Away thoughts

You know the best thing any person can be is their authentic selves and that's one thing I will be this week while I'm away enjoying being adult little boy around other adult littles as himself.
Nothing more and nothing less than that indoors and out where we'll be rambling enjoying the countryside when not just messing about and there's nothing wrong with doing just that.

Or making something from lego or playing with trains because all that comes from within.

They went trainspotting, enjoying themselves watching the trains and getting to grips with what makes them work, no doubt talking to railway staff learning about how the railway works.

In 2020 I accepted an offer to go trainspotting, just like they did while in the past I'd of passed up on it unless it was part and parcel of being under the care of an Uncle or my Dad, taking pictures and even volunteering to go into a railway station museum.
I actually loved doing it in the company of men.

While I had gone on steam trains in early boyhood, that was generally because Dad always wanted to and so you all did sometimes to the exclusion of other things we would of preferred which took a lot away from any sense of enjoying it.
This also helped some of those people who tried putting a wedge between me and being a male because while there are some females who are train enthusiasts it remains overwhelmingly a boys and mens thing.
A sign of how much better I am feeling about being male was that I chose to take that journey for the first time in many years not as has been the case when travelling by train has been just about getting to work based activities but for pleasure.
I felt free to be an eternal boy enjoying the sounds, rhythms  and excitement  just like a ten year old boy. I felt great getting excited over it all, being alive in a male body.

I rejoined the world of men and boys as not one female ventured into the engine shed with its smell of oil and smoke and dirt walking around the exhibits, opening conversations with men I never knew freely, feeling very much a part of them, proof that I identify as nothing other than that.

I AM NOT ONLY PHYSICALLY BUT SOCIALLY MALE WITHOUT ANY FEMININE TRAITS BELONGING ONLY IN THE WORLD OF MEN AND BOYS.

The time away spending time in the mainly masculine world underscored the double metaphor of being on this exploration of myself and my past and the arrival at the end of that journey as with being in the engine shed.

The parts were all there, the original plans discovered being used to enable full restoration to be achieved and this ol' engine showed he could hack it all along going full steam ahead knowing his place and feeling the happiest in ages for being male and accepted by men as nothing else.

This week has been the week I fully let my maleness out after all this time, publicly presenting and asserting my gender.

There WILL be no going back from now on.