Communication breakdown

It's been a confusing day around communications  today for a variety of reasons.

One to me shows the difficulty in communicating with a person who doesn't seem to have the ability to infer from reading what a communication is about, to take a note at the top of it that explains it gives you the impression they've just skimmed over it.

A response to say they don't know where it has come from is the literal sense impossible because it's obvious from your account it is from you and if by which you really meant you are not sure why you have sent it you might as well just say that as it is clearer even if the purpose is stated in the first paragraph. 

A better thing to had said is "Is there something I'm meant to do with it" or explain what it is that is confusing.

I have spent the best of of an hour trying to explain that in twenty twenty in England you cannot necessary get a doctors appointment on the day straight off the bat because you are highly likely given demand to have some questions from a Triage Nurse because it may be your bigger need is something that can be arranged such as a prescription item.

It sadly isn't going in.

Then there is a person who seems to think you can ask a series of questions related to ASB presentation as single individual questions expecting an more instantaneous conversation to this in real time.

Well apart from time and well-being constraints  as admin, it would of been better to have asked for some ideas in a thread to which people of explained.

There may be reasons why this person seems communicate in this style but trying to deal with it isn't easy.

Just seems to be one of those days.

The value of being there

As this week gone two irreplaceable public figures who I knew personally have died, it's time to talk about what matters.

It always seemed to me the best moments were the unplanned, unscripted ones where you just gave something a shot for the heck of it, seeing how it might come out not that I'd suggest going out for overnight hiking trip without planning it and making a checklist.

No just things like taking a piece of paper and just getting down an idea in your head whither or not it's a drawing or words or making something using techniques you'd not previously used.

The other thing really is having done it, that feeling of satisfaction and the need we have to share it with people who care about us which might be making that phone call to say you won something or like the boy here, showing Mum his latest and greatest drawing.

I feel that being prepared to take time out of what you were doing and engage with people especially children when they've just achieved something really matters in encouraging them to work on their potential.

Does it matter if the washing up is a smidgen delayed for looking at and talking to him about that drawing, encouraging him in his exploration of art? 

Many have remarked the best way to learn about what's on a boys mind is through talking with him as he does things with you, not formal conversations in the front room.

Time spend with him like that is invaluable and the time these people made for me is time that made differences for the good.

The M.I.A. Edition

Hello again! 

There we were in the throws of celebrating the second anniversary of my Tumblr, and how that had lead to processes that had restored both my vigor and a clear cut identity as just a boy with his own personality as Tumblr decided to give me a spanking and remove the account it was on and two others.

I think the most important thing for us to realize is as much we enjoy social media and websites, people or even the sites themselves are always in state of flux and the relationships that really  matter with them or those that went to personal ones through emailing or face to face encounters and that we can't restore things to how they were.

Sites do go over time - I can think of five of the top of head I belong to between 2005 and 2009 that are no longer with us such as my beloved Friends Reunited - that we may miss but they are either replaced as a good few have for all intrusive social media or that we replace by with real life activities such as munches or play meets.

That blog, The Traditional Schoolboy lives on as indeed I do in real life on Wordpress where I will be writing a entry per day in the same style as the Tumblr but with some additional text to match the back ups that I had made since November of 2018.

I have established a new Tumblr but rather than posting all the content there I will use it to promote the Wordpress continuation of TSB as the one lesson that I need to learn from this 'spanking' is they can just pull several thousand posts an two years posts with no way of just importing and resuming.

Sometimes the best response we can make to such situations is to simply move on.

Dealing with situations

I will no long complain about my life because it is unbecoming of a man to be a bitch and it changes nothing. Instead I will work my balls off to change the situation for myself.

I will no longer entertain the notion there is no right and wrong and be prepared to stand up for what is right and fight what is wrong instead. I will stop being a little bitch and taking a effing stance.

I will no longer pout recognizing my life is harsh, can suck and isn't easy. Bad stuff happens to good people all the time but my pouting achieves nothing so i will choose to look on the bright side of life, appreciate wherever I am and take advantage of the opportunities I have.

I have a choice between a victim or a victor but the latter will never arise from the former.

