This last weeks lesson

Last week I was away, the first time for absolutely ages and I have heard of people feeling that in some ways lockdown changed them cos so many old routines and contacts were broken and with them how they see themselves.

Regulars know how over the years I've been stepping out from other peoples mistaken ideas about me since this blog started and specifically the period I first joined ASB and had my first Tumblr account and lockdown with me saw the realization that I was not age regressing to cope with adult life as good as that is for some but in reality it was I was Age Dysphoric, a adult according to the law but in reality very much a child all of the time emotionally and functionally.

I decided to travel and arrive at where I was going to be just as the boy I remain with few concessions to the attitudes and norms of grown ups cos let's be honest I am not one. 

Travelling up through Preston I stopped as friend had some stuff to pick up on route as I got some interesting looks and a smile from l'd say was a the mother of a mid teen girl as she parked next to our car with me in uniform and pretty visible.

Walking around was fun meeting hikers in shorts but more the Chino or Khaki sorts rather than mine with blue turn over tops and green garter sashes showing, talking about the weather feeling more like a ten year old by with his minder at hand to answer anything groan up as my thighs got wet.

I played with games and took an Action Man with me together with the Beano Summer Special, this weeks regular Beano and The Phoenix.

The one thing the I'd take away from the experience was just feeling comfortable in my own skin as the "eternal boy" looking as I did without a care and that in accordance with my boyhood era, this time only wearing much shorter shorts complete with matching blazer and blue striped turn over socks looking every inch a little ten year old boy.

In so many ways I have ceased to have a external adult presence with that now aligning with how I truly am internally.

Christopher knows who is is now: A little boy of ten and nothing more and glad to be one

Up with Rules!

I was reading a piece on popular CGLRE regression site around around rules and punishments in a non-sexual relationship which raised a few eyebrows with me to the point I decided I could not reblog that on Tumblr simply because it isn't where I am at.

Unlike them I disagree entirely with the proposition rules don't work and detesting the very nature of punishments. 

They seem to feel it's just kink or power grabbing thing to say a little needs rules and instead feel say a bedtime should be seen as a guidance, something you to do and if you do not then you should bear the consequence of being too tired to function, of missing out on a planned activity.

I would agree consequences have a place in the scheme of things but when you are like that, you are placing a need on a Caregiver to keep an eye on you, you may cause them to missing going someplace possibly with others  with you that may be hard to reschedule if at all.

They seem to think all punishments arise from anger with you rather than disappointment or concern with how you acted or failed to exercise responsibility and from that argue that to act from fear of punishment is a bad thing.

The point is it should cause you to think about how you acted affected what happened, the rubbish that wasn't taken out that built up, the poor marks from not working in class that meant you let yourself and others down and so on.

Now what those punishments should be in the context of non sexual cglre age regression lead Caregiver/little relationships ought to be discussed and reviewed frequently to the agreement of all nor should that be the sole focus of such discussions as things such as establishing aim to work on when it comes to independence, gaining maturity within your limits and helping out ought to be in there too.

It may not include physical punishments such as spanking although it is something I gladly accept but could include loss of privileges, use of natural consequences and so on.

The point is to try to help you be the best you can and to fit in with everyday norms so you can have as full a life as possible as that adult  little boy or girl  and to understand how your actions effect not only you but others. 

Love and understandings in middle/little space

Sometimes the talk with a friend on Fur Affinity has an effect that goes beyond their initial context such as an abdl comic where topics arise within a page and some discussion in its comments box  takes part to which I have post a few observations but as I didn't wish to put highly personalized ones in there I thought It'd set them out here instead.
When a person sets out in their little/middle age regressed to build not so much on being emotionally that person playing but in the return of those structures and relating patterns that more mirror those of child to Parent such as a "Caregiver/little" there can be a difference between your sense of needing and wanting it as that little and being ready emotionally for the 'rolling back' when it comes to having that final say and how you are to to present yourself in their company.
This is something that the Caregiver needs to be aware of, talking through respecting limits even if over time they may change not seeing this as a automatic disrespect issue between little and Caregiver and treated accordingly
This is something in a less structured matter of fact way is talked through  between those adults in my life who assume Caregiver roles and myself all the time so they know my limits and I am clear on what we have agreed on.

When in their company I am very much that little/middle and this is my relating style personified not least when there is any question as to my conduct to the as Caregiver(s) very much their 'child' to whom all this happens not just because it is the authentic me but because they love me so much that they enable that side to present being in my grey shorts and socks and be acted on by them as that child.

As that 'child' they look after me with all those expectations and rules that I stand attentively  deferring to them as my adult authorities as they scold and spank me as they feel appropriate.

Sometimes it is hard for some to understand that actually that allowing me that space to be and present as little/middle me and this other side are connected but actually they are.

Their scolding and spanking me is a reflection their love for me, that they know I can do better and need to be corrected to move me on, the very same love that allows me to be little me.

My spanked bottom is an a sign of that that we all should be glad of.