This week I'm going to be talking about online communities because let's be honest often they are the means we do get in touch with each other given we can't walk down the high street with "Adult Little Boy", "A.S.B" or for the other sex "Adult Little Girl" on badges attached to our tops and starting a conversation with "Do you like to dress in school uniform or play with plushies?" has a high awkwardness probability.
Most of us know Tumblr, we have a love-hate relationship with sometimes, more hate to be sure but we use it cos it's usable on paper at least permits us to have accounts connected with it and it's not too hard to make new accounts if the idiots ban us mistaking a liking of being in that regressed state acting as if we are that boy although in law we're adults and we don't wish for any inappropriate interaction with actual boys (in law) but they seem to have different ideas.
That means sometimes you may investigate other sorts of communities on websites that might include virtual worlds which is where the fun really begins.
The first thing you will find is some groups have a long history and don't have visible pages even say a 'sample' page of what may be discussed or happen on site so you may not know if in fact the group is active even.
Who wants to play by themselves?
Some have a kind of repairative family feel aimed more at those who regardless of sex have trauma or similar issues from the past and are aimed more at nurturing, regaining trust and confidence together with some guidance.
One issue I found troubling to do with one site is how one the one hand a lot of fuss was made about not wanting usernames that might possibly lead someone to think there was an actual child member to the point of banning "prince", "princess" "little" as in "little with name" but on the other hand permitted someone to have "X's Daddy" a term we'd all associate with being being a child or a term that signifies being a head teacher of actual boys and girls in a username.
The other is to my mind obvious which is people likely to use a site either have past trauma or developmental issues as I openly acknowledge personally or may be people who might wish to take advantage of them joining.
A user says they are experiencing a flashback from child abuse and so will be off line and NO ONE on site management posts anything or as I found out even messaged them about it.
You don't need to be an expert and there are limits on what as mere ordinary folk we can do but you can do a lot by being around, having empathy and attempting to reach out to that person.
That on a so-called "ethical age play site" to me is just so wrong - you have some responsibilities even it is to sign post for help or ask them to contact them later so you can look at how to help them on site.
It does make me question just how "ethical" they are and the risks involved in small unaccountable groups.
Wednesday, 29 January 2020
Wednesday, 22 January 2020
Anniversary edition and just being me
The last week or so has scene my tumblrs turn various markers or anniversaries such as the original TSB which marked it's 3,000th post a few days ago where I talked a bit about how I came to set up that tumblr and how I was on the inside when I first started writing it.
In many respects through the brief time at asb.org and by joining in with the asb/alb community examining, talking and comparing pasts I moved on from an ailing state of conflictedness to one where I knew exactly where I was and where I belong.
I'm very happy to be eternal schoolboy and wolf cub comfortable in my own male identity with no need to add anything to qualify it.
I've been watching the Dengineer's and Art Ninja on CBBC which are about den building and art for boys and girls instead, getting inspired, enjoying your time.
I also read a books and so become immersed in a story set in an imaginary world you can pause and resume in which is pretty cool although as my ankle is recovering from an injury I should be able to resume kicking me football about which may take something off Wolves not making the finals.
Yesterday's Wolves vs Liverpool FC match might of seen us getting a better result losing two goals to one but there was nothing to be ashamed of when it came to the on field performances unlike Man U's against Burnley earlier in the week which does pose question marks as to what is going wrong in that teams squad.
Meanwhile yesterday's Blue Peter was a Fan Club Take Over which basically means the show is put around the fan's suggestions so we had a Pony on set, Pet Therapy dogs which should Henry alas wasn't cut out for that role visiting children in hospital, gymnastics and the Stockport, Cheshire group The Blossoms performing live in the studio.
I've always loved that show from a kid so that's been a staple of me and my life.
Of course being Friday and at 6 o'clock it'll be time for Crackerjack which last week as absolutely brilliant - you could definitely crush a grape - so I'll be watching that later on today.
Wednesday, 15 January 2020
Working WITH emotions
Hello and welcome to this weeks edition of That Traditional Schoolboy's Dorm where we take sometimes a rawer and sorer look at adult little boy life and what being that male really means in today's world.
One thing that can't be denied is the linkage between the past and the present thus for much of yesterday Alison was on my mind who joined us in Juniors when the family moved from Scotland to here in Staffordshire and who sadly her mother died just before Christmas but between the investigations into cause of death - Cancer - and the Christmas hols these things take time.
Anyone that really knows me understands it's a rough time of year emotionally where all the stuff about presents, carols and a man in red and white are mixed in with deaths of childhood friends as that child in this period. And that life and death cycle don't stop.
