I mentioned a bit about the impact of what had happened on Tumblr and that has affected not just the new catch all account account but also the external blogs which three of which replace the original tumblrs because just trying to remake them on Tumblr would take too much out of my time and health plus they'd be always at risk of termination.
To be blunt it would be a waste of my limited time while because they had the majority of original posts and it would be easier to just continue the posts from there.
One Tumblr that went was olderboygreyshorts which was a kind of tumblr inspired by what was documented and talked about on here, being more forthright about roles and rights of boys and of my own maleness having more discourse than the others.
That was a picture originally on it of schoolboys happy to themselves, friends sharing amongst themselves things they'd never talk of to Mums and especially girls and that take us back to what this blog is about.
It's always been about Boys Talk sharing a lot with that Tumblr even though it was more an alternative early entries of the original The Traditional Schoolboy had I'd of worked through what I did over the first six months on there recovering.
This blog, Chris's Boy Talk will continue that mission mixed in with the boys talk hence the name cos that's what it's about and a homage to that Spirit.
Saturday, it had to be said felt different, different certainly from any time since being on tumblr and in its own way from any of the short lived time on asb even
You see on Friday I was quite poorly with dizziness and bad head that had rumbled on into much of Saturday to the point I struggled to get down the stairs and needed to go to bed.
By Saturday afternoon I felt okay enough to briefly fire up the Chromebook when I spotted a note inquiring if I was all right as they had not seen any posts by me in that time.
This was a person who I had explained a little about being me and my own disabilities that mean I have supervision and support needs.
Now I was not expecting it although I had known them since autumn of last year and struck up entirely platonic friendship so I quickly typed back to explain what had happened and that I'd be all right.
I was floored by this.
Reason is I only know them because they follow posts about uniforms and boys attire being a boy in law and they also know I'm alb involuntary regressive and we both wear uniform.
Although I am always mindful of how legal age sets natural boundaries and limits following them, there were certain parallels here such as being treated more as the younger boy even if you're older that was the case in my last years in school and yes being cared for by them.
Equally they also could spot as he spotted something was wrong before I'd realized it and initiate an action even if I'd freeze and fail to do so.
The resumption through acceptance of being permanently alb with all of its differences, of wearing school uniform outside and inside has taken me down a couple of pegs from being stand-offish trying to deal with vulnerabilities by putting up barriers having trust issues trying to act grown up when I'm not to one where taken back to shorts, I am more humble, allowing people in, accepting others care not feeling I might be used or ridiculed for just being me. Learning to trust again.
Two 'boys', both in uniform, one 'boy' recovering within his limits and cared for. It couldn't be better.
The follow on from last weeks post continues in the vein of the Tumblr posts and expanded back ups on Wordpress over the two year period of That Traditional Schoolboy with some of elements that I touched on briefly exploring at ASB.org
Things are very different at the moment because of the Corona virus and the restrictions that has brought into place which has provided an opportunity of sorts to look at this whole matter of relating.
One unavoidable aspect is that for me it is not a role playing situation where you may taken on a role as a school boy, dress and start the reenactment post roles as a character to others so much as actually I have no conception of being adult and from that point on I don't relate to you at all as adult to adult.
Another element is connected with disability many of my carers and defacto authority figures were female so I didn't have much male import with much ill disguised male bashing surrounding me.
One thing that has rocketed in that two years is the extent I am not just wearing but am seen out of doors as that adult little boy so even in this emergency I am seen on the streets at the local store or technically exercising in uniform.
That on top of the developmental disabilities side of not being nor relating as an adult only amplifies that difference and it has lead to changed relating and social interchange as I increasingly move in male only circles.
Picture me not a million miles removed from the boy above dressed in grey school shorts, blue or green double striped turnover grey socks who speaks to and who is asked how he is and how he is getting on.
