Getting on with business

 We're working through things here from dealing with up and down emotions as you spot things around that remind you of Mum, the times you feel like saying "Mum, just where is "he" coming from" as dad rambles on about changes that don't quite seem to stack up right logically and the mumber of times you here a knock and you go to shoot up to her room...and she's not there.

I've gone beyond counting the absolute number of cards received since notifications started, easily some forty plus as we sort out the funeral, having got a venue, an underaker, a person to lead it that happens to be a close cousin who is a Minister of Religion, two hymns sorted thet  we know she liked.

We're due to have a meeting with other immediate family members to look at the "style" of service things like the procession, bouquets, dress codes (pushing for no formal codes here) and the like.

There won't be traditional mass sandwich and tea do afterwards as that's not what she'd of wanted and indeed I remember only too well the 150 strong dinner Dad's Mum had upon her death, all prebooked and that. That was kinda big and getting less than personal.

We're getting out, keeping calm and all that so we'll leave things at that until next week.

R.I.P. Mum

Following a period of recent illness  mum died

* Loving wife to Dad

* Loving Mother to three sons including me, Grandmother to many

* Sunday schoolteacher and Mother's Union member

* Parish councillor and campaigner for children's facililties locally.

R.I.P Mum.

A shock the day before

Day was long when this post was concieved but it is easily the most serious, the most worrying one so far in it's brievity I've had to make.

Earlier today as part of check on mothers blood pressure my dad had to find some medication she was to take as it needed to taken before a time before the test so as not invalidate the results only to find it wasn't there and moreover the tablet containers were in something a mess with the wrong thing things in them like loads of painkillers not prescribed and stacks on unused medication that clearly showed she hadn't taken it.

It was not so suprising that she was very unwell the last few  days although we'd other suspicions about why that was with spending long periods tired and a chest infection in the last day and a bit.

Obviously she'd got in muddle with taking medication without realizing it to the point of saying something.

Having spend god knows how many hours actively caring for her it's taken a lot out of me beyond of her wellbeing and the collective shock.

If things seem slow and I'm not about much, that's why.

Play

One thing I find it hard to get my head around is how it is the notion of play, just doing things for the fun of it seems hard for people to accept in adults.

I make no pretence myself of saying "I'm off to play" meaning I will go into a secluded area and play an imaginary game of being a secret agent hiding and then running.

I might spend a good twenty minutes to a half hour playing on a swing but when any "grown up" mentions it is as if they have to wrap such activities in adult terms such as  playing with friends becomes "team bonding" with colleagues.

It's like you're no longer supposed to play even though you feel like it on the inside.

Does anyone else find this puzzling?