It IS hard to stay on top of that continuing on in your life but you need learn strike the balance between understanding the need to listen, reflect and act on the advice of others and what is just anxiety making pressure from people who just feel everybody needs to follow them and their ways of handling things.
While I rather suspect this glossy magazine's cover is a mock up, it does indicate some of pressures that are brought to bear on us which these days do include appearance.
While it's good to be healthy and to have muscles which working out with can help lift your mood, a preoccupation with body image leads you to ignore what matters most - your personality - and what you have to offer.
It is okay to accept and talk through your feelings but being emotionally incontinent, letting our feelings just run out of us like a torrent isn't healthy because we just get flooded and drift away rather than focusing on how to fix what is ailing us
.
It isn't becoming of us to be always on the edge of blubbering away as it solves nothing and certainly no girl wants something that emotionally at least is like a needy girlfriend, she wants a man that cares, that has emotions but also has balls.
To be blunt we should Man Up cutting out the media supported Woke crying man act and get on with the business of fixing it, supporting our friends and family and moving on from what undeniable caused us pain and upset.
lt may not always be easy but its better for men and boys. We work WITH emotions.
One thing that can't be denied is the linkage between the past and the present thus for much of yesterday Alison was on my mind who joined us in Juniors when the family moved from Scotland to here in Staffordshire and who sadly her mother died just before Christmas but between the investigations into cause of death - Cancer - and the Christmas hols these things take time.
Anyone that really knows me understands it's a rough time of year emotionally where all the stuff about presents, carols and a man in red and white are mixed in with deaths of childhood friends as that child in this period. And that life and death cycle don't stop.
It IS hard to stay on top of that continuing on in your life but you need learn strike the balance between understanding the need to listen, reflect and act on the advice of others and what is just anxiety making pressure from people who just feel everybody needs to follow them and their ways of handling things.
While I rather suspect this glossy magazine's cover is a mock up, it does indicate some of pressures that are brought to bear on us which these days do include appearance.
While it's good to be healthy and to have muscles which working out with can help lift your mood, a preoccupation with body image leads you to ignore what matters most - your personality - and what you have to offer.
It is okay to accept and talk through your feelings but being emotionally incontinent, letting our feelings just run out of us like a torrent isn't healthy because we just get flooded and drift away rather than focusing on how to fix what is ailing us
.
It isn't becoming of us to be always on the edge of blubbering away as it solves nothing and certainly no girl wants something that emotionally at least is like a needy girlfriend, she wants a man that cares, that has emotions but also has balls.
To be blunt we should Man Up cutting out the media supported Woke crying man act and get on with the business of fixing it, supporting our friends and family and moving on from what undeniable caused us pain and upset.
lt may not always be easy but its better for men and boys. We work WITH emotions.
Wednesday, 8 January 2020
Going forward from where we are
This is the second year of The Boy after realizing how unhappy and unsatisfactory being pushed toward a conception of me that had no place for owning a specific gender identity by people who questioned the idea and tried to deny me from holding on to one.
This blog is in part therefore documents and in itself is a part of that program of gender and sex recovery I am working through by looking back at my past life around Childhood, identifying those markers that were a part of how I saw me and reapplying them with an understanding of what I learned about myself as a gender.
This program is a work in progress but one in which progress is being made both in terms of feeling comfortable again psychologically with being regarded as male and addressed as one together with feeling comfortable with my body, owning and liking it.
Seeing it is the New Year it is not just time to reaffirm the journey I am on but also set some aims for it.
Never hold from saying I am a male where the information is needed or a formal requirement such as on forms.
Politely correct any attempt to de-gender me by not using the correct pronouns or using titles such as ____person rather than _____man. As a male I have the right to be addressed as one.
If anyone misgenders me I will correct them every time to ensure am referred to correctly as I have the right to be called by my gender.
If I am in a group where for any purpose we split along gender lines I will politely decline any offers to be with females and automatically go with males because I am one.
Things will move on his year
Wednesday, 1 January 2020
A end of year edition
Given some of the distance I have travelled in the last year in looking at what I really felt like saying for what would be a kind of End of Year post it is hard to know really where to begin although a couple of weeks back I did write at length about the break between transgendered age regressors and myself as I found how I felt I was being pushed and feeling less and less at home in it.
Also I have written more on here as writing anything not Modern Liberalism on Tumblr is effectively an account suicidal move about how sex equality - the notion we treat one another as equals in pay, voting and educational opportunities - has moved toward one of female supremacy and reverse sex discrimination with presumed guilt for sexual offences (note I don't condone them but believe cases ought be reviewed before trial, that names should be anonymous and that statute of limitations should stand) and with men being denied opportunities because "50% of the population should be represented no matter what" not on the basis of actual skills and abilities to do undertake the task.
