What I learned over the years

To be honest I've been still mulling over really  the emotional impact of being among people I knew specifically those I knew as either children or adults at school at Mr Cowe's funeral last Tuesday and really what I've learned over all those years.

There are some reflections I do feel the need to talk about about on here one is learning to be grateful for what people freely do for you such as the time seeing I was struggling at one railway station, a couple kindly offered to help carry my luggage and even checked when I got to the end of the stairwell I was all right who I no idea of. I thanked them profusely for caring so much and acting on it.

Then's there is the ability, however difficult I find it with being autistic to go to people I don't know, ask  if I may sit next to them and strike up a conversation about a common person in our lives, which I have got better at.

There's the people who kept an eye on me as I was feeling a little homesick where I stayed away several times, spending time with and the friend who knowing the sort of fiction I like, gave me a cherished book from their collection which they sure didn't have to and to which I didn't expect at all after giving them a action figure I thought they'd love.

You also recall how it was your friends dreamed of being things like racing drivers, football players and train drivers but settled later in life for something more mundane but worthwhile while, you just wanting to be around doing a "Good turn" got the role to do just that, caring for your community.

Then there is a friend of mine who kindly put me up, offering a cooked meal and a lift to the train coming back completely out of the blue, seeing I was on the right platform for my train to come in. Even when I found I simply could not eat the whole of their home made and cooked meal rather than just saying it was very nice-and it was was absolutely lovely- from nowhere I found myself apologizing to them for not finishing my meal clearly feeling contrite.

These acts of kindness really moved me but whereas in the past I'd of blocked out my emotions I thanked them properly for all those things they did not have to do,that I have no right to expect nor demand expressing my gratitude, revealing my sense of being humbled openly.

It also reminded me of the distance I had travelled from that young boy in reception class being cared for both in class and with being played with by older children at breaktimes, trying to make sense of it all to being able to play a big part in the wider community because they cared to help you that over time understand more of what and how this community thing worked and what caring really means.

There was time several years back when I was away with friends that while a few people needed a reminder to tidy up and put their plates in the dishwasher, I did not and indeed that I had was held up as an example for others to follow.

I think the one thing I can take away from this period is while I may still have some distance to go and the potential to relapse, the event did show I had moved on over the years, being responsible and how I'm being helped to change is really helping me.  

Two steps forward and one step back

 There were a few things I could write about this week but this is really the compelling one.

We all hoped as the weekend approached that our National team approached the finals of the Euro 2020 that the great work Neville Southgate had put in in managing the team thus far would lead to that elusive much sought after thing, a win in a final after fifty-five years.

It's been that long that although I have no recollection of it, it seems from the age I went to Infants we'd been looking for it for ages and we were up against an exceptional experienced  opponent who really had got it together from their first match.

A goal scored by Shaw in the second minute no less looked like it was going to set us up for that win we desperately wanted by having scored a a goal in the second half, Italy held us to a draw.

Then it happened, no progress being made by either us or the Italians we went into a penalty shoot out which our strikers lost at, penalties are something English player in particular always seem to struggle at and it was all over with.

A Three-Two win on penalties to Italy. 

For a side that had done so well, putting the everything into it as sad as that was, we couldn't of expected more from them.

Then the backlash started with frustrated fans racially abusing three of the strikers who'd missed on social media as if that had *anything* to do with it, something that at one point we thought we'd tackled but in the age of the armchair racist with his smartphone it has resurged and sadly this joyful sporting event even if we lost, was marred by this behaviour by so-called fans.

As far as I am concerned you're no fan of England, no patriot, if you attack racially your own sides players because they represent US and they are proud to do regardless of race and religion.

In this competition, religious and racial differences were put aside in communities where things haven't always been as harmonious as we all would of liked with people supporting as one, waving our flag together.

We were United and we all stand together in opposing racial abuse of our own countries team players.

Be the change.

The Christmas Truth Present

This week has been a challenging one in a number of ways with issues with and on Tumblr with false flagging and labelling, question marks about the future of TSB 2 and with some followers.
In another a chance conversation with a lady who was a part of my Junior School life to who I saw in the community after I left often when I returned to that school to see school plays by the new generation of Juniors, helping organizing raffles to raise funds and so on got me thinking.
Mrs Evans (ours was a generation that NEVER spoke to an adult by first name), happened to be out in her garden as having been out for walk watching nature and frankly regressing  I turned into her road.
She is eight-five years of age, worked was a helper at the school when I was there and lost her son in his early twenties trying to keep the peace with the British Army during "The Troubles" in Northern Ireland between the nationalists and unionists.
In the years since I left school she held a respected role in our community as found raiser for local concerns such as my junior school and the social club for the over 50's organizing coach trips to places. 
In these settings my connections with her were always renewed.
Walking toward the called me over with a "Good morning Christopher, how are you?" as then then enquired around how we and our families are and what they're up to.
It has be said I was dressed in my shorts and long socks with just a decent coat on given it is winter looking very much as the boy she encountered all those years ago except for being obviously taller.
I spoke to her in that boyish mindset especially as she enquired about christmas and before walking off thank her for talking by the non adult "Mrs Evans" title.
That conversation came from the adult boy in a community that being fairly stable knows me and my family  where many of my class and families still leave.
In my community for all of my disabilities, it's impact on employment it reminded me of a few important truths.
The first is my community sees me as a boy who found his place in it - they know me and know of my work in organizations in it, even leading it and took up his responsibility to himself and to the stewardship of his community.
I am known by name and have their respect. 
They know and respect the progress I made in being able to do just that mastering my disabilities the very best I could and that far from so easily being passive and detached from the community I rose to the challenge and got stuck in doing things others did not.
It is also a community that accepts a harsh truth that is in certain respects I remain that boy but values how that combination of more mature abilities and child-like mindset has enabled me to contribute something of value to all.
The adult but boy on the street they see in his shorts is an asset to his community.

Remembrance Day

This week gone marked the 100th anniversary of the end of World War One with the signing of the Armistice and the order to cease all operations on the Eleventh Hour of the Eleventh Day of 1918.
This was marked here in Great Britain by special Remembrance Sunday services in the capitals of the 'home countries' of the United Kingdom and in towns and cities across the land.
I have been directly involved in regular remembrance day services laying on wreaths as a member of an organization and those encounters lead to me being sat by leaders from scouting and girl guiding and members from cubs, brownies, scouts and guides as we waited to file out to lay them wreaths in order.
Like all of us members do wear their own poppy  on the uniform and usually afterward we all would place them around the cenotaph to show our respect to those who gave their  lives for our freedoms.
Their being there is also an indication of how service in scouting helps prepare young people for playing an active part in their communities.