Structure and Emotions

Quite a few things happened across the week.

One thing connected with the Forum that can be hard going is when a post or two that are made do not fit what the thread is about.

We've had before things like a person putting a fictional account in a thread about actual real life experiences or mixing up subjects so when you click on a  thread to look at one thing the subject has totally changed.

We do have threads for related Images but we like to keep actual images such as photographs and drawings seperate from A.I. generated ones that have their own thread and all credited, published with authority of whoever owns the right(s) to that image.

Please try to keep things in the right thread.

The other main thing is our actual childhood pasts do connect to our present day realities, how we may see things as being perhaps feeling you were accused or punished for something unjustly or blamed by others which can cause trust issues.

You might feel "Everybody's always blaming me".

For some of us sibling relations are a huge problem because how they treated you such as getting you into trouble, stealing, telling lies all the time and not to put too fine a point on it emotional abuse in the home.

You may have tried desperately to be a good - never perfect - older brother but the way you were treat leaves issues to this day.

There are plus points to being very much a adult child not least when like for me it is developmentally what you are but it also means I have the same sorts of reactions as a child in certain situations leading to situations that can be trying.

I have been trying to sort through with one sibling these issues as painful as they are and to get them to open up to what was going on with them at the time.

We have got to the point where one is now prepared to allow me to be their next of kin after their partner which is improvement on how things were two years ago.

Mum approved return to LB?

Oh what a week of Drama we've had thankfully off forum but sadly closer to home where hometruths were spelt out but anyway and connected at one level to it is really more this post.

Everybody's childhood is different than each others and no doubt boyhood in the 1990's or 2000's was different than that of my own generation sandwiched between the late 1960's and 1970's which at times seems a foreign land today where red call boxes roamed the land as did boys on choppers and you'd all dash to back to see your favourite tv shows as there was no  video recorder never mind iPlayer back then.

See it or miss it, back then

Saturday mornings were Cartoon time not that we didn't have them in the weekdays such as those the BBC sandwiched between our programs and The News  for groan ups.

Cartoons might feature between two ot three hour shows depend on where you lived Tiswas for those of us in the Midlands from day one or SwapShop on BBC1 and between such programs too.

It didn't matter if they were a few years old, we enjoyed the Banana Splits, Josie and the Pussycats, Wacky Races and loads of Hanna-Barbara shows like the Flintstones.

Now it isn't so talked about but some Mothers really loved that stage in your life when you were their Little Boy keeping all sorts of reminders of those days, the things you made, badges you gained, even your  last surviving clothes before everyone said "You're a Big Boy now!" and she mentally took a tissue to her eye.

Just imagine if you will that situation as a fourteen or fifteen year old in a tearfully sentimental story how she loved those years she retrived those last grey school shorts and said "Let's see if they still fit" (subtext "Are you reall that much of a Big Boy?")

Most would be embarassed but I'd of had tears of joy for being allowed to be him at least when mum loved it.

In her last years she got to loved a short trouser dressed Little Boy me and on the anniversary of her death this all comes back.

Time to change!

We're somewhat rough (or ruff) after a draining day emotionally speaking where a couple of things came early but because of events couldn't be enjoyed that day, barely touch just unwrapped and put to oneside.

Something that did after several paracetamols came back to me was the period around 1979 through to 1985 when looking at the various promotional mini catalogues various stores put out to tie in with "Back To School" and Christmas was the amount of time I'd spend looking at things like what today we'd call replica football strip or especially the generic ones you'd have in schools PE kit.

Association Football or more collequally in the U.K. "Football" was something on the face of it wasn't really designed for a unco-ordinated wobbely footed me in an era where there were few "Disability Sports" and apart from not having any in regular schools even schools that were more for the disabled didn't cos nobody was leaving Teacher Training knowing about them.

Thus for most of my education if "Boys" had football on the timetable then wobbly ol' me had to take part when not on muddy grass which in some ways wasn't the best use of PE time for me but did learn me resilence.

I did get around that period the full outfit right down to the thicker long sleeve jerseys with ribbing on the cuffs and then normal short shorts unlike todays just above the knees sort, as it too me back a bit to that past and lent itself for summer wear.

What we're about

There's a few more aches and pains than I'd like this week as I'm trying to rest the affected areas of the body although I am around the forum should anyone do anything  they really shouldn't be and NO you're not getting away with anything while I recover!

This blog tends to follow a different projectory than the others although over the years we've been impacted by things like the impact of the Online Safety Act and shifting views of how Bloggers terms are supposed to work and that is it by design a BOYS CLUB.

Now what can be in a Boys Club will change over time, certainly when I was young it was limited and in some respects over restrictive but it's not for girls as it changes the whole feel of it in the way to allow boys in some Girl spots does too.

And that is okay as - and I know I have battled with what being a boy meant - we need that space to work on it as the old working defination "anything girls do, we don't" no longer works if indeed it ever did totally.

We have "action figures", they have dolls and everything around their dolls have changed they're no longer obsessed with being pretty and leaving everyth.ing to males and we're still stuggling the idea of a more caring sensitive male even if being able to provide and protect still matter and are sources of manly pride.

I like being the Boy I am, Don't you?