The importance of older men to boys

I was not too well recently so things will need to be a bit brief as I'm still recovering but thoughts did go back to my teens and how learning wasn't all rote learned academic stuff.

One advantage of having a fairly big family was you had a lot of people with all manner of experiences, some of which were not in your immediate family and when I was younger some of the major events of the last century such as World War Two and the changes in industrialization were still fresh, keenly remembered by those who'd live through them.

Your aunts and uncles plus grand parents talked to you about what they had experienced and some schools tapped into that idea by doing "oral history" where past generations spoke to groups of boys and girls about their life and times.

I feel it grounded me much better as a boy to know of what previous generations when through and to learn something of what boyhood was from those who'd had that life and learned valuable lessons from I badly needed to learn.

Men have a lot to offer us and people should care to help to place us with them where they feel they have a valuable role to play and we gain from what they learned about life, especially as a male.

Coping and being cared for

The present corona virus pandemic is very worrying but for boys that advice by Mr. Rodgers is really the thing that matters now as it did then.

Men and indeed women are not waiting around while talking up the crisis but instead are doing what is responsible and lending a hand to help, showing real leadership and good morals not ransacking food stores creating more problems for everyone at such a stressful time.

Other things that tie into included going for a long walk to get away from the relentless coverage in the media dressed in grey shorts and socks (covered elsewhere by my walking post) where men spoke with me checking I was okay.

It felt lovely to be cared for by adults of my own gender, man to adult boy who just engaged with me more like their own sons reflecting masculine care for each other.

Going forward from where we are

After a series of posts that strayed more around sexuality than I'd normally go for on this blog I'd sooner get back to the mainstay of why and what this blog is really about which is about boyhood and the sense of being masculine you have. 

This is the second year of The Boy after realizing how unhappy and unsatisfactory being pushed toward a conception of me that had no place for owning a specific gender identity by people who questioned the idea and tried to deny me from holding on to one.

This blog is in part therefore documents and in itself is a part of that program of gender and sex recovery I am working through by looking back at my past life around Childhood, identifying those markers that were a part of how I saw me and reapplying them with an understanding of what I learned about myself as a gender.

This program is a work in progress but one in which progress is being made both in terms of feeling comfortable again psychologically with being regarded as male and addressed as one together with feeling comfortable with my body, owning and liking it.

Seeing it is the New Year it is not just time to reaffirm the journey I am on but also set some aims for it.

 Always present in a way that makes it clear cut what my gender and sex is even if in the odd context I may need to wear longs. At all other times I will wear shorts to show I am a boy.

Never hold from saying I am a male where the information is needed or a formal requirement such as on forms.

Politely correct any attempt to de-gender me by not using the correct pronouns or using titles such as ____person rather than _____man. As a male I have the right to be addressed as one.

If anyone misgenders me I will correct them every time to ensure  am referred to correctly as I have the right to be called by my gender.

If I am in a group where for any purpose we split along gender lines I will politely decline any offers to be with females and automatically go with males because I am one.

Things will move on his year

For being with and for each other as males

Everywhere you go on social media, anime websites and wherever there is this attempt to push the pro female, pro ethic minorities are more pure more virtuous line and routinely write off and out any males especially white males.

This is so silly as people are people and no one group are any better than any other and when it comes to recasting roles often it's not what that audience regardless of it's demographics wants.

To tell you the truth I think we need to get back to first principals here which is no boy nor man needs a woman around him as all society needs is stable relationships for maintaining the human race and even if you are in a relationship with a woman, you need not spend all your time with her.
  

We all know we prefer the social company of males, it's what we did as boys challenging each other, playing games, establishing mateships and hierarchies that for some of last even now.
We never needed to play with a girl because other boys had what we needed and although we're infamous for not doing intimacy we did share things in our lives like what we learned from other men in our lives and some of our lessor moments.

We spoke of our run-ins with adult male authority together with the licks we received and commiserated with one another without getting soppy over it.  We bonded with one another.

The thing is there is no real reason we we can't revert to more of that, spending time with your mates, having a drink and chat about whatever is on our minds well away from women bloke to bloke trusting and valuing each other as males together. We don't need women to validate us.

Meanwhile as the Woke Woman runs wild turning the tables on what suited men and women remaking the world in her own image even removing women she feels threaten her views like Mum's who stay home to raise kids something needs to happen here.

Women who choose to have men in their lives need to be reminded of why they did - what we actual contribute with that relationship and allow us to occupy those spaces and butt out of upsurping men's role as the head of the family and focus on what they can offer instead within and for the whole family unit.

Masculine mental health

Because I and this blog is unshakably pro male supporting those things that we excel in doesn't mean to say everything in the world of boys is always right and critically because you are experiencing them does not make you any less a male for all that.

There are problems around body self image that effect some boys, worrying increasingly so that lead into issues around anorexia and self harming that may be connected to impossibly unrealistic images of men shown in advertising and 'gym club culture'.

We don't all get a 'perfect' six pack.

Something like one man in nine is abused in intimate relationships by women, many boys are intimidated and bullied by men who are trying to live their own lives through their sons  in sports, careers and religious observance and some women in positions of power routinely put down boys and men in front of their peers.

Abuse need not be physical, indeed abuse by girls and women on males can take the form of mental or psychological cruelty.

As boys and men we can be sexually abused by either men in homosexual relationships or by women and girls so a man or boy can and sadly is raped.

As men and boys we need to support each other dealing with these challenges, listen, reflect and advise where we can.

A boy or man who comes out to his mates about his challenges isn't soft or making a fuss about nothing, he is talking about the pain he feels.

A guy who has the Balls to come out with it has got more guts than any who just passes it off as if it never happened  and is very much a Real Man for it because by doing so he's enabling himself to receive the support he needs to work on how he's effected  and take control of its outcome.

He is a real man, a bloke and we will stand by him.

A call to arms

Another day attempting to stay alive in the Manosphere in spite of everything

One thing that really pisses me off on Tumblr is how it is the advertising and features are aimed very much at 'females' wither or not they stick the word boy or girl in with it as if no one who could be described as being male is allowed to exist like it is only a female space and yet they talk so much about being inclusive and supporting gender equality.

You cannot opt out of this advertising  which often has a extreme feminist anti male agenda running through it and to complain about how it's just not scientifically correct to refer to over 75 'genders' some of which are inter species for good measure publically risks having your posts removed or accounts terminated even though they may refer to masculinity as toxic with impunity.

Put it this way, as a person who age regresses for reasons of trauma as well as cognitive issues affecting development, I am exploring and working with my boyhood past channelling  my buried maleness reengaging with it.

I am reading and doing colouring things that are clearly for and about boys and our expression of what it means to be one and asserting my Balls confronting the crap that is being thrust at us.

I KNOW WHAT I AM - AN EFFING BOY - AND I WON'T DENY WHAT MY REAL GENDER IS TO MYSELF OR IN THE PRESENCE OF OTHERS.