2017 Review

It is the custom on to write an annual review  on a blog and That Traditional Schoolboys's Dorm is no exception where we gather trends and notable episodes and here they are usually connected to my behaviour, attitude and disciplining.
The starting point is this blog was made like the other only this year although I have been regressing  for quite a number of years and this one in particular looks more at my emotions, feelings and the role of spanking in my life as an adult schoolboy.
I try to write it in a way that is more interesting than just a few words to a picture or relay as I've seen many especially on Tumblr do on just repetitive images because when I read a blog, I hope to learn something of the individual and what this life means to them.
One thing I hope should be clear to all is it isn't a spanking blog but a blog that covers spanking in my life so my life, my emotions and feelings which do feed into situations where spanking is how I'm disciplined is covered rather more than just blogging about spanking that frankly bores the pants off me.
One thing I am  talking rather more about is how my disabilities effect me, the stress and frustrations I feel and how that can and does effect my interactions with others in part because just writing about such things as feeling your needs are ignored in the political debate and how the changes to government social programs affect and influence my responses.
Coping with changed circumstances and some of the bigger issues with my family has been a challenge but a good measure of how I've matured is I haven't kicked off over it regardless of what from my point of view is provocation. 
Another has been how the support  over the years is helping to change some of my more immature responses to situations to one where I do take more responsibility not just for myself but also for others by doing things for everyone from helping more while away to actively taking a part in preparing and cooking what we are eating.
Moving to being a passive consumer of others contributions to making a contribution.
That change has helped me come on leaps and bounds this year learning to be more mature within my limits as that adult but child schoolboy, doing what he is capable of  and that has to be good.
Another thing has been working on some of the confusion and interference by others when it comes to my own sense of gender with support from people who are prepared to actually listen, taking their cue from me.

Part of that has been encouraged to read stories around boys dealing with various issues and disabilities with a focus that was a part of my life in junior school, playing soccer with the other boys.
It's not just learning how to cope with things but also so I recall more those social bonds and from that recover that sense of deep masculinity within me so I own the  boyhood I had before all of that other stuff crept in but on my terms as that boy.
In 2017 then I'm getting the support I need to enjoy being who I am.

Pre Christmas Edition

*** MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS ***

Your regular service will resume on December 27th

Establishing a mature independent you...

I recently saw this which was originally published by the artist Kittycouch in April that I thought summarized so well what trying to be a mature independently minded person with your own boundaries but also respecting other peoples ideas is about.
I just thought in a week that saw some drama in one Age Regression community and also at the spanking needs site this is somethat's needed as everything within it applies and it is I aspire to in handling differences which everyday normal things between people.

The real dysphoria for me

 Sometimes things just come to you

For so long as as it's all being going on people have been talking about how you might be different than others when they look at how you are socially and it probably is true a tiny handful of people are so at variance that perhaps they could be seen to have a gender based dysphoria.

Some people used to think I did cos I had the odd thing that was different to that more in tune with girls at that time although today that's not something you could say applied.

The real dysphoria for me was never about gender (and much of the stuff around that came more than people who had their own issues) but more age dysphoria in that I never and still don't see myself as anything remotely grown up - a man in other worlds.

I remain in most respects very much a boy, a juvenile, and my dysphoria is how that applies to how people seeing a bigger bodied me treat me inappropriately by applying judgements and standards that apply to men when it is that what is within is still very much a boy of around ten years of age and certainly no more advanced than a average twelve year old, admittedly an intelligent one.

Whatever you see on social media, there's really two genders not sixty three and counting including cross species and most of us are one with the odd personal variance.

To me it breaks down to this: 

A schoolboy can wear a kilt to school  as well as shorts or long pants and has absolutely no need unless 'he' is going through transition to girlhood to wear dresses and be called a gender he most certainly is not.

HE is even in his own individual variations a BOY and the sooner we accept that, the better.

The only thing I want to be called is a Male and a Boy and that is because it's what I am the odd variation aside.

Going back to going forward

The endless discourse in my life around sex and gender has taken a good many years to resolve including resolving the misunderstood points, peer pressure and manipulations of others even though you could say in hindsight, the person who knew best actually was me had it been I'd of more aware of the whole topic and had the language skills to do so.

Sex and Gender can have ramifications beyond the academic or purely personal interest level though of which one is just the whole business around buying your own clothes and specifically the area of underwear cos while some forms of attire can be seen as for either or any gender underwear brings its own things such as actual physicality.

Like most boys, until you got to certain age usually connected with either romantic involvements or leaving school your mother bought your clothes and if you were lucky, you'd have some say in it.
Because I was around as a child/teen in the nineteen seventies and early eighties, you were bought boy briefs because your sex was that and for most they would be Y fronts even though it was also the start of point I was trying to figure out why my gender preferences didn't always line up with other boys.

