This whole life has been going on a pretty long time to be honest a few rabbit holes I was pushed along into excepted and a few attempts at masking aside but with much of the former it really messed me up.
The thing always was from the outset I was much more younger less by the standards of people of the same birth age 'mature' than most and as time went on that gap got bigger to the point increasingly I had little really in common outside of work and even within to assume I was an adult was an assumption too far.
I had to be handled more like a schoolboy on work experience than a grown man, kept an eye on and have things explained to me simply.
Even if elements of how I presented might of looked more mainstream like wearing mainly Chino pants even if they were fully elasticated then other elements like wearing more school type sweatshirts and having animal design backpacks and cute plushies on the desk were not.
My drifting back after the misguided attempts to take me down other rabbit holes toward being an adult little boy, finally accepting I was in no way functionally adult was a breakthrough as was deciding to present myself at all times as that little boy of junior age has enabled me to be seen and treated more as that adult but child by literally casting the adultness off me whenever I'm in company at home or in the community.
By appearing in my shirt, grey shorts and matching long grey socks, I am no longer mistaken by people for an adult and they feel more able to exercise the kind of protected oversight and authority I need having de-adulted myself in public.
Thus for me life for having made this step is all the more better.
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