Righting wrongs

 I'm not feeling to great today so,this will be a short post as we cool down after last weeks super hot period and I get a bit of rest in.

Bad relationships with my younger brother go back a very long time, certainly to the time he turned around ten and started getting more manipulating from playing around the year or games under the bed clothes in the early hours of the morning, hopefully not attracting the attention of Dad and and his slipper.

While much he moved into has been talked about before and how that left me an out of the blue phone call last Friday when did was out made for an interesting conversation as he wanted to talk about past events, not least how Dad treated him - being physically abusive whenever he was unwell and mum also was,accusing him of various things and how a chunk of the wider family just will not accept he has this side to him not to negate the other and good side of his nature that often seem like odd bed fellows.

I did take advantage of that to confirm my understand of what had gone on, my own views being similar to his and he was understood and perhaps more importantly his mum understood it too as indeed as I well recall she said as much in her later years.

While none of that takes away how he treated me, I do feel some progress has been made in at least getting an understanding his issues from that are accepted and paving a bit more of a way towards better relationships going forward.

Gratitude

This is a little late coming out today not least for me feeling pretty tired yesterday and as it will become apparent, not around to write it either.

Yesterday was different for it was one of a number of days my Aunt s and an Uncle would meet up for food and talking about things in general that goes back a good number of years following the  sad loss of a number of members and the feeling we needed to do *something* to keep in touch beyond a phone call or Facebook messaging.

Those were in the days when Mum was very much alive and with us and there was for a period a bit of pause when whe died and all the funeral stuff was being worked through.

Back then it was more a thing I knew of as it was just that group and didn't include me which wasn't an issue - sometimes your parents need spaces from you - but following the resumption, they decided to invite me to attend.

My Aunt knew a bit about my more adult boy side - not the whole nine yards -  when she came few years back with my oldest cousin to which we'd attend lots of parties and that together and they'd discovered this "boy" in shirt and short trousers at home with everyone else well in and okay with it.

Indeed that was how I was at the funeral itself even .

But anyway when it came attending these events not least with that Uncle I hadn't seen for a while that was very much how I presented.

Yesterday we were  supposed to had attended a venue inside the large and much loved as a boy park in the district centre for the North of this city region with it's boating like, playgrounds, gardens and bowling green but my Aunt had forgotten one thing.

Easter Hols. And in the immediate city area, they take their Easter Hols a week before in this part they do so there you are with lots of kids walking around and the menu was changed to more Children's Favourites no doubt with idea that Grandparents looking after children whose parents work would at least ensure they'd get a decent warm meal.

It wouldn't of mattered for me - sausage,egg and chips is right up my alley - but they wanted something more *adult* so we wet off for the Chatterley Whitfield, name after the area the coal mine (one a good number round here) had been.

We settled on a mass order of Fish and Chips with mushy peas which I added choco fudge cake and ice cream which went well although the place was full and with...children!

Indeed one young child was having a birthday dinner and inevitably there was more background noise.

We talked and talked which really was the kind of point really and then I was presented with a box of chocolates for Easter by my aunt which felt more of a nod to boyhood easters to which I thanked her for  before we went back to her place.

That place has memories such as those cousins, their late father whose presence loomed and the many things that happened as they all sat on chairs and I was on a pouf at near floor level which of course was just how it was as the grown ups always had seats and we didn't enjoying a drink before setting off.

It feels so...different. To be returned in a setting that might of been decades ago but yet in some many ways one that felt so right for me.

A shock the day before

Day was long when this post was concieved but it is easily the most serious, the most worrying one so far in it's brievity I've had to make.

Earlier today as part of check on mothers blood pressure my dad had to find some medication she was to take as it needed to taken before a time before the test so as not invalidate the results only to find it wasn't there and moreover the tablet containers were in something a mess with the wrong thing things in them like loads of painkillers not prescribed and stacks on unused medication that clearly showed she hadn't taken it.

It was not so suprising that she was very unwell the last few  days although we'd other suspicions about why that was with spending long periods tired and a chest infection in the last day and a bit.

Obviously she'd got in muddle with taking medication without realizing it to the point of saying something.

Having spend god knows how many hours actively caring for her it's taken a lot out of me beyond of her wellbeing and the collective shock.

If things seem slow and I'm not about much, that's why.

Weekly review

I'll say at the outset, I am not at all well day so apologies in advance if this entry is a but shorter than usual or has any mistakes.

After the rather overcast and wet weekend here in the Midlands, we are seeing the return of Sun and more warmer weather for being out in having seen a good number of house sparrows, blackbirds and magpies around in the last couple of days.

Indeed two house sparrows seemed to be engaged in a sparring session trying to chase each other from bush to bush and from tree branches until one achieved his victory.

This last few days though do feel different with me because I received a telephone call from an Aunt informing me my Uncle Ian had died suddenly at hospital where he'd been with a heart condition for a period.

It's fair to say he was something of a character, having got his GCE's he was Mechanical Engineering Apprentice of the Year, receiving an award and then decided the world of regimented work wasn't for him so did odd jobs, acted as a Gamekeeper on an Estate  and the like until ill heath meant he wasn't able to work.

He also got into serious trouble related to the controversial Community Charge aka the "Poll Tax" spending a short time in prison in the early 1990's.

This all said he was very much a family man, highly involved in his own children's lives and always always having time for me especially when for a period he lived but two houses away from us and we played with and spent time inside with him and his family having joint fireworks for Guy Fawkes Nights with Catherine wheels whizzing through the air almost setting fire to nappies on the washing line!

It was a different era when it came to things around heath and safety.

He always seemed to understand me talking away at parties and that about various things.

It's too early to know about funeral arrangements not least with Covid and it's restrictions still about but it's certainly affected my emotions this week.

Upon the death of my Uncle

My Uncle died Friday of dementia and Covid-19 complications and looking back on it being unable in the current conditions to visit him before so, abiding memories of him through early boyhood include buying me a real leather cowboy dress up set with holster and gun that had a distinctive aroma.

He also bought me numerous cap guns and caps that I enjoyed firing at anyone and anything that double crossed me in play as he loved Westerns and often sat with me watching them.

He also got me my first 'proper' tape recorder when I became thirteen years old and knew my inner boyside well.

R.I.P Uncle Tom.