The Christmas Truth Present

This week has been a challenging one in a number of ways with issues with and on Tumblr with false flagging and labelling, question marks about the future of TSB 2 and with some followers.
In another a chance conversation with a lady who was a part of my Junior School life to who I saw in the community after I left often when I returned to that school to see school plays by the new generation of Juniors, helping organizing raffles to raise funds and so on got me thinking.
Mrs Evans (ours was a generation that NEVER spoke to an adult by first name), happened to be out in her garden as having been out for walk watching nature and frankly regressing  I turned into her road.
She is eight-five years of age, worked was a helper at the school when I was there and lost her son in his early twenties trying to keep the peace with the British Army during "The Troubles" in Northern Ireland between the nationalists and unionists.
In the years since I left school she held a respected role in our community as found raiser for local concerns such as my junior school and the social club for the over 50's organizing coach trips to places. 
In these settings my connections with her were always renewed.
Walking toward the called me over with a "Good morning Christopher, how are you?" as then then enquired around how we and our families are and what they're up to.
It has be said I was dressed in my shorts and long socks with just a decent coat on given it is winter looking very much as the boy she encountered all those years ago except for being obviously taller.
I spoke to her in that boyish mindset especially as she enquired about christmas and before walking off thank her for talking by the non adult "Mrs Evans" title.
That conversation came from the adult boy in a community that being fairly stable knows me and my family  where many of my class and families still leave.
In my community for all of my disabilities, it's impact on employment it reminded me of a few important truths.
The first is my community sees me as a boy who found his place in it - they know me and know of my work in organizations in it, even leading it and took up his responsibility to himself and to the stewardship of his community.
I am known by name and have their respect. 
They know and respect the progress I made in being able to do just that mastering my disabilities the very best I could and that far from so easily being passive and detached from the community I rose to the challenge and got stuck in doing things others did not.
It is also a community that accepts a harsh truth that is in certain respects I remain that boy but values how that combination of more mature abilities and child-like mindset has enabled me to contribute something of value to all.
The adult but boy on the street they see in his shorts is an asset to his community.

That's torn it!

The week had got off to a good start making progress in the re-establishment of the Traditional Schoolboy 2 tumblr gaining a good number of followers as one thing about the original that I didn't like was their being a spate of kink/bdsm/porn blogs following and then having to delete and occasionally report them.
Equally the main one, gained 320 followers and clocked 1,600 posts in the just under 8 months being on that platform which is quiet some achievement really.
One thing that did happen this week is I tore my cargo shorts or perhaps more accurately they were a bit worn and *something* I did caused a tear from where one panel was sown at the bottom of the seat and the material seemed threadbare so sowing it up wouldn't really solve the problem.
I think I had had these for a good six years at least and so I have bought a replacement set of shorts and moved a blue pair over for everyday play wear that happen to be a little bit shorter which probably is a good thing as it does look and dare I say feel more traditional on me without going into 'short shorts' territory. 
I also got totally drenched on Monday when I went out to play, got up to the furthest point I normally walk up to as the heavens opened with rain bouncing off the road that much I was struggling to see what was in front of me.
My coat and its hood got wet as did my grey long socks and the lower legs of my shorts plus the shoes so I spent time having to dry them all out.
I had to take them off to dry myself off with a thick towel and change my shorts and socks, the latter being so wet you could seen lots of water coming out when I wrung them out over the sink

Thanksgiving and Tumblr

The week has been and gone pretty much with remaking the Traditional Schoolboy2 being a priority with me and so far I've got over 130 posts on it, redoing the about with a stricter indication of who it's for and that doesn't include sissies and reinstating the original header.
I managed to get a near original url for it too which is nice but as it seems Tumblr do look at certain tags I've decided with some reluctance not to bother tagging posts for that Tumblr and discontinue tagging anything outside of purely regressive alb/asb posts on the main Tumblr.
Talking of which I have got that one tethered to two separate accounts  outside the main one so in the event of my main account being removed, the other two will remain together with the group blog.

Getting more to what I'd sooner blog about on here unlike the other Blog, it's the time of you one thinks of the things and people that have sustained me across the year one has to include God, without him answering my prayers quite simply this blog would not be here because I almost died.
I have to include the people in the local health service who acted swiftly to deal with the infection that was killing me and the follow up work.
Many people have helped across this year and I guess the person I owe much for is Sammy who accepted me as I arrived on Tumblr a bit confused around how I saw myself who supported me as I started to explore my childhood past as we discovered there was very much a boy in one who if a bit different in someways was most certainly masculine and confident in it.
By challenging me and calling out what he considered to be wrong turns he got me to think about how I felt rather than just saying "well some people do" or "Its okay be different" I did not set about copying him but arriving at my own understandings of what is masculine behaviour for me I learned to take control, detaching myself from acquired overtly feminine habits, behaviours and attitudes that had made me feel off. 
Feeling good about being a male and boy is great and that is truly worth being thankful of.

Letting off steam

The week did not get off to the best of starts as the secondary Tumblr inexplicably got nuked even though content wise it was very safe for work, being just about past boyhood, age regression and wearing school clothing with not one mention of spanking, anything sexual or kink related.

Similarly Charlie had his Growing Up In Lederhosen tumblr nuked to when all that was old pictures of boys in lederhosen not unlike a postcard album or scrapbook again totally sfw and non sexual and yet real hard core porn is accepted?

Neither of us had a message to say we'd been 'terminated' and why.

