Second Anniversary post Part II

The follow on from last weeks post continues in the vein of the Tumblr posts and expanded back ups on Wordpress over the two year period of That Traditional Schoolboy with some of elements that I touched on briefly exploring at ASB.org
Things are very different at the moment because of the Corona virus and the restrictions that has brought into place which has provided an opportunity of sorts to look at this whole matter of relating.

One unavoidable aspect is that for me it is not a role playing situation where you may taken on a role as a school boy, dress and start the reenactment post roles as a character to others so much as actually I have no conception of being adult and from that point on I don't relate to you at all as adult to adult.

Another element is connected with disability many of my carers and defacto authority figures were female so I didn't have much male import with much ill disguised male bashing surrounding me.

One thing that has rocketed in that two years is the extent I am not just wearing but am seen out of doors as that adult little boy so even in this emergency I am seen on the streets at the local store or technically exercising in uniform.

That on top of the developmental disabilities side of not being nor relating as an adult only amplifies that difference and it has lead to changed  relating and social interchange as I increasingly move in male only circles.

Picture me not a million miles removed from the boy above dressed in grey school shorts, blue or green double striped turnover grey socks who speaks to and who is asked how he is and how he is getting on.

A person who looks very much a boy being cared for by men on the street as they find him, who is instructed on what he should do, being told what he cannot do, who has to stand there feeling the heat as he is verbally chastized and cautioned just like a school boy - looking like one - by men who treat him like their own son that he knows

A little boy, with some adult privileges such as voting back in boyhood being raised by men who looks up to them.

Not a classic adult schoolboy role play of boys vs teachers with lectures and on the spot corporal punishment but almost as authentic and definitely the best thing that's happened to me since turning 18 in law. 

That's a change that's happened through ASB and that Tumblr

Away thoughts

You know the best thing any person can be is their authentic selves and that's one thing I will be this week while I'm away enjoying being adult little boy around other adult littles as himself.
Nothing more and nothing less than that indoors and out where we'll be rambling enjoying the countryside when not just messing about and there's nothing wrong with doing just that.

Or making something from lego or playing with trains because all that comes from within.

They went trainspotting, enjoying themselves watching the trains and getting to grips with what makes them work, no doubt talking to railway staff learning about how the railway works.

In 2020 I accepted an offer to go trainspotting, just like they did while in the past I'd of passed up on it unless it was part and parcel of being under the care of an Uncle or my Dad, taking pictures and even volunteering to go into a railway station museum.
I actually loved doing it in the company of men.

While I had gone on steam trains in early boyhood, that was generally because Dad always wanted to and so you all did sometimes to the exclusion of other things we would of preferred which took a lot away from any sense of enjoying it.
This also helped some of those people who tried putting a wedge between me and being a male because while there are some females who are train enthusiasts it remains overwhelmingly a boys and mens thing.
A sign of how much better I am feeling about being male was that I chose to take that journey for the first time in many years not as has been the case when travelling by train has been just about getting to work based activities but for pleasure.
I felt free to be an eternal boy enjoying the sounds, rhythms  and excitement  just like a ten year old boy. I felt great getting excited over it all, being alive in a male body.

I rejoined the world of men and boys as not one female ventured into the engine shed with its smell of oil and smoke and dirt walking around the exhibits, opening conversations with men I never knew freely, feeling very much a part of them, proof that I identify as nothing other than that.

I AM NOT ONLY PHYSICALLY BUT SOCIALLY MALE WITHOUT ANY FEMININE TRAITS BELONGING ONLY IN THE WORLD OF MEN AND BOYS.

The time away spending time in the mainly masculine world underscored the double metaphor of being on this exploration of myself and my past and the arrival at the end of that journey as with being in the engine shed.

The parts were all there, the original plans discovered being used to enable full restoration to be achieved and this ol' engine showed he could hack it all along going full steam ahead knowing his place and feeling the happiest in ages for being male and accepted by men as nothing else.

This week has been the week I fully let my maleness out after all this time, publicly presenting and asserting my gender.

There WILL be no going back from now on.

Going forward from where we are

After a series of posts that strayed more around sexuality than I'd normally go for on this blog I'd sooner get back to the mainstay of why and what this blog is really about which is about boyhood and the sense of being masculine you have. 

This is the second year of The Boy after realizing how unhappy and unsatisfactory being pushed toward a conception of me that had no place for owning a specific gender identity by people who questioned the idea and tried to deny me from holding on to one.

This blog is in part therefore documents and in itself is a part of that program of gender and sex recovery I am working through by looking back at my past life around Childhood, identifying those markers that were a part of how I saw me and reapplying them with an understanding of what I learned about myself as a gender.

This program is a work in progress but one in which progress is being made both in terms of feeling comfortable again psychologically with being regarded as male and addressed as one together with feeling comfortable with my body, owning and liking it.

Seeing it is the New Year it is not just time to reaffirm the journey I am on but also set some aims for it.

 Always present in a way that makes it clear cut what my gender and sex is even if in the odd context I may need to wear longs. At all other times I will wear shorts to show I am a boy.

Never hold from saying I am a male where the information is needed or a formal requirement such as on forms.

Politely correct any attempt to de-gender me by not using the correct pronouns or using titles such as ____person rather than _____man. As a male I have the right to be addressed as one.

If anyone misgenders me I will correct them every time to ensure  am referred to correctly as I have the right to be called by my gender.

If I am in a group where for any purpose we split along gender lines I will politely decline any offers to be with females and automatically go with males because I am one.

Things will move on his year

For being with and for each other as males

Everywhere you go on social media, anime websites and wherever there is this attempt to push the pro female, pro ethic minorities are more pure more virtuous line and routinely write off and out any males especially white males.

This is so silly as people are people and no one group are any better than any other and when it comes to recasting roles often it's not what that audience regardless of it's demographics wants.

To tell you the truth I think we need to get back to first principals here which is no boy nor man needs a woman around him as all society needs is stable relationships for maintaining the human race and even if you are in a relationship with a woman, you need not spend all your time with her.
  

We all know we prefer the social company of males, it's what we did as boys challenging each other, playing games, establishing mateships and hierarchies that for some of last even now.
We never needed to play with a girl because other boys had what we needed and although we're infamous for not doing intimacy we did share things in our lives like what we learned from other men in our lives and some of our lessor moments.

We spoke of our run-ins with adult male authority together with the licks we received and commiserated with one another without getting soppy over it.  We bonded with one another.

The thing is there is no real reason we we can't revert to more of that, spending time with your mates, having a drink and chat about whatever is on our minds well away from women bloke to bloke trusting and valuing each other as males together. We don't need women to validate us.

Meanwhile as the Woke Woman runs wild turning the tables on what suited men and women remaking the world in her own image even removing women she feels threaten her views like Mum's who stay home to raise kids something needs to happen here.

Women who choose to have men in their lives need to be reminded of why they did - what we actual contribute with that relationship and allow us to occupy those spaces and butt out of upsurping men's role as the head of the family and focus on what they can offer instead within and for the whole family unit.