End of Summer Review

Last post of August here on the Boy Talk so I'm feeling more reflective  which is what most of this blog will be plus things to do with this last week.

It's not been the best of starts to the week  suffering from a migraine that started  in the early hours of Monday and had not shifted yesterday either so not much happened short of staying in bed with my pj's on.

I'ma little better today but remain very groggy unfortunately.

First off I have been taking stock of my large music and video based collection, pruning it of duplicates and of things like box sets that you might only watch once in seven years and for the reminder of the time they just sit around gathering dust.

While its true compared to their older forms such as VHS tape or Eight track tapes they are slimmer it still doesn't a lot before it gets into sizable piles growing ever skyward! There is a limit to just how many of these things you can keep.

In general my general behaviour and attitudes have been pretty good although between next doors antics and that there's been enough provocation to set me off going by my past which shows I am maturing.

If I'm getting to the point of risky attitudes and the like, then I need a spanking to pull me back and I'd sooner that happens.

A good friend has been spending time off work exploring and will be returning by the time they read this as they messaged me Sunday during a gap which is nice but I'm glad in a way that they're not messaging me all that time because it's important for them as it is for me to learn to switch off, spend time with those that care for them while they're away and enjoy the time at the places they go.

Of course I miss them, truthfully I can think few people in my life I ever missed not being around to spend time with because they've taught a lot about life, is a person I care for deeply and has taught me things about myself even but in odd sort of way we have grown up together and are growing up as adult middles living the same sort of life.

That way of life is the one I feel best suits my actual needs helping me make the most of life with my disability centred limitations but at the same time helping me mature to a point that matches my emotional age and intelligence.

The how and why issue

It's the beginning of a New Year  that follows on from the last so naturally I'll be in the course of the year writing about how I'm feeling and how my behaviour is shaping up but it's a good start to the year to consider what a important part of my regressed life is about.

It's to match my developmental needs to a way of training me to do more for myself, to learn and apply societal norms as much as they may need to consider and sometimes adjust to better accommodate those things I cannot alter.

This involves being given one on one guidance and tuition on everyday life skills so learn how to do performance tasks and from then on assume greater responsibility for meeting them and where it involves working with people accepting and working with their oversight with them having the final say.

Because of my tendency to be lost in the moment oblivious to risks, to have difficulty in crossing busy roads safely and communication based issues I accept other people have to assume certain responsibilities in caring roles with me.

Part of that is as the adult-child being cared for involves the use of spanking to deliver clear consequences where agreed breaches of attitudes and behaviours occur.

Within that relationship the following general rules apply to the carer in looking after me

1. Give Affection at Least at a Rate of 10 to 1. 
As the adult-child I have emotional needs such as to feel loved, wanted and cared for and to feel that from you as much as need you to spank me sometimes.

2. Never Spank a Adult-Child in Public. 
The act of disciplining is a private one between you and me that needs no extra public humiliation adding even if some of our friends know I am and I'm okay with that.

3. Never Use Excess Force.
The spanking I need needs itself to be proportional to what I have done, sufficient to deter me from that offence that I knew would bring it.

4. All Spanking Offenses Must Be Made Known in Advance, Carved in Stone, and Fully Understood.
It's important to know which of  those things that I do will result in a spanking, that there is consistency in your handling them and I have shown I understand the consequences of my actions.

If the going is tough, make eye contact with me. Say "Listen to me" "If you do x, I will spank you" and once it is clear I have understood that if I still do, then do it for me.

5. Be Truthful and Consistent, It Could Save a Life.
A relationship where you care and from that discipline me needs me to feel I can trust you and you will treat me in a fair consistent manner because those actions my keep me from dangers I am unaware of be they life threatening or likely to result in injury.

Socializing and behaviour

Sometimes where you're thinking about how in any given situation we react around each other whither or not it's at home, at work or even say online in a forum it's as well to remember contrary what is often asserted, not everybody involved is in state of permanent fully realized maturity.

While to me and a good number of my closest friends we know we are not and fully see the child within come out in good ways and sometimes not so good ways such as getting stroppy or otherwise appearing rude because as littles this is what we know it what we also see is others who may not identify as we do but exhibiting similar behaviour.

Sometimes it helps if you visualize in such situation say men who might may appear to be so disgusted by the notion of being swept away by emotions as boys in their short pants they feel the need to act up to push away your emotionally driven drama seeing it as a weakness rather than engaging with it working through it to a resolution.

They're repelling something they can't cope with and that to them threatens their rumbustious sense of being, bringing to the surface their 'must hide' insecurities.

It isn't just men who may act like that so might anxious and insecure women and that can aid us in understanding them.

I think when you do see that, it can lead you to toward having a more tolerant view of obnoxious behaviour because we can now see they are still growing and developing feeling able to let more as much as we and they need to work on them.

Sometimes it appears to me, that's the problem, we see people as being "mature" we impose standards on them that they are bound to fail at when they like us are a work in progress in need of appropriate guidance and correction.