Of updates and stuff

Phew! It's been a warm week here I've been able to leave the coat off for a number of days as I played out for an hour or so each day.
I've been a bit busy working on my Schoolboy Forever Wordpress which is really a kind of fail safe for as and when Tumblr axes my The Traditional Schoolboy 2 tumblr as they axed its original version in November of last year without warning so I imported that into a longstanding Wordpress account.
One aspect is obviously copying over the posts usually images from it on a regular basis to keep this fail safe fairly up to date another has been for being a long form blogging platform, it has enabled my to write a bit about topics related to those images that expand on what is portrayed.
Somehow in the rush to reblog - and tumblr favours reblog over repost with credits - because it is socially felt to be wrong to add commentary to someone post this doesn't happen even though in  at least 90% of cases the original poster didn't hold image rights so it's not that you're passing them off as your own work.
In  a related vein, I've done some similar work with the Scouting related That Traditional Schoolboy 2 reblogging to the Scouting and Me blog on blogger except usually on that I tend to post on the blogger account and then post over to Tumblr.
Really that's an exploration of Scouting and its ethos as it applies in my life rather than just parade after parade of scouting related images as I prefer something that is more personality centred with a message.

Recentring

It's the start of the morning here so I thought I'd  make a bit of a start on this weeks entry working through the various things on my mind.

I think the first thing to say is I feel more vulnerable emotionally today than I have for a good many years between the feelings brought out from the previous week, the never ending inter communal supremely childish discourse on Tumblr around trans politics, having a remove and I'm blocking you attitude for being in the "wrong" community as defined by them order and having our age regression  questioned by an exclusive group of ...age regressors!

Toss in the rumblings of an English FA youth soccer investigation into abuse by a man who lived but 100 yards away from me from whose face I can still recall with a shudder and you get the picture,eh?

I just feel very much in need of a hair rustling and a hug, just to know everything will be okay and in fact I'll just colour and play with my stuffies I think cos that'll help recentre me to a point I feel good rather like the "Restore" point on a Windows computer helps when the software don't work right you restore the operating system to a earlier point where it does!

That for me always was and is where age dysphoria was at rather than anything really adult and why generally things had been running that much better for me over the last few years cos I worked more with what's right for me rather than performing an act of impersonating others and falling badly when the real life developmental issues plowed into reality, leaving me an emotional mess.

In so many ways the way I see my relating pattern is very much that of a boy to man and never as man to man so men invariably become my adult authority figures whatever age might be suggested by my birth certificate with them very much setting the example and guiding me as uncle/father to son and disciplining as adult male to boy which is the natural order of things.

I may not be around some sites as much as had but I think this is really what I need right now and that's why I've gone away this  last week for a few days .

Tension

One contribution to how you are feeling and by extension how you may behave  under its influence is the other things that are going on in your world and an increasing area I find is in the online world.
On social media in particular, groups fragment periodically with the segmented part starting a battle in part to justify to whoever is listening  just why they split off and to blacken the name of the very group not so long ago they were proud to be a member of.
You see people who for medical/disability based reasons unable to withstand endless negative and aggressive discourse actively pouring oil on the fires who fail to see after just saying why the don't like interaction with one group, make accusations often baseless just to enjoy watching the fireworks.
This week last for instance someone triggered an investigation into my main age regression Tumblr that's so safe for work and minor friendly you'd wonder like how someone could feel justified in do so even thoug when looked at by actual people it was restored as it was.
I find this not just troubling from how it has left certain communities feeling just interacting with anyone is just like walking on eggshells but also I find it spills over into me feeling disheartened about being the age regressed person I am and times seeping into feeling on edge with people.
That's one reason sometimes I limit the amount of time I'm on and make a point of doing things more positive like reading an uplifting story instead.

We assume control

After last weeks snow activity as shown on the other blog including gathering up snow in  my hand and throwing snowballs it's all gone for a bit at least and actually I thought I saw a crocus coming up this morning while I was out as it's now a little milder.
I still have a fair amount of work to do on the reacquired  tumblr although I have done some basic stuff like removing no longer needed links and some unneeded posts  when it comes to the back catalogue of posts and resumed as I mean to go on with new ones from this month around the interests and themes I have in mind for it long term.
Ultimately it will take to sort through posts although it's original owner has got their own more or less sorted it's just being a primary you can't just delete it and resume as it takes all blogs on with and in hindsight it would of been better to offered a secondary but what was done is done.
Still it feels great to have it all back.