Around late February 1987 when Nick Kamen was stripping off in the Laundromat to his boxer shorts , the very short lived LM "Lone Male" magazine had a feature on boxer shorts which I did try for a while but did find that the tended to ride making for an uncomfortable experience 'down below' and why they may of been cooler than my polyester mix Y fronts they provided no support where I at least needed it.

Under the influence of some in the transgender community, specifically transexuals who thought *everything* I experienced growing up and since  came down to my gender being trapped in the wrong sex body the issue became one of which sexes underwear do I wear. 
And yet briefs are just that beyond being cut for your sexes anatomy and I couldn't see how anything cut for females could really fit well.

I then found I was starting getting much more into regression which in some respects made what was something I didn't feel actually helped me, so the idea of  presenting in a more feminine way was  more redundant because school age regression with uniforms isn't something you 'pass' at in city centre coffee shops and I started drifting back to where all this started, being a school boy who was a boy but had different gender preferences in some areas.

Through my exploration of age regression as a boy and adult school boy I started to move toward putting together a uniform and more boyish 'play' clothes but that returned the focus back to underwear because I knew  what I had worn first time round but had not  changed since.

Though ASB I found out the standard of choice was what I had worn in my childhood and feeling that that whole period of female presentation in  any form had not done anything for my actual problems like feeling good about my sex and finding a way of handling doing both masculine and feminine things and still feeling 'a boy at heart', decided to bite the bullet and put myself back into Y fronts and ditch all else.

One thing I noticed straight off was underwear actually designed for my sex fitted better where it needed to which was a far bit more comfortable on me when doing more physical things.
I am finding ASB age regression is helping me learn to love being a boy all over again, feeling able to hold my own accepted without prejudice as a boy and nothing less and making one decision to embrace my sex and wear our standard has helped in re-integrating me back to being the best boy I can.

That ironically was all I ever wanted from the issues I had around gender preferences and presentation.  

* This is where I feel most comfortable, a boy in his uniform, playing wearing his Y fronts and happy*

An Authentic Chris

Here at the dorm I've been rather busy dealing with the Blogsphere tm of this is one of a few in this family of blogs that go back to the mid 2000's that deal with different aspects of my life overlapping a little but with main focus which so reminds me of school Venn Diagrams that one was to draw neatly or be suitably admonished.

In someways then it's perhaps for the best this member is fairly recent as all the 'baby steps' in blogging happened before and had been learnt from so the same mistakes had not been repeated.

An often repeated comment I hear at various sites that sadly I'm less able than I'd like due to my physical disabilities is around the extent in a world where people do cultivate an image of themselves and their abilities to the point when one interacts with them either messaging or face to face even there's a gap between what you read and what you see with me I'm very much the same on any site, any kind of 'chat' and  when I've been privileged to spend time face to face with people for extended periods.

The word that comes to mind is "Authenticity", the extent to which one is true to yourself in harmony with your own spirit while respecting rules and social conventions that make life frictionless as we all know what to expect.

Thus while on one blog I do write more of joys of littles regressed life and here around emotions, attitudes and at times role of corporal punishment in my life neither denies what the other centred on and where all is intertwined, the one whole me.

What I write about is what I feel, what I have experienced and actually know routed in my life albeit my education, employment and learning more about coping with my actual needs rather than what may know second hand or the views of those who write about what they have read.

The one thing towering over all is a childhood that was very much routed in being in an actual boarding school for much of my education which went beyond of curriculum subjects but in moral character building and standards and one that understood you learn through consequences, believing strongly in disciplining you very much for ones own good.

What I have to say around this and as it applies in particular to corporal punishment  is very from having received it 'in loco parentis' several times each deserved and from that how that changed for the better those attitudes and behaviours first hand rather than any kind of role playing fantasy.

I know it works well with me as it did with most of my peers at the time not just in nipping our behaviour in the bud but also of deterrence of the class,  year group and ultimately whole school from acting on such impulses.

The benefits in terms of being able to study, to have your teacher just come in and start the lesson and carry on with everyone engaged rather than endless low level disruption might surprise present generations!

It is that I suspect the last person who commented picked up on in the broader sense in that I am the product of such an education and it shows in my work.
Thank you for your compliment.

Getting your masculine mojo back

Getting your mojo back can be a problem not lest if you've had the kind of background I have had but there are a number of things I find can help with it so you feel more the masculine boy you are.

One of the first things is to reduce the gap between what you think and what you do. As males we're a mixture of the innate and the cerebral where we do have the ability to take control of our thoughts and behaviours so it makes sense to ensure they are connected to identifiable end.

Be sure you know what the intended outcome of your actions are and start from there.

Integrity matters and not just for the other person so it makes sense to live with them, honour your commitments, make a task list, completing it.

The key to it is to do what you said you were going to being true to your own word.

Finally work on building up your courage which can appear to a hard task in a risk averse society like ours. Challenge yourself whither that's something connected with endurance or say learning a practising a new hobby or interest.

Don't go with the easy familiar option following the escalator everyone else uses  and learn to become more comfortable with being out of your comfort zone, trying something new.