The Tudors

This Thursday sees the return to school in this area, a few days earlier than normal because of the complications of Covid, not wishing to lose any more time than sadly has been study wise and  also with next years extra day's holiday to be slotted in the 'formula' needed to be changed.

It's a time of year where my Dysphoria tends to be at it's worst because psychologically my body clock expects to be returning to school and needless to say visiting the uniform shop and talking of which I expect my new school shorts around mid September.

I had a fairly wide ranging education even though I missed chunks and arguably wasn't properly taught but I did study History to English A level standard and a chunk of that was about the Tudors and Stuarts in England and Wales.

We did go on a number of  visits to important buildings such as former Abbeys and Halls built for the nobility such as Hardwick Hall in nearby Derbyshire and looked at things such as fashion and public health in that era outside of domestic policy, endless religious squabbles and the likes of the Armada. 

We didn't go too much into education back then, although it was very much something the really well to do boys had back then and as can be seen from this marvellous illustration  a boy in a state of disgrace regarding his conduct would be birched in front of his peers.

It also was a period of judicial Corporal as well as Capital punishment if you were caught begging or stealing.

Junior Chris

One form of Junior me is like this, just devoid of blazer where the longer grey school shorts was changed for a shorter hard-wearing lined one similar to that wear by boys at my junior school did and where the V neck sweater allowing my shirt and school tie to show through.

The key word in this 'Junior', pre-teen, as that's very much how feel my inner child is and mentally I'm at as afterward the mismatch between appearing teen and how I was (and remain) really became more noticeable to the point I had to be looked after and even sheltered from some aspects of regular teen life.

Like many of us I guess I was feeling a bit despondent following Monday's announcement we were going into England wide full lockdown with stricter rules as I have done as much as I can to stay within them, looking after my health trying to keep transmission down when you've seen stupid and irresponsible behaviour  by others often go unpunished.

While we are told we "should" only go out once to exercise that wording doesn't imply you cannot or that doing so will be automatically a breach of the Corona regulations more that they'd rather you didn't.

In this district it is possible to go out and hardly encounter a soul so if you were that way minded you could probably do so safely with no more risk than being in your own (fair sized in my case) garden.

I guess it's going be more comic reading and time outdoors playing and at least this time the playgrounds will be open.

Getting with the program

After a busy, somewhat mithering week where the Corona virus is the major topic as a person who is more potentially vulnerable being in a more 'at risk' group which is impacting on some of the things I follow such as footie with matches being played either without crowds to reduce cross -infection or even postponed and personally I need to be a bit careful about the areas I go out in, returning to one of the main narratives of this blog also seems appropriate.

A good start point in all this is to say what would be the response for adult in law but in other respects boy be to such troubling situations?

Let's start by recognizing I coped learning to use my abilities to handle the challenges of being physically and developmentally disabled to make a life for myself as much as I may need supervision and support from time to time.

I had a poor track record of childhood illnesses requiring time away from school and time often in bed but I kept my own spirits up learning to manage my vulnerabilities to minimize becoming ill.

Of late I adapted a more outdoor lifestyle with a lot of fresh air and exercise to promote more vigour and resilience which was hard for me but has helped in having the lowest instances of colds and aches.

It seems to me that more of that keeping away from major population centres will help keep the risk of infection down while ensuring I don't give in to mental contamination, keeping my spirit up and full throttle.

When I may be unable to go where I'd like I need to take it as a boy and do things I can instead such as read and make things refusing to allow this current emergency define me and show some spirit instead.

Age play

What does age play mean to you?

It’s not a phrase I use simply because my Middles with a little side flows from my inner child in real time less than the notion of say taking on a pre-defined role with an script, running more with actual child within emotional responses and  needs as it happens in real time. 

I'd call this 'age regression'.  It’s more space for my Middle with little side to express herself with the ‘play’ being the setting where she comes out.

It also is the case with developmental disabilities and brain damage, even at school, not least high school, I was considerably younger than my years which left me out of sync from my mid teens onward with most of my peers although I could share in say a love of music and some movies at least but with a lot their more grown up interests and sexual references going completely over my head, like they’d be talking about making out and I’d be more interested in having a teddy bears picnic or a tween sleepover

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For me those situations either on line or in playmeets  with some of my friends over here are very therapeutic to me because they’re where I can really let that side of me out without the fear of people poking fun although the community where I live are very tolerant of my child-like ways and being know to have “special needs” does run  to my advantage in that way, allowing a greater degree of self expression than I’d of imagined after leaving high school.

How do you express you inner-kid: online? offline as part of your everyday life?

Online is fun as I am very childlike, cracking lame jokes, getting super excited but thankfully most people are at least tolerant of my childlike ways although I make serious posts on non IK sites but am very open at sites like DDLG World  about my little side sometimes really regressing in say a IK chat room
In what we call Real Life, as will be apparent later on, my 'big’ and I express ourselves pretty much the same, which can be fun  cos I just can’t help being myself as I use child-like phrases and words instinctively, often have plaything with me (my last works colleagues 'got it’ and were super understanding of me being very much a child to the point of buying childrens gifts at Christmas),  do dress in a more child-like way, often have cute plushies around, and easily move into little/middle headspace when I’m out, playing with thing.

My IK really comes out at Adult Little Boy meets and sleepovers, it’s just like boarding school which I loved having been to one and I’m always dressed as Middle in either playwear or English school uniform which fits me perfectly.

How do you view your innerkid? As an integrated part of you? As being totally separate? .. or maybe you don’t feel you have an innerkid per say just feel littler.

The answer to this is simple  which is to say I don’t have much of adult sense of self through the real world impact of learning, development and intellectual disabilities to the point much of the adult world is beyond my personal comprehension, having no interest or need to. 

I have chores like tidying up and helping with hoovering.

Basically I’m a child with a big age number living more like a child apart from paying taxes and that.