Thoughts on recovery

I wasn't too great on Friday so it is a bit of a catch up session as I type this and the other blogs out this weekend.

At one level that is easier than it use to be for being out of the workforce with it's routine of phoning in sick, arranging a return day and the meeting with a supervisor to start your return gradually only to find that work has built up over that period.

It tended to be 50/50 if your colleagues worked with you to get through it or if they felt having come back you could jolly well sort it yourself. 

These days you'll most probably seen me at home more like this sprawled across a chair or sofa, on tablets and pretty much out of it looking every inch a traditional school boy with his seventiestastic short short trousers minus much of the adult say and responsibilities, being cared for in exchange for doing what he's told.

The come down has been overall better for me because I can manage situations better for being treated as a boy feeling less of a hindrance going through meeting cycles every three weeks apart from having less on my mind so I am less likely to develop sessions where I may be ill for a week or so.

Not being seen as fully adult also means both I don't get "dumped" on emotionally nor expected to do things which are problematic for me but receive more the guidance and support of a boy in the community.  I know they are there for me.

I'm comfortable with this exchange.

Summer changes

We will know soon enough about what is actually going to happen over the summer as at the time of typing this there is much discussion although it seems most likely to be delayed until early July at the very least.

This does complicate things because I was rather hoping to get away given it's been near enough sixteen months since I was able to stay overnight somewhere and just explore never mind be with friends.

It's the uncertainty that's the killer really, not being able to make plans or if you do you find they can't happen.

The one thing from all this really is just rolling back to a children's role so much just living in the moment, doing what you're told and playing anyhow through it all letting all the deep thought and analysis pass me by.

It makes things easier to cope with cos you're just going with it is not that isn't stressful but you're not so focussed on it cos we can enough even if there are limits around contacts and I won't be going back to where I was because losing adult status and roles has been the one gain for me.

People look out for me, I do what they say now and  it works out better.