Last week I was away, the first time for absolutely ages and I have heard of people feeling that in some ways lockdown changed them cos so many old routines and contacts were broken and with them how they see themselves.
Regulars know how over the years I've been stepping out from other peoples mistaken ideas about me since this blog started and specifically the period I first joined ASB and had my first Tumblr account and lockdown with me saw the realization that I was not age regressing to cope with adult life as good as that is for some but in reality it was I was Age Dysphoric, a adult according to the law but in reality very much a child all of the time emotionally and functionally.
I decided to travel and arrive at where I was going to be just as the boy I remain with few concessions to the attitudes and norms of grown ups cos let's be honest I am not one.
Travelling up through Preston I stopped as friend had some stuff to pick up on route as I got some interesting looks and a smile from l'd say was a the mother of a mid teen girl as she parked next to our car with me in uniform and pretty visible.
Walking around was fun meeting hikers in shorts but more the Chino or Khaki sorts rather than mine with blue turn over tops and green garter sashes showing, talking about the weather feeling more like a ten year old by with his minder at hand to answer anything groan up as my thighs got wet.
I played with games and took an Action Man with me together with the Beano Summer Special, this weeks regular Beano and The Phoenix.
The one thing the I'd take away from the experience was just feeling comfortable in my own skin as the "eternal boy" looking as I did without a care and that in accordance with my boyhood era, this time only wearing much shorter shorts complete with matching blazer and blue striped turn over socks looking every inch a little ten year old boy.
In so many ways I have ceased to have a external adult presence with that now aligning with how I truly am internally.
Christopher knows who is is now: A little boy of ten and nothing more and glad to be one
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