There is nothing wrong with women voting and even standing for Election but expecting others to 'hold the baby' be they men, their own mothers or whoever just isn't right and that reaches the nadir of having a "Locum M.P." a Member of Parliament who stands in for a MP who has a Baby while going on about Toxic Masculinity and Male Privilege which is what we have here. If you chose to have something that was a responsibility then it's reasonable to be expected to do it first.
While bearing no personal ill-feeling toward those young girls who are in Scouting who do put much effort into it, I have and continued to talk this year about why girls and women invading the spaces of boys (and men) that have for decades provided support and nurture for them is wrong.
It's hardly a new observation but when and wherever it has happened, choirs, scouting and so on, boys just drift away as the culture and sometimes rules change to accommodate girls.
If girls activities are insufficiently challenging, change those girls programs that folk run for them such as "Girl Scouts" or in the UK, "GirlGuidingUK" to match what modern girls want and feel ready for.
If a Girls Section doesn't exist, then make one just for them that they feel comfortable with rather than removing the spaces boys need to grow, to be honest with each other.
Another area has been Gender Identity which needless to say is both personal and at times a very prickly area on social media that I have talked about.
Let's try to get things straight, no holds bar but fair minded.
Gender Identity is the new litmus test of acceptance in Liberal circles but is little more than by defining features of any one society at any one point in time into either Masculine or Feminine boxes and saying on that basis alone, you are male or female and if you don't fit well we'll make boxes for you so you do.
We substitute Gender - the social expression and presentation in life in roles commonly associated with any one Sex for Sex.
In my life I can recall only too well as a boy to wear *any* kind of pink was seen as girlish but today football and rugby players can and do play with pink tops and they are still very much men for it.
In 1975 a girl who wanted to play soccer rather than netball or hockey would be seen as a 'TomBoy' while in 2019 she's...just a girl.
A thirteen year old me never knew what 'non-binary' meant back then, we know boys who did somethings associated with girls and vice-versa and some clothes were 'unisex' which is a great term cos they could of said 'unigender' today but back then we knew the difference.
In 2019 they'd be whisked to a Gender Clinic while being encouraged to 'explore' their gender typically in the throws of child development and the maelstorm that is adolescence with all the uncertainties and awkwardness it brings.
The difference meant a unisex item could be worn by either sex but you WERE a SEX and non-binary implies you have no sex and no notion of identity built on sex which every four and five year old has. They know it's between the legs and that girls can have babies and boys have the ability to make a baby inside a girl. How can you say you have no sex?
Sex in any event is not the same as sexual drive either so you may not be sexual, you may be hetro, gay or Bi but still have a Sex identity.
You are still exploring the totality of you in no real position to know anymore what it would be to be a male or female than I'd of knowing what life as a lion might be and say do I identify as one.
All of which is denied with smears, "safe spaces" and the like on social media, in liberal society with threats of hate crimes and losing your job.
Growing up isn't and wasn't easy, the over influence of women in teaching, in specialist facilities who had a sex-less view to the point male grooming and hygiene was never mentioned because to be disabled was in practice through them to be sex-less and you had to fight 'woke' agendas that favoured giving the most opportunity to the least able.
That was where the seeds of ambiguity were planted and others tried to harvest because you weren't around men even if you were looking for male role models to the point you disconnect in some of the more mundane ways because you have to settle for what is available. And it's not fulfilling.
The realization within that group I mentioned that for all that had happened I was holding out for my SEX, that it had a value and that I like to be like other boys and adult males lead to me spending more time around wholly male groups of adult littles this time.
It wasn't that like them I was wearing shorts, specifically grey school shorts anyway as I was moving further away from that other group, it was the remainder, the wanting for the first time in eons to wear the Jockey whites all the others just did as I identified totally with being that SEX. I wanted to BE that B-O-Y and so I just bought a supply and did it as I learned to reconnect, owning my real identity.
That was and is the thing that's spread across this Blog, the fact I got my identity back feeling comfortable with it to the point I tore down the messy past in other circles and came out as male with no remakes and no explanations.
No longer was I a 'they' or 'the poster' on those sites as I was a He, a Him addressed and referred to by my sex for the very first time. I was being gendered. Yay!
We end 2019 much further along the path than it was in the beginning of the year.
The significance of the Jockey's I saw others wearing and followed suit was the support it provided for what is defined in them: my SEX.
Like the boy in the poster whatever differences in stature and age between any man in any group of three, when we are lined up in just a vest and jockeys we are instantly identifiable as males.
Today I have older men that talk with me, they provide me with male to male support and guidance helping shape and inform better this whole matter of being one free from feminine influences, teaching me to hold my own as a male.
