Some personal reflections

Seeing it is coming up to Christmas I'd normally post a seasons greetings entry on the other blog but seeing this is a different blog proposition instead I talk about something different.

There are times when I do like to talk a bit about my past and where some of that confusion came from that was leaving me feeling pretty bad.

There was a group of adult littles I knew who were mainly or at the time saw themselves as transgendered where at the time there weren't many places for adult little boys that weren't in with sissification and a whole lot of stuff I didn't care for.

There was an individual let's call them 'K'  who was a mainstay of them who saw herself as male to female adult little girl who wrote fiction around that topic who had some serious issues in their professional life because of attitudes toward being that way when they presented as male for work.

To put things simply and in a fair minded way she didn't see herself having nor wanting an adult female side, being that adult little girl was just how the little side came out.

That group tended to push me toward their scene during that period but visiting some of their written work during the period I started to drift back toward adult little boys I noticed they had written a lengthy prose piece some of which is relevant to how and why I've moved so far away from that scene.

I think the first thing was she was very disenchanted with the Transgender movement because she felt pushing people especially children who still looked in the buff as one sex but claiming the other  in to things such as Scouting, School and Work based closets, changing rooms and dorms what were single SEX for a good reason just for ideological reasons (believing Sex and Gender are the same and feeling one Gender equals being that Sex) was not just bad tactics but actually very wrong flying in face of human nature.

Adolescent boys and girls are driven to explore sexuality and relationships, many of us can remember that and so placing people whose sexual attraction is toward the opposite sex even if that one member claims to be of a different gender doesn't prevent *anything* happening.

One of the points she made (and probably pissed a few people off by saying) is it's not just that gender and sex are not the same (gender is the social and culture form that aligns to  a persons sex) but also actually you cannot actually change your sex.
That figuratively was a kick in the balls given some of stuff I'd been told.

What she said was you could change the appearance of your body through surgery or purely cosmetically but it doesn't alter your internal sex one iota and that really was a fantasy. 

Few who do 'transition' resemble the born female cis models used in much of the transgender articles around that and memes posted on tumblr and the like finding they still don't feel comfortable with their bodies as adults.

One of things I felt bad about in that group was whenever they'd discuss things about gender actually I felt a strong connection to my sex - I didn't wish to have them removed - and I liked the connections it gave me.

She decided it appeared not to call herself Transgendered because she always felt that little girl and never a woman and didn't wish to associated with those peoples attitudes.

In the parallel universe, I'd formed the view I rather liked and would sooner spend my time with and in the adult little boy and schoolboy world because actually I liked my sex and I felt my sex and gender were aligned even if some of my interests may of been at the time gender untypical.

Thus in time I left that group realizing much of its focus was far removed  from me and by doing so I'd move on to the world I actually belong in, the world of adult little boys who love being themselves.

That has proven to be so much better for me I can't put it into words.

Lessons learned

Gender politics  runs deep in our societies discourse whither it's those who allege to be male is to have an inheritable  privilege in society or those who feel anyone who 'identities' with any gender is just it regardless the one thing they have in common is they all DEMAND tolerance and shut down disagreements showing that liberal contradiction of our time, intolerance around toleration and different views.

 

Let's start with something straightforward  gender really is about the sense socially you feel you are and what that is does include societal attitudes and preferences which for good measure can change with time.

You cannot actually change gender in that sense because that is how you see you and there is a small proportion of people who don't  fit in with how society sees their own gender expression. That's a head thing really.

There's a section who clearly have actual dysphoria a disgust, a revulsion about how their own bodies are who may need some help to deal with it but that really is about sex, your physical side not least for males your penis and testicles and for females your breasts and vagina.

The traditional way of dealing with the idea that you don't feel the gender you are is to change your physical appearance to match that which matches your gender but that doesn't make you internally a female even if you grow breasts and have a vagina fashioned.

I'm understanding of the latter although it is by no means either straightforward or really a 'cure' and wish them well.

What I do feel and some will loath me for saying it is the problem we have over gender is actually the result of own narrow roles not least for boys and putting children on a course of pills and in time surgery to remake outward physical appearances to match societies issues isn't right.

A good number of male to female transexual do find actually not only having such re-assignment or more accurately  gender confirmation surgery doesn't actually do anything for their idea of gender expression but actually wish to have their surgery reversed.

More over and I'm well qualified to say this is there is a push toward the idea not of exploring what being a boy can be but more one of "so you're questioning your gender, you can't really be a boy then" when it may be that either you have little idea of what boys really do have interests in and specifically a lack of real tuition in what being a boy really is and how you might handle manhood.

I know cos I went through this without going down the medical side and I found it did nothing for me and what I really needed was to work on what it means to be male in the 21st century and to learn to love my self and my male body.

Boys don't need to have their balls removed to be helped with issues around who they are and gender expression in the male world and no to be blunt I don't think it is acceptable when you don't have dysphoria.

Getting it straight

The week here so far hasn't been particular stressful just writing my blog and reading a few Tumblrs, not that I have as yet as my experiences elsewhere online haven't been good.
One thing I do wish to comment upon is that really there are only boys and girls when it comes to genders not the multitude some seem to put about and that also does NOT include cross-species genders such as fawngender.

You may have a few atypical likes for your gender which is well within the norm but you remain still either a boy or a girl because no amount of fancy titling, hormones or attempts at altering the appearance of your sex organs alters the fact your internal wiring is and remains that of your real gender.

As we grow up we need to learn male skills like how to keep ourselves clean shaven and only males can because they have that personal knowledge and as that young boy along that route we learn it from from older boys and male siblings.

A boy is best brought up as he is - a male

The other thing is that boy has no need for long trousers, boys like me NEED to kept in shorts ideally short ones to help ensure I am handled for my actual emotional and intellectual development as a immature person over the age of 18 who only has the capacity of a child and needs adults to be my responsible grown ups in charge of me.