Lessons for today

 There is something very magical in watching this gif from the Christopher Robin film a few years back where he talks with Winnie the Pooh his bear in its emotional honesty sharing his innermost thoughts, trusting him totally.

It takes me back to around his age in so many ways where we did let it all out in an age where stoicism was more the approved thing in boys which in insolation I feel did is no real good at all as we never really processed our emotions and considered them as part of how we responded to situations whither or not it was about us and our families or that of our mates.

It's also the feeling of trust and empathy for one another whatever might be happening, that we do look after each other through the good and bad things that happen in that time.

The New Neighbour

This week I'm just finishing off a few things like ditching one site that promised much but really didn't do anything me while I'm just back from spending time out in Grey shorts with minus 1 degrees temperatures!

Thinking really about what boyhood was really about, not least when in my junior years we had an influx of new boys as the estate was being built rather those we'd grown up with from the first weeks of infants and even the Play Group our Mums had all enrolled us in I saw this beautiful poem.

All right in this country most of us don't play Baseball although I do like to watch it but for us going down the lane bouncing your football towards the park or a patch of open land has the same feel.

You do have that he's the New Kid in town feel and maybe go over to him and open up a conversation and perhaps offer to be friends.

Sadly you can oh so easily tell the boys who's without any close friends but you know it's our responsibility to make him an offer. 

Until next week, Bye!

End of Summer Review

Last post of August here on the Boy Talk so I'm feeling more reflective  which is what most of this blog will be plus things to do with this last week.

It's not been the best of starts to the week  suffering from a migraine that started  in the early hours of Monday and had not shifted yesterday either so not much happened short of staying in bed with my pj's on.

I'ma little better today but remain very groggy unfortunately.

First off I have been taking stock of my large music and video based collection, pruning it of duplicates and of things like box sets that you might only watch once in seven years and for the reminder of the time they just sit around gathering dust.

While its true compared to their older forms such as VHS tape or Eight track tapes they are slimmer it still doesn't a lot before it gets into sizable piles growing ever skyward! There is a limit to just how many of these things you can keep.

In general my general behaviour and attitudes have been pretty good although between next doors antics and that there's been enough provocation to set me off going by my past which shows I am maturing.

If I'm getting to the point of risky attitudes and the like, then I need a spanking to pull me back and I'd sooner that happens.

A good friend has been spending time off work exploring and will be returning by the time they read this as they messaged me Sunday during a gap which is nice but I'm glad in a way that they're not messaging me all that time because it's important for them as it is for me to learn to switch off, spend time with those that care for them while they're away and enjoy the time at the places they go.

Of course I miss them, truthfully I can think few people in my life I ever missed not being around to spend time with because they've taught a lot about life, is a person I care for deeply and has taught me things about myself even but in odd sort of way we have grown up together and are growing up as adult middles living the same sort of life.

That way of life is the one I feel best suits my actual needs helping me make the most of life with my disability centred limitations but at the same time helping me mature to a point that matches my emotional age and intelligence.

Bonds and Role of dress

Today's post does build upon a little from last weeks and probably will tie in with a future post or two as a number of ideas whizz though my mind rather like a certain boy in the Beano did when I was younger.

Bonding really is big one because it's really about a shared sense of identity that leads to a emotional and social sense of connection that almost instinctively you recognize each other, connecting.

You look each other in the eye and feel that you can share things about yourself such as your feelings and interests with each other to the point you become mates, play mates forever together kicking a ball about, playing chess, a computer game or just engaged in horseplay.

You may talk about a book you read, a comic you follow religiously or your musical likes and dislikes as we did often did over school dinners comparing the merits of Wizzard, Mud, the Bay City Rollers and Pilot or what you did at cubs. 

You may talk about what you like to wear outside school.

It's possible that you may even talk about what it means and how it feels to be a schoolboy which I have heard a few do because our school uniforms our just a part of how we are as school boys.

I always loved my uniform but I loved and still love being him.

 
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The Christmas Truth Present

This week has been a challenging one in a number of ways with issues with and on Tumblr with false flagging and labelling, question marks about the future of TSB 2 and with some followers.
In another a chance conversation with a lady who was a part of my Junior School life to who I saw in the community after I left often when I returned to that school to see school plays by the new generation of Juniors, helping organizing raffles to raise funds and so on got me thinking.
Mrs Evans (ours was a generation that NEVER spoke to an adult by first name), happened to be out in her garden as having been out for walk watching nature and frankly regressing  I turned into her road.
She is eight-five years of age, worked was a helper at the school when I was there and lost her son in his early twenties trying to keep the peace with the British Army during "The Troubles" in Northern Ireland between the nationalists and unionists.
In the years since I left school she held a respected role in our community as found raiser for local concerns such as my junior school and the social club for the over 50's organizing coach trips to places. 
In these settings my connections with her were always renewed.
Walking toward the called me over with a "Good morning Christopher, how are you?" as then then enquired around how we and our families are and what they're up to.
It has be said I was dressed in my shorts and long socks with just a decent coat on given it is winter looking very much as the boy she encountered all those years ago except for being obviously taller.
I spoke to her in that boyish mindset especially as she enquired about christmas and before walking off thank her for talking by the non adult "Mrs Evans" title.
That conversation came from the adult boy in a community that being fairly stable knows me and my family  where many of my class and families still leave.
In my community for all of my disabilities, it's impact on employment it reminded me of a few important truths.
The first is my community sees me as a boy who found his place in it - they know me and know of my work in organizations in it, even leading it and took up his responsibility to himself and to the stewardship of his community.
I am known by name and have their respect. 
They know and respect the progress I made in being able to do just that mastering my disabilities the very best I could and that far from so easily being passive and detached from the community I rose to the challenge and got stuck in doing things others did not.
It is also a community that accepts a harsh truth that is in certain respects I remain that boy but values how that combination of more mature abilities and child-like mindset has enabled me to contribute something of value to all.
The adult but boy on the street they see in his shorts is an asset to his community.

Tumblr and being a Little Boy forever

Somethings change and somethings are changing  when it comes to me and how that works out in my online life and it's necessary driver my real one too.

To get a idea of what it is it means to be me we need to reexamine what was and for me an indication of it was the fact that a boy of nine and a half years is playing with seven year olds in the infant playground because he has not caught up with how his peers play and is unaware of how he appears to others.

He relies on the support of his class to make sense of what is going on, being told by them what to do and who appear to him to be older children even though he is the same age and he acts in less mature way for his age.

The same pattern repeats itself from when he moves to high school as a boarder every eighteen months or so as he's left behind as the younger boy of the same year group and age. 

The more 'adult' in build you get, the less acceptance you get for being Age Dyphoric you get although there's no cure for being the way we are.

I truly remain a Little Boy.

Earlier on in the year I decided to return to an all boy environment and give nature a second chance.

That has helped for encouraging me to express openly more masculine traits being in an environment that respects them as being an important and necessary part of who I am as I cut away from anything overly feminine
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I have had a great week for feeling more confident and comfortable in my own skin just acting on my own inner male feelings while taking over a Tumblr and establishing TSB 2 as the group tumblr doesn't allow me any one to one communication.