I am not entitled to a single thing, someone else's money, a job nor happiness just the right to persue it. I have to earn it.

I will no longer entertain the idea that blaming others because when I do I relinquish any notion of power having control over my thoughts or my own future and hand them to others.

I shall take responsibility for my own actions accepting I own my situation and work toward improving things for myself.

I will not quit from those tasks and bars I am capable of, seeing it through working through pain and discomfort to achieve rather than expecting to be consoled and rewarded for being the very definition of a pussy.

Rather than insisting in having my views being beyond challenge, I will accept every man has the right to  challenge and confront them with the expectation I am able to defend them and allow me to trump other peoples.

While I will not look for a fight I will stand and fight my corner being prepared to meet out what is being given to me back to them, facing it down.

Rather than putting things off and being lazy, I will battle against such feelings to get done what I can for myself and others who depend on me as they in turned did for me.

Raising an issue

Back in the day there was one organization that in effect I wasn't given the chance to join  because of the closed attitudes of my parents that continues to niggle at me and that was I was never afford the chance to join the Scouting movement unlike most of my peers because they didn't think Scouting could provide the assistance I might need although I was getting along in mainstream activities like games and that in Junior school even if boys did fasten my football boot laces for me and that.

Because they didn't think it could lead to a mindset that regarded even asking for as an imposition although I am sure many a cub scout leader of that era would of found a way of doing it informally even say 'buddying up' with another boy rather than paid adult assistants.

The consequences for me were increased isolation socially from the activities of my schoolboy peers, the development of feelings on my part I could never do what regular non-disabled boys could and the lack of direction in channeling my innate boyhood in a useful and maturing way by real mentoring by adult males.

That discounts the practical skills I could of learnt which all added to the deficit of 'life skills' I left school with and very low esteem.

I'd honestly love to have the chance to re do this properly cos while it would be hard for me I think it would do me the world of good.

Wednesday ramblings

In the long running saga of gender identity, gender roles and presentation the one constant in my sense of age regression has been the major role in presentation of wearing tailored shorts, more so than traditional pe or footy ones with either dress shirts or t shirts because emotionally being and returning to that schoolboy is a good place for me.

It had more good people grown ups such as teachers and other children in it than bad and was the place I knew more than what as well as where my place was within it.

At times it was a tough environment but one that did me good.

Talking of what does you good this sure as heck doesn't at all.

At one time cartoons just showed good and bad characters acting out and more often than not you saw the bad ones caught out cos they got wise to their antics and protected themselves.

Now what happened was people got worried about seeing all these bad violent things and decided as one we needed a 'wholesome' message.

Now when we saw the Care Bears, what was being espoused was being together and caring a lot with a little homily at the end.

Thing is while there is a lot to be said for caring about people that isn't how things get sorted in the real world. It promotes the ideal everyone is basically good and you can just reason with them.

You may need to learn to outsmart people who have problems with you rather more, you may need less to emphasize with them so much as you might just have to fight them in order to stand up for yourself.

No boy should go anywhere near this cartoon nor own a care bear cos it is so corrosive that adult males then go on to believe totally in the idea just talking it out makes everything okay and by just caring about a country we can have world peace. As if!

 Another thing is just no good for us the 'Everyone wins a prize and nobody loses' culture that comes from the belief to lose at a sport or not win at something as mundane as musical chairs as a kid is so painful we must be sheltered from it.

Everyday instead of winning a prize based on their abilities and skill, instead each participant is handed a ribbon or certificate for taking part and told they are a winner.

Boys in particular work best when they are challenged to be the very best they can at any subject or sport and in time some naturally excel at them to the point further training may be offered.

This isn't just good for that boy but actually motivates the others but in this touchy feeling environment he is not allowed to shine and so the pussification of the young male continues  denying him the life learning lesson of acceptance of being responsible for his own life choices and owning the consequences any man needs. 

Far from building and making his own achievements in his maturity he looks for 'experiences' that have little real responsibility who then whine that 'Life's not fair' later on as life flies by when in reality it never was but you just got on with it making your opportunities and own luck along the way.