End of Summer Review

Last post of August here on the Boy Talk so I'm feeling more reflective  which is what most of this blog will be plus things to do with this last week.

It's not been the best of starts to the week  suffering from a migraine that started  in the early hours of Monday and had not shifted yesterday either so not much happened short of staying in bed with my pj's on.

I'ma little better today but remain very groggy unfortunately.

First off I have been taking stock of my large music and video based collection, pruning it of duplicates and of things like box sets that you might only watch once in seven years and for the reminder of the time they just sit around gathering dust.

While its true compared to their older forms such as VHS tape or Eight track tapes they are slimmer it still doesn't a lot before it gets into sizable piles growing ever skyward! There is a limit to just how many of these things you can keep.

In general my general behaviour and attitudes have been pretty good although between next doors antics and that there's been enough provocation to set me off going by my past which shows I am maturing.

If I'm getting to the point of risky attitudes and the like, then I need a spanking to pull me back and I'd sooner that happens.

A good friend has been spending time off work exploring and will be returning by the time they read this as they messaged me Sunday during a gap which is nice but I'm glad in a way that they're not messaging me all that time because it's important for them as it is for me to learn to switch off, spend time with those that care for them while they're away and enjoy the time at the places they go.

Of course I miss them, truthfully I can think few people in my life I ever missed not being around to spend time with because they've taught a lot about life, is a person I care for deeply and has taught me things about myself even but in odd sort of way we have grown up together and are growing up as adult middles living the same sort of life.

That way of life is the one I feel best suits my actual needs helping me make the most of life with my disability centred limitations but at the same time helping me mature to a point that matches my emotional age and intelligence.

Up with Rules!

I was reading a piece on popular CGLRE regression site around around rules and punishments in a non-sexual relationship which raised a few eyebrows with me to the point I decided I could not reblog that on Tumblr simply because it isn't where I am at.

Unlike them I disagree entirely with the proposition rules don't work and detesting the very nature of punishments. 

They seem to feel it's just kink or power grabbing thing to say a little needs rules and instead feel say a bedtime should be seen as a guidance, something you to do and if you do not then you should bear the consequence of being too tired to function, of missing out on a planned activity.

I would agree consequences have a place in the scheme of things but when you are like that, you are placing a need on a Caregiver to keep an eye on you, you may cause them to missing going someplace possibly with others  with you that may be hard to reschedule if at all.

They seem to think all punishments arise from anger with you rather than disappointment or concern with how you acted or failed to exercise responsibility and from that argue that to act from fear of punishment is a bad thing.

The point is it should cause you to think about how you acted affected what happened, the rubbish that wasn't taken out that built up, the poor marks from not working in class that meant you let yourself and others down and so on.

Now what those punishments should be in the context of non sexual cglre age regression lead Caregiver/little relationships ought to be discussed and reviewed frequently to the agreement of all nor should that be the sole focus of such discussions as things such as establishing aim to work on when it comes to independence, gaining maturity within your limits and helping out ought to be in there too.

It may not include physical punishments such as spanking although it is something I gladly accept but could include loss of privileges, use of natural consequences and so on.

The point is to try to help you be the best you can and to fit in with everyday norms so you can have as full a life as possible as that adult  little boy or girl  and to understand how your actions effect not only you but others. 

Disability and childhood

One thing that really used to bug me as a boy growing up disabled is we were often invisible in the media with only Vision On really showing disability positively which perhaps was appropriate as that was a show aimed for and around Deaf People.

The Literary world was just as bad at the time reinforcing the idea we were just angelic objects requiring compassion and your cash rather than boys and girls who had disabilities.

This was one book that at least tried to portray physical disability as a boy positively showing how children when encouraged can adapt play, which is our social life to take into account the need of everyone in settings that should be rightly free from grown ups.

That's because all of us those of us who are disabled and those of you who are not need to learn to handle this as part our lives by ourselves and even to understand how we may treat others who we might rely on has consequences too.

A culture of entitlement on our part is no better than one of thing we're somebody else's problem on yours.

*Inspired by a tumblr post of July 2019 sadly no longer with us.

Reclaiming space

This week as we are about to enter another month and ASB Mark 2 goes fully open after a short period of beta invites which I was pleased to have had at the outset I do return to one function of the original ASB which was the extent to which it gave more a much need confidence boost around being ASB and a Boy learning to be myself in the circle of others, part of the pack.

That was at a time of much personal turmoil and saw me moving from just wearing grey shorts with everyday wear to moving over to a very much a fully uniformed ASB from the traditional socks and underwear to school shirts and tie as a regular thing indoors and out and especially more with friends.

Increasingly I moved away from circles that had much to do with that turmoil and anything I wore around them to the point in many respects I no longer recognize that person I was in 2017 and 18.

As we passed through last year to what with the impact of Covid on our lives and movements was the highlight of February's week of boyish exploration, scouting and train spotting and journeys one thing I started to feel was at least on me, my shorts didn't really feel as if they were shorts with being shorter when it comes to my height than a good number of teen boys.

In many respects I am a just below teen LB to whom the actual experience of being ten or eleven in the last school year where short trousers were school uniform was different and with the relaunch of ASB and discussion at my own forum and Misterpoll, I have decided to break with the shorts I had.

Apart from being not so well finished they were not lined in the way those I wore as a boy wore and equally those I wore then were Short Trousers finished as but shorter than trousers.

I have come to the conclusion that like a good number of LB/ASB's to wear shorts like and in the same way as that boy who could well of been me around twelve or thirteen from now on because they feel right projecting me as that LB of my era apart from feeling better on me.

I am now wearing shorts that do show more of my thighs that with my long proper turn over socks and garters do expose more of my skin to fresh air and sun and feel more comfortable.

They are the shorts and socks I wore as a boy confident to have his inside leg taken up at least four inches from where it was and feeling the better for it.

Going back is going to be the going forward from now on.