And in 2019 I feel good about being obviously a sex, being a male among others and being regarded as one by all. I identify as one with no ifs, buts or maybes.
Also I have written more on here as writing anything not Modern Liberalism on Tumblr is effectively an account suicidal move about how sex equality - the notion we treat one another as equals in pay, voting and educational opportunities - has moved toward one of female supremacy and reverse sex discrimination with presumed guilt for sexual offences (note I don't condone them but believe cases ought be reviewed before trial, that names should be anonymous and that statute of limitations should stand) and with men being denied opportunities because "50% of the population should be represented no matter what" not on the basis of actual skills and abilities to do undertake the task.
While bearing no personal ill-feeling toward those young girls who are in Scouting who do put much effort into it, I have and continued to talk this year about why girls and women invading the spaces of boys (and men) that have for decades provided support and nurture for them is wrong.
It's hardly a new observation but when and wherever it has happened, choirs, scouting and so on, boys just drift away as the culture and sometimes rules change to accommodate girls.
If girls activities are insufficiently challenging, change those girls programs that folk run for them such as "Girl Scouts" or in the UK, "GirlGuidingUK" to match what modern girls want and feel ready for.
If a Girls Section doesn't exist, then make one just for them that they feel comfortable with rather than removing the spaces boys need to grow, to be honest with each other.
Another area has been Gender Identity which needless to say is both personal and at times a very prickly area on social media that I have talked about.
Let's try to get things straight, no holds bar but fair minded.
Gender Identity is the new litmus test of acceptance in Liberal circles but is little more than by defining features of any one society at any one point in time into either Masculine or Feminine boxes and saying on that basis alone, you are male or female and if you don't fit well we'll make boxes for you so you do.
We substitute Gender - the social expression and presentation in life in roles commonly associated with any one Sex for Sex.
In my life I can recall only too well as a boy to wear *any* kind of pink was seen as girlish but today football and rugby players can and do play with pink tops and they are still very much men for it.
In 1975 a girl who wanted to play soccer rather than netball or hockey would be seen as a 'TomBoy' while in 2019 she's...just a girl.
A thirteen year old me never knew what 'non-binary' meant back then, we know boys who did somethings associated with girls and vice-versa and some clothes were 'unisex' which is a great term cos they could of said 'unigender' today but back then we knew the difference.
In 2019 they'd be whisked to a Gender Clinic while being encouraged to 'explore' their gender typically in the throws of child development and the maelstorm that is adolescence with all the uncertainties and awkwardness it brings.
The difference meant a unisex item could be worn by either sex but you WERE a SEX and non-binary implies you have no sex and no notion of identity built on sex which every four and five year old has. They know it's between the legs and that girls can have babies and boys have the ability to make a baby inside a girl. How can you say you have no sex?
Sex in any event is not the same as sexual drive either so you may not be sexual, you may be hetro, gay or Bi but still have a Sex identity.
You are still exploring the totality of you in no real position to know anymore what it would be to be a male or female than I'd of knowing what life as a lion might be and say do I identify as one.
All of which is denied with smears, "safe spaces" and the like on social media, in liberal society with threats of hate crimes and losing your job.
Growing up isn't and wasn't easy, the over influence of women in teaching, in specialist facilities who had a sex-less view to the point male grooming and hygiene was never mentioned because to be disabled was in practice through them to be sex-less and you had to fight 'woke' agendas that favoured giving the most opportunity to the least able.
The realization within that group I mentioned that for all that had happened I was holding out for my SEX, that it had a value and that I like to be like other boys and adult males lead to me spending more time around wholly male groups of adult littles this time.
It wasn't that like them I was wearing shorts, specifically grey school shorts anyway as I was moving further away from that other group, it was the remainder, the wanting for the first time in eons to wear the Jockey whites all the others just did as I identified totally with being that SEX. I wanted to BE that B-O-Y and so I just bought a supply and did it as I learned to reconnect, owning my real identity.
No longer was I a 'they' or 'the poster' on those sites as I was a He, a Him addressed and referred to by my sex for the very first time. I was being gendered. Yay!
We end 2019 much further along the path than it was in the beginning of the year.
The significance of the Jockey's I saw others wearing and followed suit was the support it provided for what is defined in them: my SEX.
Like the boy in the poster whatever differences in stature and age between any man in any group of three, when we are lined up in just a vest and jockeys we are instantly identifiable as males.
Today I have older men that talk with me, they provide me with male to male support and guidance helping shape and inform better this whole matter of being one free from feminine influences, teaching me to hold my own as a male.
And in 2019 I feel good about being obviously a sex, being a male among others and being regarded as one by all. I identify as one with no ifs, buts or maybes.
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