Makes me question what Tumblrs real values are.

Anyway I do have something to say about gender and blow it I'm just darn well saying it.

Although I am very much on a more traditional masculine side and do genuinely believe for the the majority of boys this is very much the right path for them I do have time for that minority who find in terms of their gender identity, presentation and roles they need to transition to being a girl and a woman so long as it isn't done in such a way as to deny the majority of us our identity as males.

One thing I will just come out and say is this the kind of boyhood some of us knew however as individuals we may of expressed it seems under attack from people who don't feel boyhood and masculinity exist and to the extent they are acknowledged even it is totally negative.

One side effect of this has been the encouragement of overtly feminine forms of gender expression, identity and social behaviour and discouragement of anything that smells of maleness for boys.

I do intensely dislike the attempt at pushing sissiness, a subculture of Female Supremacists and  willing males who were not unlike transexuals feeling they were 'female' and wanted to be seen as such 24/7 but wanting to be a parody of  the most soppy uber feminine female dressed in super frilly dresses revealing in deep humiliation.

They wanted to live in a world where ordinary males such as myself would be demasculinized, denied our place in the world where boys would be forced in to being gurls dressed like but treated as inferior to girls.

They are nothing to do with "Transgender" at all, just kinky gender humiliation.

I despise their simpering mincing effeminate ways.

The self hatred of their actual male selves was incredible for this was unlike people who just cross-dress as an act enjoying that moment as their alter ego but happy to revert to their male sides that I cannot help but be concerned as to why they feel this way and if it isn't part of the damage modern feminism has caused to males as having rightly fought for equal opportunities, pay and family planning, attacking the male side role, identity and social position and in effect degendering men has left some at risk of self hatred.

Remembrance Day

This week gone marked the 100th anniversary of the end of World War One with the signing of the Armistice and the order to cease all operations on the Eleventh Hour of the Eleventh Day of 1918.
This was marked here in Great Britain by special Remembrance Sunday services in the capitals of the 'home countries' of the United Kingdom and in towns and cities across the land.
I have been directly involved in regular remembrance day services laying on wreaths as a member of an organization and those encounters lead to me being sat by leaders from scouting and girl guiding and members from cubs, brownies, scouts and guides as we waited to file out to lay them wreaths in order.
Like all of us members do wear their own poppy  on the uniform and usually afterward we all would place them around the cenotaph to show our respect to those who gave their  lives for our freedoms.
Their being there is also an indication of how service in scouting helps prepare young people for playing an active part in their communities.

Lessons from being away

The origins of age dysphoria for me being clearly identifiable started around the ages of fifteen and sixteen although if you scratched the surface before you'd spot my 'younger than my years' mindset and a tendency to dress a bit younger than my peers.

This was before much of the confusion and misdirection from others in my life who thought they had a fix for me stepped in .

This was the point a part of my age dysphoric stash of clothes and odd item upon being discovered got removed as my folks thought it was all stuff I'd out grown although really this was more about their pretence I had even grown and their inability to just tell people because of my disabilities I was more of a child.

It may even been seen as shameful.

This week I had the opportunity to test out the extent to which mentally I had left that confusion and being pushed in forms of gender presentation others though more appropriate from the past with friends who had seen both who also are age regressors.

To a point any one can just switch attire and wear it unless it is it triggers a meltdown but it's really more how 'you' you feel in it that matters.

Switching between a more feminine form and a more traditional boys school outfit which were similar and a had a few common items I found myself far more comfortable in my own skin dressed in a  shirt, tie, shorts and grey ribbed boys socks being addressed clearly as a male in public.

It may also of been that this tied to the fact when I first started age regressing it was a that of a top junior around 10 that I went back to and that was whole uniform mode of dress including being able to put a proper school clip on tie on that meant when I did look in the mirror I liked that me a lot.

I looked smart and felt good about being that boy.

I think there's little argument now my engagement to boyhood really is what at the core I always was.

Radiating maleness

While I'm hoping for few hours outdoors when it stops raining I thought I'd post something

Going back to go forward almost seems to be a theme with me in that outside of wearing regular tailored school attire including school shorts, my spare time is also be spent very much in a mode I had recall from parts of my youth

.

That is to say my play attire is to be t shirts and 'classic' sports  nylon shorts with short white socks emphasize my boy status as far removed from young adult sophisticated classic sportswear from the likes of Fred Perry and co.

People say you can't do this or that and be male or female but you own your own personality traits which slot within the context of Gender but my sex is biologically set and determined by my physical body and no attempt at altering how that looks cosmetically changes a thing. 

The rumblings from above can be heard in the gloom at this time in the morning so I suspect we're having the warm very wet day the weather forecasters showed on their slots on tv and radio in the last few days so we can forget footie unless I want to come back covered head to toe in mud and soaked to the skin.

There's always Saturdays to keep up with the days many matches and how knows it may be a bit drier then too so I get out as I had to wait ages yesterday to find a dry twenty minutes or so go out without getting my shorts and socks wet after remembering where I'd put my key.

Lots of people see me about an that, like I even paid the milkman just being the adult with the mind set of that eternal ten year old and they just accept it.

The rush to embrace alternate notions of what you might be can sometimes seen in either the formation of alternative personas, difficulties in working out what is going on and said 'between the lines' if say your are autistic so you see them as "solving" the problem and then people find down that line actually they're still having these problems or they may be experiencing mental illness or distress.

I know what I am.

I haven't felt better in myself for years.