Thoughts from away

The week's been  a bit different for spending time with friends doing things together which to me this whole life is really about rather than just how many times you can put on a uniform or some other outfit because its what you do that brings the sense of being that boy forever out much more I feel.

It is the invoking of the spirit of your boyhood past, what made you 'tick', feeling your whole mind and body was very much alive and allowing that to return to you after years of having to appear grown up but not actually feeling as one with it to being that boy all over again.

Now it is the case not everybody can be living like this all day long because people may have relationships to maintain, jobs to go to that may have dress code restrictions and so on but even spending sometime as that boy reaps dividends

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As well for reason only known to them Tumblr restored after nine months my original Traditional Schoolboy 2  blog after nuking it in November 2018 which I wrote about on here which I guess is better late than never.
A link to it is Here *

I do need to think through it's medium to long term future because I did in effect replace it even if most the images were not as it was too sudden to have a back up of as having multiple Tumblr accounts is messy.

*  altered 2021 after original account removed to replacement that has most of the posts but was renamed.

Certified disabled

Well this weeks had a few damp patches in it with showers mixed in with sunshine and my Fur Affinity account being down for a about a day and bit due to some computer database thing or other.
In with the good stuff has been one of my Wordpress tumblr backups seems to gathering a following all by itself although I've scarcely promoted it rather like with here actually so I'm kind of pleased by it.
The bigger thing has been to do with an assessment I wrote a little about on here because of some changes about the money I get to help with me deal with my disabilities was changing and I had to apply for a new system.
Well that has finally been sorted  out and I've been given a full award for a long time with little more than brief checking I'm no better than I was at the end of it which is as good as it gets really.
Fun thing was that I was dressed as a adult little boy  in my shorts and that for that assessment which took me back to how bits of this started as a boy being examined , trying to get help for school work as well as help at home as I needed more help than most boys did so when home my folks could have a break and the battle to be accepted as being disabled, sometimes falling through what some people saw it as.
in 2019 an adult little boy of ten mental years is classed as fully disabled.

Moving ahead

This week I took delivery of a traditional laptop as the old one had died which had been used for working on pictures, downloads and making copies of my own music cds and it also was as old as some that malaise I had.

I decided at the outset to make this very much the machine of this boy so the screen saver rather than being some girlish anime series  is one very much of boys and I reviewed and trimmed down every bookmark so it only has on those sites which are more suited to the real me rather than those that were ailing me.

Things are going better at the music site as I'm dealing with past threads  which were around eleven or so years old so only a small number of current members might recall by making some newer ones to drive a few off the first page so that in time my more openly male identity will become more prevalent should anyone look beyond just the twenty or so current posts.

Ideally I'd love to be able edit a few of those threads but instead I'm going to hold my head up tall and show I've moved on.

One member reminded me in a post about a past member who no longer is around of how it was ten or so years ago more a "boys own club" which in someways it was with "Hot females" posts in Off Topic which did to be fair get a bit cringe worthy.

In other ways it is pretty much remains a boys own club with a male code of behaviour and in jokes to which females are more accepted on our terms which I'm more comfortable with. 

Coming out with being a boy

This week I've been out into town as I had left over from my Birthday a W H Smiths book voucher from a relative who was of that generation which not just bought things from an actual store but also used specialist stores rather than catch all supermarket chains that might say sell a limited range of books and other odds and ends like bags and so on.

The thing about book and most other sorts of vouchers is they can't be redeemed even though their own online stores and when one massive bookstore I loved going into from childhood shut down over a year ago you can't be sure they have in the book you may want whereas just entering it in any online store or site such as Amazon gives you an instant result.

I just headed to the children's section, not that today they label it as such  - you just see the signs, 5-8 9+ and the "Teens" - and gravitate toward the racks and pick up what you need which was two books, one about a ten year old boy evacuee who forms a forms a friendship with a man who takes him in and a book on the story of Harry Kane of Arsenal from boyhood to ace goalscorer. The one thing both have in common is they are about boyhood dreams and hopes.

It was also a week where I made further progress with that site account contributing to a discussion on male underwear in a sub forum where they talk about things that aren't about music and what you use to listen to it.

It wasn't as much how much I had to say about it so much as I affirmed my gender by openly referring to my most intimate attire in front of everyone including female members in a simple matter of fact way.

Metaphorically I took my pants down and let my gender out.

Tearing down some of that malaise from the past, learning to be openly proud of my boyishness and my manhood, to associate with and let others associate you with being male is the progress I am making.

Progress

As Monday saw us enter July, as is my usual want I marked Canada Day (what I was brought up as "Dominion Day") with friends talking away and listening to things.

Things have been going fairly well here where I have worked on my Wordpress Blog versions of my Tumblrs where around late last year and in the first few days of this, They were imported, a fancy term for being copied over as is, from Tumblr to Wordpress using a software tool because of problem of posts being removed and the still real issue of accounts just being terminated at random with no prior warning.
One problem with the importer is it seemed to lose reblogged images and also somehow to have corrupted the database which in simple terms means if wish to edit the post, perhaps captioning it which is usual on a traditional blogging structure you can't cos while it is showing you can't open it up.
This meant spending some time tidying some entries up adding by hand the missing images and where possible remaking posts that couldn't be edited and if a post couldn't be tided up and wasn't necessary as perhaps I had talked about it before, deleting it.
As I mentioned on Friday on the main blog, I now have a Chromebook which is made by Asus for Junior/Prep School boys (and girls) which starts up like lightning and by making it synchronize bookmarks and passwords means no faffing about managing them on two or more machines.
One of the accounts predates my original Tumblr and certain aspects of it reflected the mired world I was in at the time so I remade parts of it such as changing the account avatar from a generic anime image to that of a real boy, using real initials, marking myself down as Male rather than 'rather not tell' and name for the user ID and changing the wallpaper to something more Masculine.
This is matching the changes I made at the music forum where increasingly my posts are become more obviously male having come out as 'male' there too and increasingly I am bonding more and more with men.
One indication of which is I contributed to a off topic thread about growing beards which is something I'd never of done in recent past and where the original poster made reference to wishing to show more of his masculinity by such acts which would indicate in some respects I'm not alone.
The difference in this is for me in that time I was with ASB and joined Tumblr I have learned to embrace my maleness and to increasingly feel confident in asserting my innate masculinity which while I'm shaven I do keep my natural body hair intact and visible and am increasing acting on my masculine instincts.