Going casual

When it comes to the more casual side of me really it is more like this, a t shirt, light games type shorts, ankle socks and trainers I go for.
To me it's cool during the warmer months with lots of room if play while outside and easy to wash too if I get a bit muddy which even if I'm not playing footy somehow just lands on you.
It's even okay for on floor play indoors to where if I had been expected to wear longs I'd of worn holes in the knees although if I'm just sitting around more I prefer more tailored shorts and short sleeve shirt.

Getting that cubby feeling

This last week has been interesting with the usual mix of a few decades past and the current intermingled as the post on the main blog on Friday will show with found memories of original childhood experienced in my second as that child in an adult body.
It has also been an interesting one for being out exploring nature, watching, feeling and hearing it intently.

I have observed the habits of Squirrels, watched on a daily basis the changes in the hue and colour of the leaves on all our local trees and a good many insects.
Indeed actually on Saturday, I observed at close quarters hundreds of Ladybirds out in the fall sun that must of emerged.

An example of the Harlequin Ladybird I saw is this one which I took a picture of while a wasp seemed to take an interest in my hat!

Wild berries were also out too although normally it is a little late in the season to see them.

While I can never be invested into the cubs nor actually be awarded the badges, this week I feel the sense of being a cub scout in spirit learning more his woodcraft  and scouting skills such as observation while having fun.
The very things that are passported into the remainder of your life after that stage.

The importance of honesty

Another Wednesday here with myself, Chris, where I am mainly in school uniform being returned to boyhood which does rather suit me because its a time of learning lessons one of which is this weeks subject.
One of things things that does matter is telling the truth not that going by popular opinion  is it something we expect from people in positions of power such as business leaders or politicians although I feel our expectations ought to higher even if at times dashed.
The must basic reason for this is we have a need to feel the other person has a sense of honesty and integrity about them, that what they say is based on reality rather than either wishful thinking or something having no basis at all in fact.
Most of us can understand  and relate to what are sometimes called 'magical thoughts' where belief is suspended because the illusion of say "seeing an elephant fly" is preferable to us than the reality which is of course that they cannot. That whole notion is very child-like and because we saw it in our imagination it may feel real but isn't.
That's a stage most of us grow out of since we were about nine or so.
Telling the whole truth is something we can all struggle with especially if by doing so it shows us  in a poorer light so we do not so much say something it isn't true: we omit that which  shows our culpability and responsibility for what really transpired.
If there is a hierarchy when it comes to this it is the outright lie, the very thing that had no basis in reality at all that takes pole position.
We use it to place ourselves where we were not, to claim credit for things we did not do, to transfer the blame from us to others when we have done wrong and remove ourselves from situations where we had a responsibility but chose not to exercise it.
I am - and I am expected to -  tell the whole truth at all times and whenever I'm not there's no question of not being punished because of its seriousness.

Welcome to my dorm

One what tends to be the blog that looks more into feelings and that this is the week where that space I mentioned last week has paused, its course run and its direction being very much now directed to here.
The week saw more me being outside learning to watch and listen more to nature as I saw two grey squirrels playing on the edge of a wood as they scavenged for acorns to bury without a care in the world.
It also was a week as we are in The Fall where temperatures did drop and indeed on Sunday it was 11 degrees C (52 degrees F) but I was outside 'playing' with just a sweater over my top and wearing long socks with my shorts.
While out I soon became warm as I run, jumped and walked around and indeed I was as warm as toast by the time I came in but the most interesting thing was I noticed walking around a familiar feeling of tingling around the inside leg from just below the shorts to my Y fronts which when I looked closer there were goose pimples.
That was something that took me straight back to this time of year when official a boy as I often felt them on say cold mornings walking by farms to school in my shorts with maybe a duffle coat if we were lucky.
While it would not make sense to go out quite like that when it's extremely cold, one thing I did learn was I don't need longs on nearly as much because I can and am becoming more hardy and actually that should be encouraged in me.

Another thing about this week was it has been just over two months since I established a Alb/Asb forum for boys like me as one place we had used did have periods of being down and in fact shortly after registering mine and getting the basic functionality going, it shut down without warning.
Anyone who has read "The other blog" tm knows the issues I have had over the years around identity and feeling comfortable in my own skin and while sites can be good for seeing other people and interacting a little, what you don't get is conversation.
What I needed was was more a boys only space to introduce myself and let my boyishness out in a way that felt safe to me and where I'd bond with them.
Less of a reblogging of images place but more a place to talk, explore and share about what this adult little boy/adult schoolboy thing is and means.
So far we've got 21 members, are fairly active  and many of the posts have been high quality written well with depth of feeling.
Given the challenge it was for me to set this place up after finding a suitable host I feel both elated and gratified we've made a great place to be under the stars as adult boys.

Tumblr and being a Little Boy forever

Somethings change and somethings are changing  when it comes to me and how that works out in my online life and it's necessary driver my real one too.

To get a idea of what it is it means to be me we need to reexamine what was and for me an indication of it was the fact that a boy of nine and a half years is playing with seven year olds in the infant playground because he has not caught up with how his peers play and is unaware of how he appears to others.

He relies on the support of his class to make sense of what is going on, being told by them what to do and who appear to him to be older children even though he is the same age and he acts in less mature way for his age.

The same pattern repeats itself from when he moves to high school as a boarder every eighteen months or so as he's left behind as the younger boy of the same year group and age. 

The more 'adult' in build you get, the less acceptance you get for being Age Dyphoric you get although there's no cure for being the way we are.

I truly remain a Little Boy.

Earlier on in the year I decided to return to an all boy environment and give nature a second chance.

That has helped for encouraging me to express openly more masculine traits being in an environment that respects them as being an important and necessary part of who I am as I cut away from anything overly feminine
.
I have had a great week for feeling more confident and comfortable in my own skin just acting on my own inner male feelings while taking over a Tumblr and establishing TSB 2 as the group tumblr doesn't allow me any one to one communication.