Retumbled again

 

Last week was a bit messed up for issues at Tumblr that yet again came down to not this time thank goodness actually having an account removed but rather a concerted attempt I spotted by a cohort of age regressors on Tumblr to having made invidious accusations with threatening phrasing and even multiple usage of the 'f' word based entirely on misunderstanding around a person to whom I felt frankly very let down by.

The daftest thing about it was what I blogged from them were picture of historic houses, events and tourism often with great detail about each one but it was more what they were involved around with other tumblrs that had caused this.

The only reason I reblogged from them was that I was getting tired of reblogging past schoolboys images getting on for around fourty odd years ago and wanted to move away from that.

Unfortunately rather like topsy the drama just grew and grew with me being told I'd altered my url to that a completely different person.

I decided that this needed dealing with and so I made a new account having terminated the one that would be without any and all of the history of both that person whose account was terminated and other followers who showed clear signs of viewing children as sexual objects.

Given that in all honesty the only tumblr that actually mattered was one used mainly for stuff most regressors would post such as cute boyish things, toys and the like and as someone who has age dysphoria lives in the space where all of this is where we are at I'd start all over again.

That meant dealing with the reality that much of what I'd like to reblog comes from those age regression communities who rules whatever one thinks of them you are going to have to shadow are just going to have to be followed.

This appears to have caused some tension between another person  who I liked a lot who'd been more or less told the same after some drama of their own and their friend as while I was discussing this seems to have thrown the block switch.

One way of looking at this is while I feel upset about that I shouldn't feel I should be under the shadow of another boy but taking up my own ball, doing what I feel is necessary as it appears only when I mentioned about the reddit I chat on did this happen.

I did have another totally separate account that like his also had often vintage pictures of boys around the sort of age I remain mentally on tumblr although they were not a mainstay by any means of it so apart from removing some 270 odd pictures from the person who had let me down, I did ensure nothing from those tumblrs who seem to have a fixation more routed in kinks/bdsm were either following because some of their comments were sexual on reblogs and removing from following as simply when your blog is just like that apart from my feelings about sexualization of children, you do have to ask yourself the question "and why would you follow them anyway"?

For me a lesson learned is regardless of what I might blog and what even the images may be, you will be judged upon who they are and so you need double check who you follow and remove anything that will comeback to you even if you were the innocent party.

On tumblr at least some communities are just incompatible

Emotions

The week after I had my second inoculation and have been resting a little although they were less than the first with me, I thought after a few years I'd write a reflective piece about a particularly inspired Disney movie.

 

One of the great things about the Disney movie Inside Out was how it showed the emotions Riley experienced clearly and how that impacted on her attitude and behaviour clearly identifying them

Identifying our emotions is actually quite hard for some of us which does lead into other problem areas such as being able to tell people how we feel and also regulate them as it's as if you have two states, full on or squashed.

 *Picture source vox.com

Actually although this chart was done for the movie, it is surprisingly helpful for those of who have these problems because you can easily tell where the overlapping of base emotions  lead  as they are clearly labelled so you can better thing through for yourself what you're feeling and communicate it to significant people in your life so they understand what you're feeling being better able to guide you managing the resulting emotions and behaviour you exhibit.

Learning to manage them is important in boyhood and sometimes we go off the rails somewhat.

The Tumblr Police

 If you thought Tumblr management were the only kind of body you have to watch on Tumblr, you couldn't be more wrong.

In recent years various groups of "True Believers" have stalked the Age Regression communities making lists of peoples Tumblrs they feel violated their rules even if they never said they were in any way a member of such a community who HAD agreed to follow them.

It always used to be the Porn Blogs that acted in concert with groups of minors in Age Regression but these days any group just do.

First things first I'm Age Dysphoric and I don't care to see sexualized content either but some of these self appointed groups take issue with perfectly safe commercially acceptable pictures of boys often from the past saying because the person who could now be over 40 hadn't given consent in era pictures were often taken and published in newspapers, magazines and other publications because "they trigger my childhood trauma" and everyone must be protected from it.

Some people post them because it reminds them of their own pasts, how they looked maybe even how they visualize themselves today.

There *can* be an issue if one adds sexual or other inappropriate commentary to them but without that they are lawful and safe for anyone to view.

Secondly they act as a record of historical fact as to what and how childhood was.

Or they take issue with one reblogged text based post from somebody else saying it's not accurate and could be harmful to minors possibly.

They then mass reblog blocklists to make everyone block them.

The second thing is having convicted you of breaching their rules on your own blog, they then proceed to have cancelled any other blogs of yours by placing those on a blocklist regardless of content so a blog that literally comprise of stuffed toys of a collectable kind are now linked on a list with really NSFW material in effect saying because they take issue with one of your blogs, everyone should cancel them all and shun you

If you didn't agree to join a group with rules but gained people who may be minors who did  following you why should you have to alter what you post in case it offends and in any event tumblr lets them view your account with no restrictions?

I'm just tired of all this policing going on that also includes if you fail to support BLM, all 100 and counting genders and every social media backed cause when all I want to is post about how it is to be me and the world I loved.

Being a looked after Adult Child

 

The way that we are, they manner in which our actual developmental age is poses questions that I feel like exploring this week in connection with how we connect with the spaces we share with people whose chronological age we have in common.

To me the tendency to ignore 'mental age' progression with very limited acceptance of how that leaves you leads to whole array of social problems so one of the first things that needs to happen is support services need to spend more time identifying mental age development to devise better ways of handling the existence of people like me who are functionally children and who struggle in adult settings.

A more modern issue is how modern social media deals with us as users.

In the past everything we may of thought we wanted involved going through somebody usually a grown up with some authority like a shop keeper or membership person for a club who could reject our request or deny access to any or all parts of it based on our age or how 'mature' we were.

