The march toward recovery

This week is one that has seen me start to get back rather more to things before the illness and other related stuff appeared tp take over much of my life and so just over a month on it would make sense to try to get back to where we were.
One form of this is to resume walking the longer route through common land, country lanes and passing fields I did until then which is what I did the other day, taking my time at it as this illness has left me lacking in energy and taking account of my feelings as I proceeded.
One of things I like about this route is once you're out of the built up area, there are a number of points where you can just and just take several minutes thing about things as one thing I have prone to do is not actually process what I actually feel whereas by stopping and putting them into words I do.
It was a beautiful warm summery day with brilliant sunshine, I suppose you could call it the "Indian Summer" sandwiched between this years sweltering July and August and the onset of The Fall. 
I felt quite emotional for being alive and able to enjoy this after what happened that could easily of robbed me of my life
I also reflected on the distance I had come  battling with issues around gender identity and gender roles over the years as I moving into a point of being more secure in myself of what I am, presenting and being interacted with as that male and of being actually gendered even if the odd like may be less than stereotypically boyish.
I just feel several times more confident socially now than I ever did before for just being me.

Rainswept reflections on the week

Good morning as I sit atop of my bed in blue pajamas clutching my Gummi Bear typing this all out at this early hour although I did get a good nights sleep in after checking on ASB and having my supper.

Thursday saw me publish a marathon practically blog like post around boyhood on Tumblr and I know you all think the most activity I might do is run and up down the soccer field wildly but actually I can be - whisper it quietly, academic - so I wrote this post about a quarter of which was personal observation and reflection that ties into how I'm changing for having more having more male input but I digress.

I sorted through my more casual play clothing with us getting toward winter where you may need an extra layer in the form of a jumper or sweatshirt on as some of them were past their best and organized replacements which will be coming soon

The weather it has to be said doesn't really seem to know in what season it really is in as while it isn't the fall, although some leaf coverage is lower than usual nor is the summer with temperatures lower and presently much heavy rain having had to be out in it.

Sometimes people - usually females - say why do you go out this time of year in shorts and long socks rather than longs and for one thing the reason is the rain just runs off my legs so doesn't leave them feeling damp next to my skin and which longs when soaked do.

It's also easier to clean my legs of any marks from damp objects like cars or mud off me plus they are less likely to get on my shorts than on longs the would then need to be washed.

Finally after over a week I have transitioned to masculine peeing conventions totally feeling so much better about myself connected to my maleness in doing so.

I will from now only pee in the manner of boys through my shorts and not in the manner of girls because I belong to and have a gender identity which is masculine because I am a boy and that is the standard for me.