Resumption and restoration

By now schools here *should* of resumed and thoughts around that apply in this life too also surface and those things we may of learned along this journey.

For many of us things resumed after finding or wearing out our last official uniform via the school uniform department with a quick furtive look and a dash to the tills with some story or other in the back of our minds should the sales person ask about them.

We'd hope there was enough stretch in the waist as waists tended to be smaller and it was rare for stores to stock proper school short trousers over 32" waist.

The modern world is a bit different big waist and fits are easier to find but often they are much longer than we had.

One pair of mine has started to show clear wear and the one thing along this trip we've learnt for me the length needs to be brief to have the transformative impact of taking out any adult sense pulling me well back into boyhood.

Thus I have a new pair ALTERED as the ad suggests as required for a adult boy put in three inch inside leg shorts of suitable brevity for regular schoolboy wear outside of those places that may need something a bit longer for acceptance such as church or family gatherings.

That state where with a bit of care I can be adult but child me free from pressures I can't be dealing with has been the gain I badly needed and for me radically taking them up to the length I had in juniors has helped so much.

The focus of the Tumblr

 

Working on the renewed and repositioned Tumblr we spoke of last week inserting the posts I wanted and getting it to the point we have now 600 posts on it really gets you into thinking exactly what is really about because so much water has gone under the bridge from when I first made a LB/ASB account with almost all legacy accounts gone apart from the messed up one.

The first thing to say is, nearly all of the old ASB scene on Tumblr is dead as in either as I experienced accounts deleted dead or dead as in seldom if ever updated from a few years back if they still exist.

My start point is really quite simple which is to say the appeal of school uniform comes from being a boy of the age who wore it to school but whose boyhood was more than just being a schoolboy in the literal sense.

It is the love of being the adult boy of ten that I am and the age appropriate life for someone who has age dysphoria as a everyday permanent thing rather than as role playing a schoolboy particularly when it revolves more about getting school discipline rather than learning, play or just enjoying life with the outlook of that ten year old.

Thus it is about Boyhood, the boyhood of the past I recall, the boyhood of todays bio-boys not more adult k1nk role playing stuff in the widest sense nor about strictly age regression (aka agere) because the bottom line is being how I am it is involuntary.

You can try to mask it, try to pass it off as something else but it's always there, always on directing your interests and having its needs that align to that of a actual boy of your developmental age.

A boy like me can and does present in casual ways as any actual ten year old does with casual attire, sporty clothes but equally I do wear only short trousers often in a way that mirrors smart casual if not school uniform most of the time.

I'm not seen nor regarded as fully adult in the wider community, a literal adult but child even though I am respected very much for what I have done in adult roles within it and they have stepped up, looking out for me as that boy.

With that in mind the only posts on there will be just those that align to that which may include some vintage pictures of childhood but it won't be a blog of picture after picture of boys from the past.

The blog will be child friendly, being run by an adult child and careful when it comes to sources of reblogged images but won't be part of any formal age regression community even though it will be safe for them to reblog from.

It won't be as TSB was on the outset a ASB blog.

This last weeks lesson

Last week I was away, the first time for absolutely ages and I have heard of people feeling that in some ways lockdown changed them cos so many old routines and contacts were broken and with them how they see themselves.

Regulars know how over the years I've been stepping out from other peoples mistaken ideas about me since this blog started and specifically the period I first joined ASB and had my first Tumblr account and lockdown with me saw the realization that I was not age regressing to cope with adult life as good as that is for some but in reality it was I was Age Dysphoric, a adult according to the law but in reality very much a child all of the time emotionally and functionally.

I decided to travel and arrive at where I was going to be just as the boy I remain with few concessions to the attitudes and norms of grown ups cos let's be honest I am not one. 

Travelling up through Preston I stopped as friend had some stuff to pick up on route as I got some interesting looks and a smile from l'd say was a the mother of a mid teen girl as she parked next to our car with me in uniform and pretty visible.

Walking around was fun meeting hikers in shorts but more the Chino or Khaki sorts rather than mine with blue turn over tops and green garter sashes showing, talking about the weather feeling more like a ten year old by with his minder at hand to answer anything groan up as my thighs got wet.

I played with games and took an Action Man with me together with the Beano Summer Special, this weeks regular Beano and The Phoenix.

The one thing the I'd take away from the experience was just feeling comfortable in my own skin as the "eternal boy" looking as I did without a care and that in accordance with my boyhood era, this time only wearing much shorter shorts complete with matching blazer and blue striped turn over socks looking every inch a little ten year old boy.

In so many ways I have ceased to have a external adult presence with that now aligning with how I truly am internally.

Christopher knows who is is now: A little boy of ten and nothing more and glad to be one

Moving on into 2021

In this anything that doesn't quite slot into the either the original blog or that uniformed schoolboy sometimes I do publish some kind of a reflection on the year and other times I just don't.

I suppose the first thing to say was the year was challenging when every single tumblr account of mine was terminated and equally two months later so was my Wordpress blogs so not only did I lose a bunch of Tumblr blogs, I also lost the back ups for them.

That was the reason why having found it, I restored the original blog to provide some of the history and background that never was in that uniformed school boy and that would function more as a tumblr replacement.

