Getting to grips with the real you

Having spoken a bit about this whole lack of clear identity steaming from that critical period you might think "but is there a cure for it" especially where people assert there is a cure for people who don't feel they are who they are.

Well I don't think just asserting anything really helps it's not what you know at the intellectual level so much it is the way you see you and I'd be honest if I didn't say I struggle with that because of those negative influences including those in recent past who tried to push me in transgendered direction.

To me to change how I feel I need to actually revisit the past itself looking at what I did then, how I felt about being me doing that and examine if that is any different to any other boy because really that is the question here because it may not be but because I've been under the influence of people who see being male as a bad thing and who look at any variance as proof someone isn't, it may not be the case.

It might well be how I really feel about being male and boy isn't so different when I get talking to others who are as everybody has their own likes and interests which can differ.

Things I can do while I am doing this include stepping away from anything androgynous and returning to wearing boys cut t shirts and wearing high leg short boys shorts pulling them up tight just a couple of inches inside leg and showing the band of my underpants  above the shorts waist.

Wearing what I last felt good as a boy in while working through this should help remove me from what I associate the worst I felt from me plus look more physically male because the first thing I need to do to get better is the hardest and that is to come out as male and nothing less so there is no question of it.

Soapboxes or opening conversations with people don't really work because you can't demand acceptance you can only show and be it and the one step I need to do is be seen as nothing less than a male. This is something only I can do and I have to find the balls to do it.