Coping and being cared for

The present corona virus pandemic is very worrying but for boys that advice by Mr. Rodgers is really the thing that matters now as it did then.

Men and indeed women are not waiting around while talking up the crisis but instead are doing what is responsible and lending a hand to help, showing real leadership and good morals not ransacking food stores creating more problems for everyone at such a stressful time.

Other things that tie into included going for a long walk to get away from the relentless coverage in the media dressed in grey shorts and socks (covered elsewhere by my walking post) where men spoke with me checking I was okay.

It felt lovely to be cared for by adults of my own gender, man to adult boy who just engaged with me more like their own sons reflecting masculine care for each other.

Away thoughts

You know the best thing any person can be is their authentic selves and that's one thing I will be this week while I'm away enjoying being adult little boy around other adult littles as himself.
Nothing more and nothing less than that indoors and out where we'll be rambling enjoying the countryside when not just messing about and there's nothing wrong with doing just that.

Or making something from lego or playing with trains because all that comes from within.

They went trainspotting, enjoying themselves watching the trains and getting to grips with what makes them work, no doubt talking to railway staff learning about how the railway works.

In 2020 I accepted an offer to go trainspotting, just like they did while in the past I'd of passed up on it unless it was part and parcel of being under the care of an Uncle or my Dad, taking pictures and even volunteering to go into a railway station museum.
I actually loved doing it in the company of men.

While I had gone on steam trains in early boyhood, that was generally because Dad always wanted to and so you all did sometimes to the exclusion of other things we would of preferred which took a lot away from any sense of enjoying it.
This also helped some of those people who tried putting a wedge between me and being a male because while there are some females who are train enthusiasts it remains overwhelmingly a boys and mens thing.
A sign of how much better I am feeling about being male was that I chose to take that journey for the first time in many years not as has been the case when travelling by train has been just about getting to work based activities but for pleasure.
I felt free to be an eternal boy enjoying the sounds, rhythms  and excitement  just like a ten year old boy. I felt great getting excited over it all, being alive in a male body.

I rejoined the world of men and boys as not one female ventured into the engine shed with its smell of oil and smoke and dirt walking around the exhibits, opening conversations with men I never knew freely, feeling very much a part of them, proof that I identify as nothing other than that.

I AM NOT ONLY PHYSICALLY BUT SOCIALLY MALE WITHOUT ANY FEMININE TRAITS BELONGING ONLY IN THE WORLD OF MEN AND BOYS.

The time away spending time in the mainly masculine world underscored the double metaphor of being on this exploration of myself and my past and the arrival at the end of that journey as with being in the engine shed.

The parts were all there, the original plans discovered being used to enable full restoration to be achieved and this ol' engine showed he could hack it all along going full steam ahead knowing his place and feeling the happiest in ages for being male and accepted by men as nothing else.

This week has been the week I fully let my maleness out after all this time, publicly presenting and asserting my gender.

There WILL be no going back from now on.

For being with and for each other as males

Everywhere you go on social media, anime websites and wherever there is this attempt to push the pro female, pro ethic minorities are more pure more virtuous line and routinely write off and out any males especially white males.

This is so silly as people are people and no one group are any better than any other and when it comes to recasting roles often it's not what that audience regardless of it's demographics wants.

To tell you the truth I think we need to get back to first principals here which is no boy nor man needs a woman around him as all society needs is stable relationships for maintaining the human race and even if you are in a relationship with a woman, you need not spend all your time with her.
  

We all know we prefer the social company of males, it's what we did as boys challenging each other, playing games, establishing mateships and hierarchies that for some of last even now.
We never needed to play with a girl because other boys had what we needed and although we're infamous for not doing intimacy we did share things in our lives like what we learned from other men in our lives and some of our lessor moments.

We spoke of our run-ins with adult male authority together with the licks we received and commiserated with one another without getting soppy over it.  We bonded with one another.

The thing is there is no real reason we we can't revert to more of that, spending time with your mates, having a drink and chat about whatever is on our minds well away from women bloke to bloke trusting and valuing each other as males together. We don't need women to validate us.

Meanwhile as the Woke Woman runs wild turning the tables on what suited men and women remaking the world in her own image even removing women she feels threaten her views like Mum's who stay home to raise kids something needs to happen here.