Social media online is different. A few mouse clicks to say you're over 18 or just enter your date of birth  (or make one up as does happen) and you get full access to any and all groups and unrestricted access to messaging.

'X' applied recently to be a member of a Facebook group but wrote in their details that they identified as 14 year old being age dysphoric and were declined on the basis it was age inappropriate for them to to belong by a moderator.

Personally I feel to have accepted your developmental age accepted and validated by a responsible adult in that way was quite encouraging simply because we can be otherwise in situations we are unable cope with leaving us vulnerable and easily exploited.

I was deliberately shielded from some aspects of school social life by the Mr.Evans, Head of Sixth Form with teachers prepared to intervene for those very reasons.

To me, If we 'identify' as a minor - and many of us do because of how our development has left us  - then it is only right that they treat us like minors including banning us from adult content sites or sub groups because it IS age inappropriate.

I don't think I'm talking out of turn to say having to dodge such content is something we do find upsetting when people post it in our spaces on various sites such as Tumblr so to have someone care enough to ensure we don't see it is just fantastic.

If I cannot barr as a matter of course such groups online I think the operators should do that for me giving me the protections of a actual child onsite and any access to site moderators or counsellors to both help me manage my account and to get quick assistance with any situation I cannot cope with without help.

I would have to forgo any adult privileges in doing so but frankly that would make more sense. 

On restoration

This week has seen the turning of 1,800 and 1,300 posts respectively on the restored TSB and TSB 2 tumblrs after last years shenanigans that wiped out the originals from April and July of 2018 when I first arrived there.

This week is one that for us has a holiday and so no doubt I will be outside making the most of the weather in the way that we always used to cos it was (and is) a day off from school when you go out with your mates to play only returning if you needed to go home for dinner wither or not you you all played footie or we were playing adventure games often with a war theme.

Without sounding disrespectful, I'd sooner do that than much on Tumblr cos so many blogs just come and go that I rather have adventures not least as I'm not always well and again when you think of it, as boys we just did things rather than being wrapped up in documenting them.

In that time from the very first Tumblr somethings have changed although much of the posts and that around them have gone of which the biggest one is being stable and confident with being that little boy in grey short trousers, knowing who he is even the things around me have changed over the years.

She understood it well as that boy it the time I encountered The Little House on the Prairie we did too and in accepting I am still that little boy keeping with the unchanging truths of life, free from the unneeded sophistication and  attempts to twist things for adult ends to remain so is a blessing for me.

From enjoying the simple pleasures of play to that of the splendour of nature such things are of real emotional benefit to me.

Every time I see a train especially a steam train, the boy always comes out in me, cos in truth he's there, he's happy amongst the sounds, smell, sight of trains and the old ways like in this picture of the Talyllyn Railway which I went on in the 1970's.

*Post inspired from Tumblr circa dec 2018-April 2019.

Dealing with citizenship

In a couple of weeks unlike a good 99% of the time I will be engaging in adult activities for a few minutes having spent a hour thinking things through just a bit first so you may well be wondering "and how do you of all people do that?"

The first thing to say is I had an interest in current affairs - what is happening and why - in childhood because when we joined the Common Market that was something that was talked about in class cos whatever you thoughts now, it was a change in our lives we would be living with.

We had a good number of visitors to school who were people like visitors like the late Baroness Shirley Williams ministers and educationalists and indeed I did have afternoon tea with then Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher at No. 10 Downing Street no less.

We did debate things, often very spiritedly because really we we learning to listen to different points of view and reply to them rather than 'cancelling' them.

I could at twelve and even a little early get to grips with key issues and the things in common and the things that differ between different peoples views being less concerned with the frankly childish bear pit that is Party Politics and rather more at trying to solve problems and make things run better for the ordinary person.

Like a number of areas we have Police and Crime Commissioner elections and what I am more interested in are things like ensuring people who report a crime do feel that crime is important and will be looked into, that no one section of community are able to feel they are above the law and that people are able to go about their lawful activities without fear and intimidation.

I also feel much needs to be spent on providing youth services to both provide a path away from anti social activity and to offer opportunities to learn life skills like resolving differences in ways that don't include the use of knives. 

There were swinging cuts to the youth budget before the pandemic kicked in and that saw youth clubs shut with increases in crime and anti social behaviour in some areas that didn't just cause problems fro residents but also resulted in actions against the police whose job it was to see and respond to incidents.

I think a refocusing on youth prevision would be a good idea as we come out of lockdown.

Purely personally I don't feel these positions actually do that much for ordinary people when you bear in mind many councils have Police Committees with a chairman who do meet with the public.

I don't feel one commissioner and a deputy plus admin is the best use of very scarce resources given they achieve little more than the committees themselves did before for rather less money.

I'll be looking at the candidates manifestoes and deciding which I feel is the best given we can't opt out of having one

Moving on

 

It could be easily me any day of the week reading Commando magazines or the Beano if you were to drop by and actually see me, face little different from my early teens ditto much of my frame.

It would of been and whenever I got the chance when I was in my mid teens with my folks away just how I looked even by that era's stands still more of a boy than a 'young man' or an teen aping young men wanting that status.

That was a bit of that battle I talked about on That Uniformed School Boy last week was really about at the time because it was a status I didn't want nor need because frankly I couldn't actually use it and in any event I never saw myself as a teen never mind a young man in the making.

I've utterly dropped any pretence of being other than just a little boy of ten openly referring to "going out to play", talking of "The grown ups are talking about..." clearly disassociating myself from them and instead just being happy to be a boy of little consequence, who has things done and bought for him, showing his gratitude accepting lesser status.

Just tearing up my adult side publicly looking like and acting from my ten year old self was the best thing I did. Blow away dandelion.

I just feel so much more at ease with myself.