Age Regression Therapy Treatment

After the ten months since I found ASB.org and established an account on Tumblr one outstanding issue over a blog on the account run by another has been resolved with that being handed back to me as they've made their own.

This has meant I've taken more consideration over just where everything around this life has been and is likely to headed for the foreseeable feature.

I am being placed under Age Regression Therapy which means nearly everything is being taken back to a childhood state where virtually all adult aspects of life are going from my life from now on.

I will from now on be treated like a child by my parents in a strict but loving fashion and where I will be treated by all other adults as a child.

This has been agreed because I am a little boy who has not become an adult despite my chronological age and so continue to need the same handling while being afford the opportunity to learn to be more responsible as that little boy by being given a second chance.

As part of this treatment, I am to wear full time schoolboy attire which is appropriate for a boy under fourteen years of age including being kept in shorts indoors and out, wearing boys long socks and subject to inspection.

I am also to accept whatever reasonable chastisement may be necessary as little boy be it verbal or otherwise from the responsible adults who are going to care for me as if I'm a (chronological) child.

Birdsong at 4 is a nice thing as I'm still battling with trying to keep obsessive computer use under control as I have these totally obsessive urges to pursue a  line of thought to its conclusion or continue with something to its very end no matter how much time it is taking up or indeed into what the time really is. Thanks why I need a spanking at times.

It's probably connected to how autism works in me, like I can be so undermotivated at times to do something and at others when I'm not it's 180 degrees the opposite so yes it's nice not to be up before five not hearing the  an on the computer but the birds in the wood.

This is to aid me help me learn (and relearn) the skills I do need while in a social setting that ensures I am treated as developmentally I am so I am as independent as I can be while accepting I will never be an adult functionally.

The caught up week

I am so reminded of this as for me this whole pose is a default of mine like when at the weekend I was playing with my lego finding it so relaxing I even sent my digger along daddy's shoe which was so kid like it was unbelievable!
Thanks to that I found enough energy within myself to get a lot of things done so I can take the week steady enjoying yesterday's snow flurries coming down in big white flakes although I'll need to watch out for ice this morning as it is cold.
Thankfully one false blog flagging at Tumblr was resolved within eight eight minutes of communication just because the A.I system took offence at an avatar change as I completed a set of changes planned before the current situation and getting my main one and the pure age regression one on 2mblr.com using their importer and backing one seconday and the main to Wordpress too in part to deal with an issue that's only going to get worse.
Tumblr encourages people to reblog rather than repost other peoples work but if the A.I system flags it, then until that person contests it and has it reinstated or if they don't but pull it, then your curated Tumblr soon gets holes where missing posts were.
What is worse if these are several years old but only just flagged, the person who posted may no longer be active so in effect you lose that post (and so does everyone else) messing up your blog.
In 99.9% of cases they would be restorable by Tumblrs own guidelines which is why I've taken to backing everything up which also is an insurance against losing any of my accounts which is what happened to mark 1 of TSB 2.

Thoughts on the week

The good news of the week is Edward is back having had his account pulled without any warning and with no flagged content whatsoever which while I missed him also showed I did not feel lost without him being around because I knew how to handle myself.

Do you know what? It's just been sleeting up here with humongous big chunks of white stuff falling down although it doesn't look like it's for sticking around at least on flat places lower down from some of neighbouring towns that tend to see more what stuff than we do although some say they roll downbank sledging toward us as the gradients are high.

I love terms like gradients, kind reminds me of geography teachers going on all about various land features like knolls and even had us reading ordinance survey maps as that was something apparently they had to teach us between spells of acting the goat. Mind you you're never without mapping if you can use a paper one and a compass rather than relying on GPS an that.

I wasn't too good Wednesday, feeling rather tired so I needed me lucazade and bed rest as much as really detest doing nothing so I had to stay here with me radio on quiet for company head on pillow drinking that stuff except for a bite to eat and obviously go the loo.

Thing was I had PLANS like starting on reading me copy of the Jungle Book with Mowgli the mancub and that so they were put on hold and remove a couple of worn shirts from my wardrobe apart from generally doing it out cos I don't know about you sometimes stuff can stay there forever regardless of condition like on of me old snake clasp belts.

I did get out a little yesterday for a walk which was good and all being well I'll have me footie strip on later on this week all being well for a kick about