Women who choose to have men in their lives need to be reminded of why they did - what we actual contribute with that relationship and allow us to occupy those spaces and butt out of upsurping men's role as the head of the family and focus on what they can offer instead within and for the whole family unit.

Feed the affections

Contrary to popular assertion as males were are affectionate toward other living things feeling a strong sense of love and affection toward them such as many of us had toward our pet dogs or cats as young boys.We stroked and hugged them affectionately no matter what may of happened,even kissing them feeling their every living breathing emotion.
We'd go through rain and snow for them if they'd gone missing because we cared that much for them, we hand actually formed a bond that lasted

We formed bonds too with our closest friends hanging out with them by choice for ages, we helped each other out in both practical ways and also by just talking about what was on our minds.
We bear hugged each other.
We looked after younger boys than ourselves caring for them as older boys and men cared for us.
As boys and men, we do actually care.

Social media week

This week I decided to talk a bit more interaction on sites and social media

This week has been a bit odd to say the least with the MLP Club blocking my 100% SFW Cglre age regression blog's account for no apparent reason other than reblogging an Agere Toy Sharing scheme's info which is odd as high proportion of people looking at pre year 2000 toys and pastimes will surely include people who do age regress which will include memories of such things.

In the real order of things well away from the make believe word of Tumblr the Music blog suitable regendered has turned 500 posts well officially at least as it had been going for a long time April 2006 and I'm sure I actually posted a good number more than that.
Unlike a character like Grant there, I don't live for post counts as I don't feel the need for adoration and the like although the recent software like many today does issue various trophies like that 500th post one.

I'm just relearning how to interact as male, picking topics outside the main music stuff to join in with like Model Railways and soccer as I work through the malaise and out as the boy and male I am, happy to be seen as such. 

Radiating maleness

While I'm hoping for few hours outdoors when it stops raining I thought I'd post something

Going back to go forward almost seems to be a theme with me in that outside of wearing regular tailored school attire including school shorts, my spare time is also be spent very much in a mode I had recall from parts of my youth

.

That is to say my play attire is to be t shirts and 'classic' sports  nylon shorts with short white socks emphasize my boy status as far removed from young adult sophisticated classic sportswear from the likes of Fred Perry and co.

People say you can't do this or that and be male or female but you own your own personality traits which slot within the context of Gender but my sex is biologically set and determined by my physical body and no attempt at altering how that looks cosmetically changes a thing. 

The rumblings from above can be heard in the gloom at this time in the morning so I suspect we're having the warm very wet day the weather forecasters showed on their slots on tv and radio in the last few days so we can forget footie unless I want to come back covered head to toe in mud and soaked to the skin.

There's always Saturdays to keep up with the days many matches and how knows it may be a bit drier then too so I get out as I had to wait ages yesterday to find a dry twenty minutes or so go out without getting my shorts and socks wet after remembering where I'd put my key.

Lots of people see me about an that, like I even paid the milkman just being the adult with the mind set of that eternal ten year old and they just accept it.

The rush to embrace alternate notions of what you might be can sometimes seen in either the formation of alternative personas, difficulties in working out what is going on and said 'between the lines' if say your are autistic so you see them as "solving" the problem and then people find down that line actually they're still having these problems or they may be experiencing mental illness or distress.

I know what I am.

I haven't felt better in myself for years.

Boy chat

This last week was pretty interesting in that I spent time chatting on Friday in a chat room with a mixture of people of both genders on a streaming site owned by a Female "Furry" who as it happened between doing comic also had slots for free art in and to which I had entered into the competition.

You see, they all belong on a big Furry site which as it happens I do have an account in my name (Chris_minor) where I do publish pictures of my colouring and that on plus write a bit of a journal about me.

I had interacted with the odd one but never in real time with a group as talked with them about various things we had in common such as our regressed littleness and it wasn't long before I was explaining what being a adult little boy/ schoolboy was as I see it.

I also explained around how for me it was less "age playing" -a kind of role play but more a matter of coming from my actual regressed emotional age so I have less of a character and more just me younger than my 'bone' age.

