Calming your mind

Let's face it, it can be a very noisy, distracting old world out there not least for those of us who are autistic to the point it drives us cranky but while are some things others can do to reduce these things that leace us unsettled (and it may even help them) what about those situations we aren't in control of what is winding us up?

This is a useful little chart of steps we can take in that situation to get back some control of our emotions so while we may not be able to prevent the situations existing, we do have choices about responding from cutting ourselves of from them to doing something we can be more involved in so our responses are better and we have a better day.
 

Looking after each other as Boys

 While the international picture is a matter of considerable concern my thoughts are more centred elsewhere.

It's not the most comfortable thing to say but as men and boys we struggle with emotions, some coming close to denying whole areas of them unless deemed to be "manly" they are experiencing, that are actually affecting how and why they are behaving at that moment.

We do experience trauma and loss that as much as we don't wish for any soppy stuff is affecting our actions and relationships.

We "shut down", we become unusually irritable, uncooperative or even angry because we are affected as much as we're trying to kid everybody we are not having not processed our feelings.

Yelling "Get Over It" really is nothing like the answer because we just haven't as anyone whose been through PTSD will tell you.

We need to learn to accept help and be the help for our mates who may be struggling with issues.

Masculine mental health

Because I and this blog is unshakably pro male supporting those things that we excel in doesn't mean to say everything in the world of boys is always right and critically because you are experiencing them does not make you any less a male for all that.

There are problems around body self image that effect some boys, worrying increasingly so that lead into issues around anorexia and self harming that may be connected to impossibly unrealistic images of men shown in advertising and 'gym club culture'.

We don't all get a 'perfect' six pack.

Something like one man in nine is abused in intimate relationships by women, many boys are intimidated and bullied by men who are trying to live their own lives through their sons  in sports, careers and religious observance and some women in positions of power routinely put down boys and men in front of their peers.

Abuse need not be physical, indeed abuse by girls and women on males can take the form of mental or psychological cruelty.

As boys and men we can be sexually abused by either men in homosexual relationships or by women and girls so a man or boy can and sadly is raped.

As men and boys we need to support each other dealing with these challenges, listen, reflect and advise where we can.

A boy or man who comes out to his mates about his challenges isn't soft or making a fuss about nothing, he is talking about the pain he feels.

A guy who has the Balls to come out with it has got more guts than any who just passes it off as if it never happened  and is very much a Real Man for it because by doing so he's enabling himself to receive the support he needs to work on how he's effected  and take control of its outcome.

He is a real man, a bloke and we will stand by him.