A person who looks very much a boy being cared for by men on the street as they find him, who is instructed on what he should do, being told what he cannot do, who has to stand there feeling the heat as he is verbally chastized and cautioned just like a school boy - looking like one - by men who treat him like their own son that he knows
A little boy, with some adult privileges such as voting back in boyhood being raised by men who looks up to them.
Not a classic adult schoolboy role play of boys vs teachers with lectures and on the spot corporal punishment but almost as authentic and definitely the best thing that's happened to me since turning 18 in law.
That's a change that's happened through ASB and that Tumblr
Hello again!
There we were in the throws of celebrating the second anniversary of my Tumblr, and how that had lead to processes that had restored both my vigor and a clear cut identity as just a boy with his own personality as Tumblr decided to give me a spanking and remove the account it was on and two others.
I think the most important thing for us to realize is as much we enjoy social media and websites, people or even the sites themselves are always in state of flux and the relationships that really matter with them or those that went to personal ones through emailing or face to face encounters and that we can't restore things to how they were.
Sites do go over time - I can think of five of the top of head I belong to between 2005 and 2009 that are no longer with us such as my beloved Friends Reunited - that we may miss but they are either replaced as a good few have for all intrusive social media or that we replace by with real life activities such as munches or play meets.
That blog, The Traditional Schoolboy lives on as indeed I do in real life on Wordpress where I will be writing a entry per day in the same style as the Tumblr but with some additional text to match the back ups that I had made since November of 2018.
I have established a new Tumblr but rather than posting all the content there I will use it to promote the Wordpress continuation of TSB as the one lesson that I need to learn from this 'spanking' is they can just pull several thousand posts an two years posts with no way of just importing and resuming.
Sometimes the best response we can make to such situations is to simply move on.
Not so long now, April 12th to be exact marks the second anniversary of That Boarding Schoolboy, my first Tumblr which will be marked on their and commented up on an other blog.
That blog rather like here has seen grow and make some major changes in both how I see myself and how I live my life from the implanted suggestions that I was at least a mixture of something else and a boy to one who is fully confident as just that, feeling no need to qualify because the last two years of living and exploration of the past has show just how normally boyish I am.
The one thing at the start of this, actually a couple month before was from the period of signing at to ASB feeling such an environment would be the one that would show what my colours truly were was learning anew the norms.
Like within a day while there was no set piece uniform there is a mode of dressing that I was expected based on gender and just gender conforming from the outset as if for all that attempted brainwashing I knew what was right.
Equally having spent so long in the company of the gender questioning and those who use gender neutral forms of expression, I was getting back used to being addressed expressly as a gender and talking to boys as a member that had shared the same interests and norms rather than tip toeing in the belief that gender norms were unreal and taught rather than just being innate with scope for personal differences.
It become obvious that from the inside out that was where I fitted and that really while we all have personal differences that doesn't alter you sex and being at the social level who you are.
None of this would of happened had I of not had the means of breaking away and exploring with others and in so many respects the importance of that tumblr isn't that I still have it for the many issues at that site but that two year period has seen me move into a understanding of myself and my position as a male that I am comfortable with
.
Just a adult little boy happy being a boy, being spoken to very much as one by men who I look up to showing my respect doing as I am told even in in this emergency.
And that is a great thing.
While out taking some exercise around the area I grew up in some thoughts around the past came very much into focus.
One indication of just how far the gap between myself and my peers had gotten by my mid to late teens was we were discussing one morning before registration a number of things such as what schools, not least our early schools were and what today we felt like doing together where near enough all my friends were thinking more about parties and or maybe going to the movies and all I wanted to do was have a teddy bears picnic with them.
They thought that was a bit sweet but you know a bit odd too given they were all acting more like mini young men and well, I was still a Junior they looked after and they had more that older sibling authority over me although we were the same age seeing them as parental substitutes.
That's the strange reality with me and why 'ageplay' as term doesn't really describe what I do because it's just who I am 24/7 rather than a role I play for a brief period. A Junior.
That was something I forgot in my attempt after leaving school to get bye and what backfired a few years back so badly.
