Traditional school role playing.

When I think about school and the idea of age playing it, that's to say you act like you're say a pupil at it, what goes through my mind is way in which those of us of a certain generation recall having our moments where we had infractions dealt with .
It wasn't for the most part an era where near enough every other week a new syndrome or condition appeared connected in some way to your being educated and even if like me you had a physical disability and were labelled as Educationally Sub-normal at one point, you still were expected to try to learn even in a school that may accept your disability as that.
I was disciplined at school like any other child and I knew others who were taken off their crutches or wheelchairs to be spanked like the rest of us because while having some restrictions on how far you may learn was accepted, the idea that you may in effect be excused from trying to learn wasn't.
The same applied to your behaviour say in the playground as syndrome X didn't mean you were told you can't really help it, you were expected to at least try to and be subject to the same strict rules as everyone else.
If I was to age play then, I'd need in school role playing situation the punishments of the time era we'd be set in and accept I was to get them like every other adult school boy or girl there including getting the cane.
It might be just the thing for me.

Wednesday ramblings

In the long running saga of gender identity, gender roles and presentation the one constant in my sense of age regression has been the major role in presentation of wearing tailored shorts, more so than traditional pe or footy ones with either dress shirts or t shirts because emotionally being and returning to that schoolboy is a good place for me.

It had more good people grown ups such as teachers and other children in it than bad and was the place I knew more than what as well as where my place was within it.

At times it was a tough environment but one that did me good.

Talking of what does you good this sure as heck doesn't at all.

At one time cartoons just showed good and bad characters acting out and more often than not you saw the bad ones caught out cos they got wise to their antics and protected themselves.

Now what happened was people got worried about seeing all these bad violent things and decided as one we needed a 'wholesome' message.

Now when we saw the Care Bears, what was being espoused was being together and caring a lot with a little homily at the end.

Thing is while there is a lot to be said for caring about people that isn't how things get sorted in the real world. It promotes the ideal everyone is basically good and you can just reason with them.

You may need to learn to outsmart people who have problems with you rather more, you may need less to emphasize with them so much as you might just have to fight them in order to stand up for yourself.

No boy should go anywhere near this cartoon nor own a care bear cos it is so corrosive that adult males then go on to believe totally in the idea just talking it out makes everything okay and by just caring about a country we can have world peace. As if!

 Another thing is just no good for us the 'Everyone wins a prize and nobody loses' culture that comes from the belief to lose at a sport or not win at something as mundane as musical chairs as a kid is so painful we must be sheltered from it.

Everyday instead of winning a prize based on their abilities and skill, instead each participant is handed a ribbon or certificate for taking part and told they are a winner.

Boys in particular work best when they are challenged to be the very best they can at any subject or sport and in time some naturally excel at them to the point further training may be offered.

This isn't just good for that boy but actually motivates the others but in this touchy feeling environment he is not allowed to shine and so the pussification of the young male continues  denying him the life learning lesson of acceptance of being responsible for his own life choices and owning the consequences any man needs. 

Far from building and making his own achievements in his maturity he looks for 'experiences' that have little real responsibility who then whine that 'Life's not fair' later on as life flies by when in reality it never was but you just got on with it making your opportunities and own luck along the way.  

Love and understandings in middle/little space

Sometimes the talk with a friend on Fur Affinity has an effect that goes beyond their initial context such as an abdl comic where topics arise within a page and some discussion in its comments box  takes part to which I have post a few observations but as I didn't wish to put highly personalized ones in there I thought It'd set them out here instead.
When a person sets out in their little/middle age regressed to build not so much on being emotionally that person playing but in the return of those structures and relating patterns that more mirror those of child to Parent such as a "Caregiver/little" there can be a difference between your sense of needing and wanting it as that little and being ready emotionally for the 'rolling back' when it comes to having that final say and how you are to to present yourself in their company.
This is something that the Caregiver needs to be aware of, talking through respecting limits even if over time they may change not seeing this as a automatic disrespect issue between little and Caregiver and treated accordingly
This is something in a less structured matter of fact way is talked through  between those adults in my life who assume Caregiver roles and myself all the time so they know my limits and I am clear on what we have agreed on.

When in their company I am very much that little/middle and this is my relating style personified not least when there is any question as to my conduct to the as Caregiver(s) very much their 'child' to whom all this happens not just because it is the authentic me but because they love me so much that they enable that side to present being in my grey shorts and socks and be acted on by them as that child.

As that 'child' they look after me with all those expectations and rules that I stand attentively  deferring to them as my adult authorities as they scold and spank me as they feel appropriate.

Sometimes it is hard for some to understand that actually that allowing me that space to be and present as little/middle me and this other side are connected but actually they are.

Their scolding and spanking me is a reflection their love for me, that they know I can do better and need to be corrected to move me on, the very same love that allows me to be little me.

My spanked bottom is an a sign of that that we all should be glad of.

New term at the dorm

There's nothing quite like an impromptu stone wall perch while out as you reflect, taking the viewing on your achievements that day and the beauty that is all around you.
As well it's Autumn although parts of the summer months are still with us and the school soccer season is upon us.
Part of this whole thing in my life is to do with a combination of trauma and how through having developmental disabilities too, is a kind of a therapy for me where I am treated more by the level of my real life attainments and development rather than just by pure age.
Rather than having me in settings I cannot cope with in a very stressful state, I am instead placed in the setting that matches the level of development I am in and am in effect protected from those adult situations I lack the ability to exercise control.
This doesn't shouldn't surprise either of us because when I was going through a nervous breakdown in an adult role of considerable responsibility, the person above me openly admitted to having to shield me until we were the point it was obvious I had to leave.
I have consented to be treated more like the ten year old emotionally and developmentally child I am wrapped in a chronologically aged body with the restrictions and rules that go with it because that better aids my real world recovery.
Part of it involves being dressed more akin to that child so not only do I feel calm from acting from the real me but also by being dressed as that ten year old boy, I better reflect how I am and am less likely to be treated beyond my limitations and more juvenile way.