The only other place I chatted a lot on was ASB.org but that's been down for a good few weeks now and I quite enjoyed it and coming out as ALB/ASB

People I think get into over thinking around things to do with gender, at least in my experience because we are all male and female, boys and girls and so much of everything else is really about us even if generally speaking their are ideas around what is normal for girl and boys and I know with boys we have a 'code' of sorts.

Thing is we can play three ways, on own own, with own own gender which is our social default or with both as in this picture where we all are and know we are boys and girls but we're playing as friend, sharing in the fun.

It doesn't and should not mean we have lost our gender in the play, it's that the play is the bigger thing.

Because I play with a girl doesn't  mean I become her any more than she becomes me it's that we both know what each other is and stick to what is right for us because we are something.

We ARE gendered. We WANT to be seen as the boy or girl we ARE and there comes a point when ACCEPT OUR GENDER and ACT ACCORDINGLY.

The march toward recovery

This week is one that has seen me start to get back rather more to things before the illness and other related stuff appeared tp take over much of my life and so just over a month on it would make sense to try to get back to where we were.
One form of this is to resume walking the longer route through common land, country lanes and passing fields I did until then which is what I did the other day, taking my time at it as this illness has left me lacking in energy and taking account of my feelings as I proceeded.
One of things I like about this route is once you're out of the built up area, there are a number of points where you can just and just take several minutes thing about things as one thing I have prone to do is not actually process what I actually feel whereas by stopping and putting them into words I do.
It was a beautiful warm summery day with brilliant sunshine, I suppose you could call it the "Indian Summer" sandwiched between this years sweltering July and August and the onset of The Fall. 
I felt quite emotional for being alive and able to enjoy this after what happened that could easily of robbed me of my life
I also reflected on the distance I had come  battling with issues around gender identity and gender roles over the years as I moving into a point of being more secure in myself of what I am, presenting and being interacted with as that male and of being actually gendered even if the odd like may be less than stereotypically boyish.
I just feel several times more confident socially now than I ever did before for just being me.

Growth

It has been an odd week here with the end for now perhaps of one forum for boys like me and with the 24 hour blood pressure test I've had since my current medical side came to the doctors in the last three weeks.
It's kind of weird going around with something that beeps and squeezes your arm at preset intervals

In all this I am growing in my deeper sense in what it means to feel deeply connected to my  own masculinity, to love my male body and neigh be proud of being a boy who has walked away from the world of girls and women and to stand alone as a boy in his tribe of fellow boys as an equal in the World of Men and manhood supported to show his metal as a Real Boy.

The Ten life lessons that should be taught to the teenage male

1. Cultivate the three pillars of life
The three pillars of life—in order—are: body, mind, and social.

2. Small things will seem important while important things go under the radar

3. Screw your dreams, go for opportunities

4. Start developing useful skills now

5. Get off electronic screens

6. You can become a man whenever you choose to live as one

7. It’s time to start taking full responsibility

8. Learn to manage money

9. Go against the current

10. If you’re going through hell, keep going

A recovering boy

This week was not a good week for me to be honest because I had been away the week before and had returned with a fair number of bites from midges, horseflies and indeed tics from being on grass and also going for a couple of walks.
I had a large rash on one arm from a number of bites, a couple of bites on the other plus a series on both legs and ankle area that did not appear to be subsiding.
On Saturday evening while doing some stuff on the computer, I started to feel very hot, struggling to breathe and feeling very sick to the point I had to stop what I was doing in a hurry.
Coming downstairs, I felt my body feeling crushed almost as if I was about to die any second.
It was horrible.
I forced several cup fulls of water down me thinking it may force some air through me and spent a good length of time sat by a bowl feeling sick and after a couple of hours had a paracetamol to lower my temperature before going to bed.
I prayed and prayed to God that I was a good boy, strong and was able to fight anything including this because I have the fight in me to protect and stand up for myself and as a CatBoy I have nine lives that can save me.
By about six o clock in the morning  I felt a bit better and decided I would get medical help the next day and obediently follow their advice and present as the boy in his school shorts too.
I got examined and I am being treated for Lyme Disease having been given penicillin based antibiotics to take for a week so I have to be good and take every single one.
I will need to rest as they make me feel yukky as they fight the infection so I will be in my uniform on the bed reading or listening to music as I recover.