Today's is a bit different in that it's about my social skills and attitudes which are more of an issue when I'm naturally with people rather than say on my own and how far I've come on.
Until I heard of the expression "self sabotage" from my second best friend some years back I was never real able to explain how it while I believed in the ideal inevitable I'd end up up just enough to scrap through at best and often set out on line that would result in doing worse than I can by not preparing properly, not making a plan and just allowing myself to be distracted from what it is wanted to do for something more enjoyable or less effort.
Part of this was the belief that because I struggle though my disabilities with things then I could only fail so why even bother especially when few peopled cared if did try.
This is one I'm pretty good at and do take shoes off or change to slippers when I visit people even though I wasn't raised at home to.
I'm pretty good at this, not being inclined to enter into gossip sharing sessions with people or otherwise dish things up to people.
More often than not I'll go help somebody struggling but have struggled with the idea of helping as in contributing to something by giving my time and effort but is something that is being worked on.
You may of heard of yo-yo dieting but I've tended to be yo-you over taking exercise from my mid teens onwards, never looking cool and always wanting to do things involving being still to the exclusion of anything physical.
It may not help having a physical disability but not undertaking exercise of any form make that worse for me. I have been exercising for about forty minutes to an hour in sessions after thing about from clothes feeling a bit tight I was struggling with walking even short distances which does seem to be helping.
Another not good at although I am currently eating banana's and apples daily preferring chocolate caramel bars.
One affect of this is I had developed a disrespect for adult authority, a switched offness to any engagement and don't take advice well.
Generally I'm pretty good at being helpful, properly empathize more being left out deliberately by groups for gender or disability reasons
We should put an X through boy and replace by girl and usually I'm on the edge of talking back usually as a defense mechanism to brush them away lest they hurt me and my feelings which hasn't been helped in the past for seeing other people as having the same exact authority and non OVER me.
It also didn't help that those I was with believed in letting me try to control OVER them as a way of coping with MY needs.
More often than not I do clean them, mind you with anything to hand such as screwdriver blades etc and always scrub them after handling anything they may of sank into.
I'm usually pretty good over respecting other peoples space or property as a rule
I've been generally bad over this tending to be caught up more in the moment being with someone or doing something I feel compelled to continue on with not helped by feeling at times that you should fit more around what I'm doing.
As a former politician arguing for the sake of it was a stock in trade even when in practical terms it made little difference and caused more issues than it solved.
I'm pretty good over borrowing you know. Like returns stuff prompt looking after it super carefully
Still a difficult one as I tend to dump and run, never really making time to put things away in any real order and when people move them getting super annoyed with them soon moving to argument not being prepared to back down
If anything my problem is less around taking more than I need to claim it for me so much as being a poor and at times fussy eater with genuine restrictions on diet too with intolerances and allergies.
As having read this you can see there is much when comes my attitudes and that I do struggle with which is why rather late in the day I'm getting a lot more targeted help at them as in many respects I really should of learnt and moved on from many of these eons ago and why if I'm with you it helps if you try to hold me more to account so I do change and those that have become more second nature to me.
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