepared understand and even look again at some of ways of modern boyhood given the restrictions and baises of the day, taking what was good for me from the present as much as I am the product of that past.

Would I be prepared to radically change how I presented to match more that person I felt tpo feel comfortable in my own skin?

Perhaps it's time you started your own journey?

Taking a break

When you read this most likly I'll be on my way back home from a few days away in The Lakes, Westmoreland playing, enjoying the odd hike and visiting places not just because as a adult little boy they're such fun thing to be doing but also much of the adult world that winds me up can be pushed well into the background.

That's not been helped this year with events that have run on for months that makes moving on more problamatic with business to still attend to never mind the sorting of things gathered over decades as Dad tries to remake some spaces more as he'd have them and coming across more of them.

No, I need that time away from all of that, the fresh air and tranquility with people you can just talk and play with even if the odd element may not be my first choice.
 

Going back

Domestic life is radically different for me compared with practically anyone within my broad age and highly likely to most over 19 simply because at one level I remain the 'child' spoken to more as one rather than that of any adult and in the physical domain I am always dressed as that child.

Visitors soon pick up on the difference and in turn follow suit so there isn't a adult to adult relationship as everyone talks to a boy who isn't expected to be in grown up conversation.

This can be a help when it comes to hobbies as they are more like boy to father ones especially when they themselves are a follow on from official boyhood.

For as long as I've known him trains full sized and model have been a huge passion of his, I recall the diesel's going just behind  our house when I was very young and the first model railway set he bought me.

We often talk about the models he's bought and often renewed given some of these are collectable and others current kits plus various things connected to the layout such as controllers and furniture as he revamps it given much work was put on hold earlier in the year.

That resulted in untouched kits and that he's working through and needless to say chatting about rather like his ham radio stuff and the club he visits connected with it.

As we approach Easter things are increasingly going back in the present working through everything.

The final departure and acceptance

This morning will be a earlier start than usual from the angle that unlike most wednesday's there is a set timetable I have to meet because today is the funeral of Mum and I have to be up and ready for 8:40 am as that's when we we need to be in the car which after a short spell for locals to wave Mum off we make our way to the Crematorium for a short service a few miles away.

Apart from hymns, her cousin, a Minister, will read a short account of her life drawn not just from his recollections but from ours showcasing just what we are and will continue to miss featuring her interests such as Motorsport, Vintage Aircraft, her role in the local community both personally to people and roles within school, church and local politics.

Dad has agreed to me attending in best little boy mode, what Mum came to love in later life so tie, dress shirt, unbranded school jersey, longer grey shorts and argyle plaid socks are ready to put on and dufflecoat.

Shoes have been polished and cleaned up so I will be very smartly dressed as I am, Mum loved and Dad is happy with.

Such occasions are inevitably emotional as we give thanks for that life, recalling those moments that remind us so much but to just go and be out as me supported by my family is very moving.

I was accepted without exception from family members, the wider community and the undertakers who were very taken by me just being that authentic little with nothing to apologize for.

Normal service or what passes for it resumes next week.

 

Reflective post

Here we go, making a bit of a milestone post on this blog which in some ways is the "oddball" blog of the stable that's been around since mid 2017 when things were very much different  than they are now never mind how things were just two years ago for all of us.

We might as well start somewhere and say this blog is for people who do identify as boys at least mainly as distinct from men even if, like many of us you have to do a bit of "adulting" in the workplace, compromising within adult relationships to make things work.

If you look at that, see yourself in him and see you as very much him now, you certainly belong here even if you might wear a skirt or dress the odd time because for all that you see yourself as that boy.

This blog talks though various things - its why Boys Talk is in the title - whither it's to do with play, how we may present, various issues in life and a bit to do with interests from boyhood.

It's the conversations we'd have walking back from school, in the locker room, making our way to scouts  or the local library, boy to boy.

Sometimes it's light hearted in nature, sometimes it's about finding your boyish spot in a adult world, sometimes it gets serious cos sadly somethings are in a form less likely to go than places like Tumblr or on Tapatalk or allowing a bit more frank expression than they do.

We should pause just after next weeks edition cos I need to to play my part in making family Crimbo with my family - yes doing what they tell me! - as that boy and things get busy her in the week and a bit before the day.

Here's to the next batch of issues!

Halloween thoughts

'Tis only one thing that I feel is appropriate for this blog around this time of year and that be celebrating halloween as that wobberly on foot but no scardedycat  boy with friends. 

Dressing up for the evening, covering everywhere with giant spiders, webs, bats and life sized ghosts to spook less brave hearts that might of tagged along with us hidden in dark corners.

Carving a pumpkin, getting covered in gunge, trying not to saw bits of you off, it might not of been a tradition of your past but is one you can embrace as that modern eternal boy.

After all didn't you just love stuff like this anyway?

A finale that you definately remember, replete with sparklers you had fun with, the bonfire and fireworks that roared and boomed in glistening colours was your joy around Guy Fawkes Night be at cubs, the corporation display or with your siblings and cousins at home.

You felt alive as that little boy in his short trousers watching the catherine wheels spin and amazing stars dancing all around you and today you still do.

I love being a little boy.