I did re-establish That Traditional Schoolboy (TSB) on Tumblr, an age regression centred one (That Smol Boy) and a more general facts, adventure and boyhood interests on (A Traditional Schoolboy) but I am under no illusion that what goes up can go down and that the only way to publish securely what I want is on my own blogs.

That fact does limit what I can post and the ability to publish sequences of posts  without being misunderstood before being terminated.

One facet of this blog tends to be discussion around what boyhood means, past issues around how that affects self image and recovery from all of that which in last year had the struggles of living with Coronavirus restrictions added to the mix.

For all that Coronavirus brought, I moved past many of those issues facing fears head on, exploring and actually enjoying being that boy all over again as with much of the community off work or working from home our worlds crossed and I was accepted for just being that, getting on with life, following the guidance.

I did get away at the start of the year with adventures that in hindsight set me up for the remainder and it was the year that I decided to take the plunge and go back not to just boyhood in so many of its trappings but also to have my shorts taken a good way up to where they were back then.

Mine had been like many of biological age boys of today on or only just above the knee short trousers because they were not long (yuck) but nothing like the short trousers we had then or even adults did wear a leisure wear in the mid nineties.

To be out as I was a week before Christmas exploring, scrambling on your knees in the winter sun with most of legs exposed glistening is and was so evocative of that time I felt just like a ten or possibly twelve year old boy just playing outdoors.

Short trousers of that length are so me, something I feel comfortable in my own skin wearing that I can't see myself wearing except in the most adverse conditions anything else that indeed that's what I'm wearing typing this with temperatures at minus two degrees c.

I did talk a bit across the year about the need to respect and provide separate spaces for boys and men as much as we all would agree equality of opportunity helping us grow as people which I certainly have this last year

It's been very much a boys own year for me learning to embrace and enjoy the male world being out with people and channelling those more masculine interests I had back then and indeed one are where it showed was just a few days ago. 

I had long missed my original action man figures, something I fondly recall playing both on my own and with other boys with, the memory of clearly showing that the odd untypical interest aside, I was just like every other boy of my era.

Well, I finally got a replacement for Christmas and  undoing it took my right back to that era, dressed as I was in school uniform with short trousers in the company of my parents on Christmas day opening it, I was smiling again.

My boyhood hero and I were reunited as one. Boy and Man back together, playing having fun.

2021 cannot be anything like the period before I found ASB and that came back too and Tumblr because I have moved on so much in that time certain of being just a regular boy in a adult body who loves being himself.

Reclaiming space

This week as we are about to enter another month and ASB Mark 2 goes fully open after a short period of beta invites which I was pleased to have had at the outset I do return to one function of the original ASB which was the extent to which it gave more a much need confidence boost around being ASB and a Boy learning to be myself in the circle of others, part of the pack.

That was at a time of much personal turmoil and saw me moving from just wearing grey shorts with everyday wear to moving over to a very much a fully uniformed ASB from the traditional socks and underwear to school shirts and tie as a regular thing indoors and out and especially more with friends.

Increasingly I moved away from circles that had much to do with that turmoil and anything I wore around them to the point in many respects I no longer recognize that person I was in 2017 and 18.

As we passed through last year to what with the impact of Covid on our lives and movements was the highlight of February's week of boyish exploration, scouting and train spotting and journeys one thing I started to feel was at least on me, my shorts didn't really feel as if they were shorts with being shorter when it comes to my height than a good number of teen boys.

In many respects I am a just below teen LB to whom the actual experience of being ten or eleven in the last school year where short trousers were school uniform was different and with the relaunch of ASB and discussion at my own forum and Misterpoll, I have decided to break with the shorts I had.

Apart from being not so well finished they were not lined in the way those I wore as a boy wore and equally those I wore then were Short Trousers finished as but shorter than trousers.

I have come to the conclusion that like a good number of LB/ASB's to wear shorts like and in the same way as that boy who could well of been me around twelve or thirteen from now on because they feel right projecting me as that LB of my era apart from feeling better on me.

I am now wearing shorts that do show more of my thighs that with my long proper turn over socks and garters do expose more of my skin to fresh air and sun and feel more comfortable.

They are the shorts and socks I wore as a boy confident to have his inside leg taken up at least four inches from where it was and feeling the better for it.

Going back is going to be the going forward from now on.

I have the right...

to Structure

Something I wish to talk about this week  is the role of Structure within LB/ASB life.

Something that isn't said enough is what enables you to let out your LB/ASB side is that somebody else handles the responsibilities so you need not concern yourself with them, that in other words you do not have to be your own adult (assuming you are fully capable of it).

That totally frees you up to be that adult child because you know, you cannot, will not even be allowed to fall because the "responsible adult" be they a Caregiver in a DD or DM/lb relationship or the Cglre  Dxlb or Mxlb x taking out the "Dominant" with the BDSM kink overtones and in effect making it more paternalistic "Daddy or Mummy" 2 (adult) little boy or a ASB school centred Teacher/Head Teacher steps in ensuring you do not come to any harm.

You are that little boy to them and you will allow them to address you as such.

They also by consent deal with handling any dangerous, rude or otherwise risky behaviour  on your part by stepping in and being the one who disciplines you whither or not it it involves any or no corporal punishment.

The point is, by providing that structure, they enable you to be just you, the adult little boy just being a boy knowing he'll be cared for, safe and not likely to get into situations that work against his needs.